


The Witness

by topumasum



Series: The Witness series [1]
Category: BUCK-TICK, X JAPAN, momoe yamaguchi
Genre: Angst, Death, Detective, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other, Romance, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:15:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 68,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topumasum/pseuds/topumasum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was time. I put my coffee back and returned to the morgue. The body, Yoshiki, was not on the bed. I took my torch and pointed the light at every corner until I found him cowering at the corner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

 

# Atsushi:

I drove to the hospital with the windows rolled down. It was 14 degrees in Fujioka and the sky was dark. The absence of sunlight made me shiver and I feared that it would rain. I arrived before my fear manifested into reality and I rushed into the corridor. The atmosphere inside, however, was colder than outside. I detested the cold.

The nurse led me to the deeper and colder part of the hospital-the morgue.

He was waiting, my colleague, in his white lab coat amidst of many dead bodies. He noticed my arrival and the nurse left. He smiled at me.

"Acchan, thank you for coming." My colleague-Yagami Toll-said to me. His voice was lively, despite being in the room of the dead. He hugged me as I greeted him.

“Anii.”   Is what I addressed him with due to him being my elder. He was like an older brother to me. 

"This is the body I want you to look at."     Anii uncovered the face of the body and revealed a male, devoid of any colour. His lips were tightly shut. His hair was long as mine, almost reaching his waist. He was elegant than most bodies I’ve seen. He was something I would call beautiful even in death.

"His name’s Yoshiki Hayashi. He was a kindergarten teacher and a part time private teacher. He was found dead in his apartment. His blood sample revealed overdose of sleeping pills and external bleeding."  He said.  

I slightly removed the blanket from his wrist and saw the mark.  

“He sliced his wrists.”  I pointed out. The cut was deep and severed all the veins. Anii squinted due to lack of sleep and continued.

“I found injuries around his private parts. I suspect sexual assault. I couldn’t gather any DNA because he cleaned himself before suicide and burned the clothes he wore. The police found his burned clothes. But the injuries were very obvious. It didn’t escape my inspection. I think that he didn’t want to be disgraced in death.”

“What makes you think that he is one of them?”   I asked him which was the very reason I was here for. Anii nodded and pulled the blanket further down his body, revealing his chest. The mark was obvious. The petals were engraved on his skin. It was the mark of the undead.

“Someone wished him back.”   He said.    “You know what to do. I’ll leave you to do it.”   He walked past me, encouraging me with a pat on the back.   “You can call Hide, if you want.”

“I can manage.”   Was my answer. Hide was a friend of ours who was also a part of the investigation. Although he sould be here with me, I asked him to take a break due to some incidences. Anii shrugged and left the morgue.

I looked at the man but I covered his body. Now all I needed to wait for was the cold lone night.

When the night fell and less footsteps passed the morgue, I decided to treat myself with some free coffee. Fortunately, most of the staff were gone partly for the reason I was here. They knew me and they had to allow me the authority to investigate. That was the order the staff received.

On my way back, I heard thumping noises from the morgue.

It was time. I put my coffee back and returned to the morgue. The body, Yoshiki, was not on the bed. I took my torch and pointed the light at every corner until I found him cowering in a corner. He clutched the blanket over his nakedness, crying silently. His long hair covered him more than the ragged blanket.

I slowly walked to him but with each step, his whimpers grew louder. I raised my hand, trying to show that I was not to be feared.   “It’s okay…”   I whispered and put the torch down and got on my knees.   “I am here to help.”

“No…no…please don’t.”   He cried anyway and buried his face in the blanket. 

“I won’t harm you.”   I was as gentle as possible. Undead like him were very sensitive to rebirth.    “I want to help you.”

“Why am I here? Why am I back?”   he sobbed and asked himself. To him, I was invisible. He was dealing with the trauma of both death and life. I needed to give him some time.

“Yoshiki…”   I called him and he finally looked at me clearly. I continued.   “Yoshiki…my name is Atsushi Sakurai and I help people like you. Don’t fear me.”

“People…like me?”   It was obvious that he didn’t understand, like many before him.

“Yes.”   I nodded and sat comfortably.   “You died but you were brought back to life by someone. We need to find the person who did it so you can pass peacefully to the afterlife.”

Yoshiki’s look was defeated. He just wanted to die and someone deprived him of that. He hugged himself and cried again as I realised his reason to choose death.

“I know what you went through and I swear I will find the person who did this to you.”  I tried make my voice a little softer.   “Just let me help you.”

“Please, give me some clothes. Please…”   He cried. I had no clothes with me but I opened my overcoat and slowly went to him. I had to be careful with my movement. I put the coat on him and sat near him.

“Will you come with me? Will you let me help you?”

Yoshiki grabbed on the coat and covered himself from me. No matter how much help I offered, I was still a man who was capable to doing bad things. That’s what he feared.

“I will not touch you. I promise.”   I slowly and carefully gave him a brotherly pat on the head.   “Will you come home with me?”

Yoshiki finally eased and looked at me doe-eyed. He nodded.

I tried to help him up but he fell.   “I can't walk! I can't…”   He panicked and grabbed my arm. I held the cold hand and assured him.

“It’s normal. Your legs will take time to function.”   I asked him.   “Will you let me pick you up?”

He saw no other way and gave in. I picked him up carefully and walked out into the cold. He was very light which was very normal. The undead lose a substantial amount of weight after their rebirth.

My coffee remained in the hospital, untouched. It was raining outside in the middle of the night. He hid his face on my chest, unable to bear the rainfall. It was a usual behaviour of the undead.

“Why…why does it feel this way?”   He asked me, trying to breathe.

“Your body is readjusting to everything. It will feel different, even awful.”   I quickly went to my car and got him in. Afterwards, I drove back to my home.

Yoshiki was quiet, something I appreciated. I liked the silence. Usually the undead would ask a lot of things but he didn’t. He didn’t seem interested in the knowledge. His suffering must have been too much for him to bear.

I focused on the road, hoping he would be comfortable at my home. He was my third assignment since my job started a year ago. The undead would rise up very rarely as waking them was a difficult thing to do and not everyone could do it.

Yoshiki gasped when I stopped my car.   “We are here.”   I said to him and got out of the car. I hoped that no one would see him while I took him to my apartment. Some of the neighbours were very nosy, especially the one opposite of my apartment.

I took him to the room where I felt he would be most comfortable in. I laid him down and quickly opened the wardrobe. I knew he had questions as to why the room was light pink and there were pictures of a girl. However, he didn’t ask. I took out some pants and shirt, assuming that he was of the same size.

“Here. It’s clean.”  I said.  “I would have shared mine but, they are a little too big at the moment.”

He took it and nodded as if thanking me. I forced a smile and told him.   “I’ll wait outside for you to change. I’ll get you a glass of water.”

I left him and locked the door but my knees gave away. I fell and let my breath out tiredly. I was exhausted. The undead gave me a feeling of despair and hopelessness. It was tough shaking that feeling off. Moments later I heard him calling me.   “I’m done…”

I quickly stood up and took a glass of water to the room but I stopped for a moment. He was in the clothes I gave him. They fit him perfectly despite for being the opposite gender. However, it also brought back too many memories. I stiffened and gave him the water. Although he hesitantly took it, he eagerly drank it. The undead craved water.

I sat on the stool beside him as he tried avoiding my eyes. I started.   “I know this is hard for you, Yoshiki, but you have to know and understand that you are still dead.”   I dreaded this part. I always hated explaining everything to them and cause them to have a panic attack. Somehow, this part of the job landed on me.  “The mark on your chest is proof that someone asked you back and we need to find that person but before we start I need to know…who did this to you?”

Yoshiki hugged his knees, finally able to move his legs. I knew what I asked him was troubling but I had to know. He shook his head and answered.

“I don’t remember.”   And he started sobbing.   “I can't remember and yet…I remember everything else.”

I became rigid again. How must it feel to remember the pain but not the perpetrator? He must have wanted to forget about it, otherwise the memory would still be with him. This could be the reason why he washed himself to destroy the evidence. He quietly cried. I left my seat.  

“I’ll let you sleep. You don’t need to worry about anything. Your legs will be moving by tomorrow and we will start.”   I forced a smile and he nodded, wiping his tears.   “Sleep well.”

I left the room and went to my room. I felt myself fall onto the bed and just stared at the ceiling. The emptiness finally grabbed me. This assignment will be harder than the previous two. I looked at the picture on the nightstand. The picture showed me the perfect smile and the bright eyes. The clothes were the ones Yoshiki wore at the moment. Perhaps, I chose the clothes intentionally to see it worn once again. I missed her…

I did not realise that I was crying again. My body slowly gave up and gave into the slumber.

…

_“Acchan.”  Her voice radiated. Atsushi woke up near the bed and saw her smiling at him._

_“Ai?”  He almost hugged her. Her plump, sweet face never looked sweeter._

_“Acchan…”  Her voice softened with the grin._

_“Where are we?”   He couldn’t recognise the place._

_“You know where we are, silly. Look.”_

_He was in the hospital and Ai was on the bed. But she didn’t look sick.   “Ai, why are you here? Are you sick?”_

_“Silly Acchan of mine, don’t you remember, I am very sick and I don’t have much time.”_

_Atsushi felt his breath stopping. He held her and asked.   “Why? Why don’t you have time?”_

_She sniggered.  “Are you the older one or I? You have some awful memory. I am very sick, Acchan.”_

_“No, I refuse to believe it.”   Atsushi almost cried._

_“But Acchan, you have to believe it now.”_

_“Why?”   He asked angrily.   “Why must I believe it?”_

_“Because I am already gone.”_

…

# Hidehiko:

I looked at the phone, wanting to dial his number but then I realised the time. He must be exhausted from work. I wanted to go with him but he refused my assistance. He asked me to take a break as if I overworked myself. That man…he was a mystery. The long haired enchanting beauty captured everyone in his mystery, even me.

He is my friend and my brother. He is everything to me and yet I was unable to help him during his time of need. It was typical of him, always shutting out others to protect them from his miseries. My misery was nothing compared to his.

I looked at her picture. Her smile never faded from the frames as it never faded from my memory. Atsushi and she looked so happy.

“What should I do?”  I asked the picture hoping that she would provide an answer.   “What should I do to help him?”

Ai was the love of our lives who left us alone to go the other world, happily, with a smile on her face.

I touched my cheek and felt tears. I didn’t realise that I had started crying again. It was always like this.

* * *

#  Atsushi

#  Yoshiki

#  Hidehiko

#  Yagami Toll

#  Ai


	2. Two

# Atsushi:

My sleep broke with the doorbell ringing. I dragged myself out of the bed and opened the door. There she stood in her slim black trench coat and a blank face and some groceries. 

“Hey…”   I smiled feeling relieved by her arrival.

“Morning.”   She greeted without a smile and entered my apartment. She began taking out what she needed to cook.

“Did you eat?”   I asked her. Even though she cooked for me, she never ate with me. I wonder whether it was a habit or fear of me.

She responded with a hmm and I silently went to the bathroom to wash up. I came out and started helping her but she refused.

“Tend to the man in her bedroom.”

“How…”   Must have been Anii. He was just doing his job telling them as she was a part of the investigation too. I asked her:  “Is Hide coming?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.”   She bluntly said and asked me to leave the kitchen. But I insisted on helping.

“How are you, Momoe?”   I asked her.

“Why do you ask?”   She looked at me, her eyes as dead as ever.

“For no reason.”

She returned to cooking, leaving me idle. This was how Momoe was. She was a very different lady. She was an iron maiden. She was the one who took care of us during our time of need. She visited me every day to make sure that I ate. I was grateful to her.

I knew her since I was little. She was Ai's best friend who got acquainted with us. She was always distant from everyone, even us until she forced Momoe to get along with us. Once she did, she became the closest. She was like a second sister to me.

The doorbell rang again which caused me cold feet. I had a hunch about the visitor and didn’t want to open the door. Momoe noticed my expression and went to the door, pulling up her sleeves. However, it was not who I thought.

“Hide.”   I exhaled and went to hug him. Hidehiko Hoshino was my best friend and my partner in crime. He was the man who _Ai_ loved.   “You look terrible.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”   He smiled. I wonder whether he had nightmares too.

“You wasted the break then.”

Hide chuckled and greeted Momoe but she ignored him and went back to the kitchen. They never got along as long as I remembered them. He shook his head, being used to her attitude with him. He asked:

“How is he?”

I didn’t know how to term his feelings.  “Traumatised.”   It was the best I could come up with.

Momoe quietly served the food and waited till we ate it. It wasn’t that her cooking was bad, it was just our lack of appetite. She made sure we ate properly and finished everything on our plates.

“Momoe, you don’t have to do the dishes.”   I told her.

“Who said, I’m doing it? I’m throwing them in the washer.”  

I chuckled. She was funny sometimes with her witty and yet blunt remarks. It made Hide laugh, something I rarely see him doing.

“I’ll check on him.”   I left my seat and went to his door.   “Yoshiki?”

He didn’t respond to my call. Was he sleeping? I opened the door slightly and saw him on the bed. He was awake but not really conscious. He was looking outside the window, deep in thought.

“Yoshiki?”

He gasped and turned to me. I forced a smile to ease him.   “It’s okay. I have some friends who would like to help you. One of them is a woman. They are both good people and want to meet you.”  I grew nervous at his scared face.   “Would you like to meet them?”

His eyelids fluttered and he nodded. I asked the two to come in. Both Hide and Momoe were stunned to see Yoshiki in the clothes that belonged to Ai _._

I expected that they would be upset because both of them were a little possessive over her things, especially Momoe. However, Momoe surprised me by smiling and introducing herself. Yoshiki eased up, something that I’ve been trying to make him do since I met him. Perhaps, being with a woman made him feel comfortable,

Hide, too introduced himself without bitterness.

I slowly took a seat beside the bed with Hide but Momoe made herself comfortable on the bed.   “The clothes suit you but we need to buy you some new ones anyway.”

I knew that it caught Yoshiki off-guard. If he was alive, he would have blushed. He couldn’t respond to her compliment. Momoe softly asked.

“Could you tell us about yourself?”

“I…”  He looked at me.   “I can’t.”   He looked away. I tried to guess the reason for his unwillingness to share his past. Was it that bad?

“Yoshiki, we want to help you and knowing about you is our only way. If you don’t cooperate, we can never find the person who brought you back.”   Hide said.

He shut his eyes tightly and pleaded.   “Please…please…”

“You don’t have to share if you don’t want to.”  I rushed in, trying to calm him down.   “We won’t force you. We’ll let you in peace.”   I gestured the two to leave and they complied. I turned to Yoshiki and apologised.

“They are just trying to help. You can share when you feel like it.”   I paused.   “We will leave for work. You can make yourself comfortable around the house and…do what you like. There are books and laptop and TV. And don’t worry about anyone coming besides us.”

He whispered:   “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be…”   I assured him.   “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Thank you.”

I smiled at him again and left the room. I saw Momoe scolding Hide for rushing Yoshiki. Hide was taking all her scolding in. It amused me that Hide was so patient with everyone. I admired that about him.

“Don’t let this idiot go near him again.”  Momoe snapped at me before letting herself out the door. Hide sighed and shrugged.

“And yet you never learn.”   I said.

“I like it when she snaps.”  Hide said casually which made me snigger. I patted his back and walked to the door but a certain cheery voice startled me. 

“Keiko.”   I bowed curtly in response to her wide smile. She was Keiko Kitagawa, my neighbour who lived across the hall. She was a single lady and worked in a bank. I often wondered why she didn’t try modelling. She was quite pretty.

“Hi Acchan, where were you last night?"    She asked almost demandingly.    "I never saw you return.” 

I never liked it when she addressed me by that name. It was something I allowed few people to call me. Hide and Momoe were two of them and even Momoe never called me Acchan. Keiko greeted Momoe dryly, glaring at her but greeted Hide warmly. I never understood why she was bitter against Momoe. It was nothing like the enmity between Hide and Momoe. I could never figure it out.

“Um…we were busy with work.”   I always spoke for the three of us even when she asked about me. I forced a smile. I could sense her fascination towards me and she was never discreet about it. She made herself comfortable invading my space most of the time but I was never able to push her back.

“Oh, give yourself a break. A man like you needs his beauty sleep.”  She smiled perfectly.

I never understood why she called me a beauty. I wasn’t that good looking. I was about to say something but Momoe beat me to it.

“That is so nice of you to say that about him.”   She sneered.   “God has definitely sent someone to look after him but right now he needs to go to work and we’ll be late if we don’t run now.”   Momoe turned to me, encouraging me to agree with her.

“Yes, we are late. Thank you for asking and…I’ll see you later.”   Not even ‘tonight’ I hoped. I purposely returned late to avoid her gazes.  

I could see Keiko burning red with anger, her distaste for Momoe obvious. She forced a smile at me.  “I hope your day goes well and…”   She eyed Momoe once again.   “Hope you meet some good people who are worthy.” I didn’t know why she said that but returned to her room while we left. Hide snickered because he found it amusing. However, I found it distasteful. I didn’t forget to thank Momoe, though.

 

Anii was waiting for us along with his brother, Yutaka Higuchi and his friend, Hisashi Imai. Yutaka, or as Anii addressed him, Yuta, was nothing like his brother. Unlike Anii’s ‘naughty’ face, his expression gave out a very positive yet soft aura. He not only looked friendly, he was very kind and polite too. However, his friend looked the opposite. Imai was a man of few words who looked like anyone would die if they approached him. But he was nothing like he looked. He was a soft spoken man but very intelligent.

Hide and I hugged them while Momoe remained distant. She wasn’t closely acquainted with them as we were. Yuta started by putting a diary on the table. It had Yoshiki’s name on it.

“We found it not long after the initial investigation. We tried opening it but some sort of force is stopping us.”

There were forces that prevented us from interrupting certain matters or things. Diaries were one of them. Yuta added.   “If we ask him to open it, we might find the perpetrator and the Riser.”

Riser, is what we termed the ones who woke the dead. They were human; people with great determination and immense focusing skills. They could do what no other humans could do just by concentrating on their will and wish. But some were unaware of their abilities.

“But we dug out some history on him.”   Imai took out a file.   “He was 24 years old at the time of his death. He was born in Kyoto but moved to Gunma after his mother died at the age of ten. His mother had no relatives to take him in. His father’s brother and his wife took him in but he left home when he was 16 and they never brought him back. He lived around towns, doing cleaning and other odd jobs and managed to finish his education. He moved around a lot, living at some friends’ places until he managed to rent a single room with his new job.”

“And his father?”   Hide asked Imai.

“He left his mother before he was born. Some said that he was a drunk and gambler. Which was why he never received a penny out of the inheritance because it went to debt collectors.”

“We tried contacting his uncle and aunt but they are refusing to talk. We managed to contact a recent acquaintance of his but…she seemed rather indifferent to his death.”   Imai must have heard some harsh words about Yoshiki.

“We can't really know anything until he opens up.”   Hide said.   “Should we bring him to the office to get him to cooperate?”

Momoe shook her head, not liking the idea. Hide muttered an apology to her. I felt that, rather than trying to get him to open up, we should bring the memories to him.

“How is he?”   Anii asked me.

“He is…rather quiet.”   Unlike the previous risen ones.   “But he cries a lot and refuses to say anything. He remembers everything except the criminal.”   I hated the word ‘rapist’.   “I don’t know why he is trying to hide it.”

“Feeling of shame and guilt.”   Anii explained.   “Victims of such crime are subject to extreme scrutiny and so they avoid it altogether. He is man and that makes it even more excruciating.”

“I…”   I was speechless, not due to shock, but exhaustion.   “I’ll try talking to him.”

“Good, cause it he doesn’t, I’ll be assigning him to Momoe.”   Anii said.   “Maybe a woman’s company will comfort him.”

Hide secretly smiled because to him, Momoe was hardly a woman. Momoe was completely oblivious to him though. I couldn’t figure out what she was thinking but she nodded.

“Can I take the diary with me?”   I asked Toll and he agreed.

The rest of the day was spent on research and more investigation. However, my mind refused to focus on work. It wondered continually to Yoshiki, in my home, alone. What is he doing? Is he trying to escape?

The last to two undead escaped to relive the life but returned, feeling dissatisfied. Would he do the same? I remembered the first undead I was assigned with, a boy of 18. He was boisterous and lively but life betrayed him in a car accident which crushed his spine. His mother was so devastated that her will and wish brought him back to life. Unbeknown to herself, the woman was very powerful.

I remembered that he went to see his mother but he returned, feeling that he might just give her a heart attack instead of making her happy.

_“Return me…I no longer want to live like this. My mother will understand.”_

And I had to fulfil that wish. She refused to forget her son but ultimately she had to after what I had to do. I didn’t want to remember.

Why did we have this job? How did we end up with it? Who were we?

We were the ones who saw everything. We were the Witnesses. We were hired to witness the rise of the dead and help them move on. Are we the only ones? Turns out, no. We are all over the world, helping out the public and private sector any way we can to avoid letting the others know.

It was our job to keep the living from the dead and yet we could never keep death away from life.

I noticed Hide lost in thought at his desk. I knew where his eyes were. They were on the picture of her.

Ai…

Hide was discreet with his emotions because of me. He didn’t want me to feel that he meant more to her than I. After all, I was her brother and he was the one she chose to live her life with. I didn’t want him to feel that way. I wanted him to move on and love again but I doubt he ever will.

I am glad though that he was with me in this.

 

We left office at 12 at night. The six of us parted ways for the day and returned home. I hoped that he fell asleep. The undead slept a lot because their bodies were exhausted. My apartment was dark. He was asleep then as I hoped.

I noticed somethings disarrayed in the kitchen. He must have tried to eat something. It was usual that they tried to taste food but alas, they could only drink water. I put the knife where it belonged but noticed something. Fear crept through me as I guessed why the knife was on the floor.

I barged into his room and found him in the corner, crying. His hands were mutilated. He cried not because of the damage he tried to do to himself, but because it did not bleed. The undead cannot bleed. He noticed my horrified and yet pitying expression.

“I’m sorry!”   he cried.   “I couldn’t…I couldn’t help it!”   He was ashamed of stooping so low even after knowing that he was dead. I stood near the door, powerless against his woes. I should be the one to say sorry for my failure to help him.

“I should be the one apologise to you.”   I said, entering the room and sitting down a few feet away from him.   “I have failed to help you feel secure. I have failed to help you to come to terms with this new life. Forgive me.”

“What do I do?”   he cried helplessly.   “I don’t want to live! I can't live on! I’ve endured too much! I hate this world! I hate everyone!”

I saw anger in him, for the first time. I took out the diary and showed it to him. He stopped crying and looked at it.   “How did you…?”

“The police found it but they can't open it.”   I shoved the diary to him on the floor.   “I think that…the criminal’s information can be found in this diary but only if you are willing to remember.”

Yoshiki looked deep in thought. He was duelling with himself. He didn’t want to remember but he clearly wanted him to be punished. Yoshiki took the diary and tried opening it but even he failed.

“Why can't I open it?”

“Because…you are not ready to face your fears yet.”

He didn’t understand me and I knew why. Most didn’t understand facing their fears. Then his expression changed as he understood my statement.

“No…”  he refused.   “No, no! I won’t do it! I won’t see them! I don’t want to see them after what they did to me! They…all of them…”   He tried to wipe away his tears but broke down sobbing instead.

“It’s your wish, Yoshiki. Your choice, you get to decide what to do. Your choice matters.”

But deep down, I hoped he chose our way. He softly told me.

“No one…ever said that to me.”

To be honest, it struck me. What kind of a household was he brought up in that his choices were ignored? An abusive one, no doubt. I left his side and pulled the blanket off the bed. I threw it on him, covering him.   “Sleep.”

I had already reached the door when he asked me.   “Who are you, really?”

I smiled at him, this time genuinely.   “I am Atsushi Sakurai. I am a witness. Good night, Yoshiki.”

…

_“Acchan? Acchan.”_

_Atsushi woke again. He found himself in his home with her. She was on her bed, wearing white. She looked lovely._

_“Acchan.”_

_“Ai…”   He felt calm.   “How are you feeling?”_

_“Me? I feel just fine. Why do you ask?”_

_Atsushi huffed, relieved that it was nothing but a nightmare. She was alive and with him. He smiled.   “Nothing. Hide is waiting patiently for you.”_

_“Hide? Why? I’ve been here with you the whole time.”   She was a little confused._

_“It’s nothing. He is a little lovesick.”_

_Ai giggled and finally got to her point.   “I think it’s time.”_

_“Time for what?”_

_“To move on.”_

_Atsushi froze. This was the moment where everything would shatter. His dream would break and he would wake in the harsh reality._

_She smiled and kissed his eyes._

_Everything ended right there._

_…_

# Hidehiko:

Even though I was tired, I couldn’t sleep. My mind kept drifting off to Acchan. He looked troubled the whole day. It was unfortunate that he landed with the job to babysit the undead. Why did they choose him? It was because of his abilities to calm the undead down. Neither I or Momoe possessed that skill. I was more skilled at finding the Risers and other like us while Momoe was skilled at combat when things went wrong. Fortunately, nothing went wrong yet.

Were we blessed with these abilities since birth but we never realised it until it was too late. The gifts or skills were not material enough for anyone to notice.

As for us, our skills were noticed very later in life and it was brought to our notice by Yuta. He was a finder like me but his expertise was more around finding Witnesses, than Risers.

Overall, we were all called the witnesses. Did we expect it? No. Do we despise the job? No, it paid good. Did it make us miserable? Sometimes.

Acchan was the one who suffered most. He lost his only family member but he hid it for my sake. He was the one who never moved on. Sometimes he wished that she would return but he never dared to think about it very much. He didn’t want to put her through that torture. Plus, it was too late when we found out about all of this.

I didn’t want to stay home. This place had too many memories of her. The sky rumbled, threatening to rain. But I paid no heed and went out in the middle of the night.

I had only one place in mind. The place I always avoided ever since that day. I refused to go, refusing to believe that she was no more. I never even accompanied Acchan to that place during that time of the year.

What was making me so desperate this time? Why tonight? Because of the nightmares I’ve been having. She always told me the same thing.

_“You don’t come and see me anymore. I want to see you, Hide.”_

It only meant that she wanted me to visit her. She wanted me to see something, otherwise she wouldn’t cry so much in my nightmares. It terrified me so much. I didn’t want to see her cry, not even in my dreams or nightmares. It always ended up with her vanishing from my grasp.

I arrived and took my umbrella out. The line of lonely gravestones did not comfort me at all. However, I was surprised to see the last person I would expect.

“Momoe?”

She was sitting near the grave, without an umbrella, being drenched the rain. I never knew that she visited this place at such an ungodly time. Then I realised, while Acchan sought comfort in his home where she left most of her memories with him and I at places where we visited the most, Momoe sought comfort at the very place where she lay.

I never knew.

I walked to her and shielded her from the rain. She looked up, surprised to see me at this hour. She gave her usual frown, displeased by my presence but she said nothing. I wonder whether she always visited her.

She stood up and left my shelter, giving the gravestone one last look.

‘Here lies a sister, a lover and a friend. Ai Sakurai.’

I caught up to Momoe and shielded her from rain again. She stopped and asked me.   “Didn’t you come to meet her?”

I nodded, hoping it would satisfy her but she snapped.   “Then why are you following me?”

I didn’t know honestly. Was it because of my sense of duty towards her as a friend of the woman I loved? Or was it because I considered her as my friend? I had a motive but I wasn’t certain which one it was. Not getting an answer she walked on and I didn’t follow her anymore.

I didn’t know why but I threw the umbrella away, feeling the cold water shower down on me. I inhaled suddenly with the freezing sensation but the terrible numbness faded and was replaced with something cool. So this is what Momoe felt in the rain. Freedom…

She was still walking on and I chased her this time. I didn’t want to be alone and I didn’t want her to be alone. I didn’t care if she got angry, in fact, it was something I was looking forward to. I beat her to her car and opened the door for her as she stood there with a indecisive expression. I smiled at her pissing her off further.

She slapped my hands off her car and got in.  “Go home, you drunk and take your umbrella.”  She shut the door and drove off.

I picked the umbrella and walked to the grave.

“Momoe is angry as ever.”   I chuckled.   “I know she misses you.”

The wind moaned as if answering my words.   “Is this what you wanted me to see?”

I got no answer. I placed the umbrella over the grave and left a kiss on the stone.   “Sleep well, Ai.”

I went home and for the first night after that day, I slept without nightmares.

* * *

Momoe

Imai

Yuta


	3. Three

# Atsushi:

I was tired from last night. I couldn’t sleep fearing that he would try something more devastating than trying to kill himself. I have heard of the undead trying to kill others but it never happened to any of my assignments. But I feared it anyway.

I found Yoshiki trying to open the diary in the room when I brought water for him. He was still startled by my presence. He apologised briefly and drank the water.

I looked at the diary and remembered some of Imai’s words. His recent acquaintances were indifferent to his death. Why?

“Yoshiki?”   I softly asked. He looked at me doe-eyed. I never realised his eyes were so big despite him being Japanese.   “Um…did you have any friends?”

“No.”   He said looking down.

“Never?”   I asked. His expression told me that he realised something when I asked that. He seemed slightly guilty for lying to me.

“I…I knew some people but…they were not friends.”   Yoshiki refused to face me.

“I never had any good friends either.”   I said, snickering a little but he looked at me all of a sudden, his eyes wider than before.

“What about Mister Hidehiko and Miss Momoe?” 

To be honest, his tone and his expression reminded me of an innocent child. It made me feel…responsible.

“They are a pain in the ass.”   I said. And for a moment I thought a saw a smile which soon faded away behind hesitation and guilt. I pursed my lips into a smile.   “I’ll be off to work. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll bring some clothes too.”   I did not mention the incident and went to the door.

“Mister Sakurai?”

I turned and he looked at his diary.   “I had a friend. Her name was Kumi…I lived with her once but…”   Yoshiki looked in pain recalling the memories.

I went to him and patted his head. He looked at me, not understanding the gesture. I assured him.   “You don’t have to force yourself. I’ll only hear you when you want me to hear you.”

Yoshiki blinked few times, not wanting to cry. He inhaled and nodded. I beamed again and left my apartment.

 

I went to the office early but I wasn’t the only early bird. I heard two people sneezing. Momoe and Hide were both surrounded by tissues.

“Achoo!”   Hide sneezed again which startled me but I ended up laughing. Hide sniffed and looked at me.   “Don’t laugh. I’m dying here. Achoo!”

“What happened to you?”   I got coffee for Hide and Momoe.

“Ask her. Aphoo!”  

I looked at Momoe who was rubbing her nose.  “Who told you to throw the umbrella away?”

“Were you two out together, last night?”   That was my only guess since it was raining last night.

Momoe refused to answer and Hide rubbed his forehead. I only shook my head.   “You two…”

Imai and Yuta arrived at the office and were startled by the sound of sneezes and blowing noses. Anii arrived at last.

“This is why I prefer dead people. They aren’t contagious.”   Anii snickered. Although his job is at the morgue with the dead bodies, identifying both the normal and the undead, he was also the second in charge of this small department. We had no formal chief yet. Anii found the leadership loathsome. He preferred being with the dead than the living. It was no wonder that he had no wife at his age of 34. Imai took out some new files with the new information he acquired on Yoshiki.

“I contacted some of the parents of his students. Some of them told me that Yoshiki was scared for the past few months because of a stalker.”

That was a new information. Why did he not mention it? If I didn’t remember the perpetrator but the stalker, he would have been my first guess.

“And?”   Anii asked.

“He is already in custody but he is denying that he rapied him. He said that he had confronted Yoshiki on the day of his death but he went to a bar afterwards. He never followed him home.”

“How did the custodians find him?”   Momoe asked.

“He came forward himself. He was a lovesick fool, apparently.”  Imai answered.   “His words were disturbing but genuine enough. Want to look more into it?”   Imai looked at me. I knew why he did. My expression was easy for him to read.

“I want to meet Kumi…his friend.”   I said instead. The stalker, for some reason, was the last thing on my mind.

“Kumi Koda?”  Yuta mentioned the full name.   “We can arrange a meeting today, if you want. But…shouldn’t the stalker be the first priority?”   He questioned and for good reason.

“Yoshiki mentioned her name today. I believe she has something to tell us.”   I reasoned.

“Hmm. Well, he used to live with her but moved out after an argument. Miss Koda said something about him trying to steal her boyfriend.”   Yuta shared the information just to give me a ground. I just took her address and left.

The clouds grumbled, warning me of the oncoming rain. Great…

I drove to the address which was situated in a quiet area. The rain was not too far behind. I knocked on the door hastily fearing that it would rain on me. Fortunately, Miss Koda opened and gave me a questioning look. She was a good looking lady in her mid-20s.

“Yes?”

“Hello, I’m Atsushi Sakurai and I’m here for Yoshiki Hayashi’s case. I’d like to ask some questions.”  I glanced at the sky, hoping not to get soaked.

“I already answered all the questions.”   She was sceptic.

“Yes but I’d like to confirm some things.”   I finally asked.   “May I come in?”

Kumi Koda nodded and let me in. She asked me if I wanted any drinks and I agreed on coffee. I looked around the house and saw pictures of her and her family. There were some pictures of her friends but not Yoshiki. Miss Koda handed me the coffee and asked me to sit.

“Yes, what would you like to know?”

“How long have you known Mister Yoshiki?”   I asked.

“Three years. We met at the university through a group project. He was my partner.”   Miss Koda answered bluntly.

“Was he living with his family at that time?”

“No, he was out long before that. I never asked him why. I wasn’t interested.”   She almost rolled her eyes uncaringly.

“When did he move in with you?”

“A year ago.”

“When did he leave?”

“Three months later.”

I recorded it all with her permission. I knew this was the point where she might get agitated. So I warned her beforehand.   “Now, I’d like to ask some personal questions. I believe it might help us with the investigation. I heard that he was having some stalker issues. Can you tell anything about it?”

“Yeah. He said some guy was following him so he had to take a detour every time he saw him. That’s why he often came home late.”   She sipped her coffee.

“Did he ever tell you that he might be in danger?”

Miss Koda shrugged.   “He wasn’t the type to share his feelings. He just answered me once when I asked him why he came home so late.”

“And did you offer anything?”

“Like?”   She raised an eyebrow.

“Advices…”   I was direct.

“I didn’t bother. I was too busy.”

I nodded and continued.   “Can you tell me something about Mister Yoshiki?”

“Well…he was quiet and reserved but I assumed he was gay so I let him cohabit with me. That’s all I can tell you.”

And this is where I decided to poke the sleeping bear.   “Can you tell me why he left after few months of moving in? Was there anything going on?”

She gazed at me as if looking through my soul. She answered.   “Yes, I saw him and my boyfriend together and I already told the police about it.”

“Doing what exactly?”

“I saw them kissing.”

“Can you tell me the exact position?”

“Excuse me?”   Miss Koda did not expect that question but it was time I was blunt with her.

“The exact position like where his hands were and your boyfriend’s hands were.”

“Ex.”   She corrected.   “And how is this relevant?”

“Just answer the question, miss.”

“Um…”   She became nervous but annoyed at the same time. She found me intimidating which was my intention.   “Yoshiki’s hands were on his face around the eyes and his were grabbing Yoshiki’s wrists.”

“Was he moaning?”   I asked her directly which made her uncomfortable.

“G-growling…like…”

“What was Yoshiki’s reaction when you came in?”  I cut her and she took time to get over the interruption.

“He pushed him away and he was…almost crying.”   Yes…this was my intention, to make her recall the true incident.

“And what did you do?”

“I kicked him out of the house, right there and then.”   She hastily answered.

“And your boyfriend?”

“Why…why is that necessary?”

“I’m trying to find out anything related to this case and that includes motive. So please, answer my question.”

“I broke up with him.”

“Hmm…”   I wrote everything down and left my seat.   “Thank you for your time and the coffee.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”   I answered. She stood up and wiped her forehead. I knew that she wasn’t expecting it to end like this. My questions were nothing like the ones she could easily answer. It wasn’t as simple as putting blame on Yoshiki.

“Wait.”  She said and I turned to her. She looked flustered.

“Yes, Miss Koda?”

“He…he was nothing but a whore.”  She clenched her teeth.   “He never disclosed that he was gay, otherwise I never would have introduced my ex. I’m sure that he wasn’t raped. He just had some rough sex and killed himself for his pathetic life. I mean…my boyfriend wasn’t the first one he tried to seduce.”

I tried not to show any emotion. I asked plainly.   “Who else did he try to seduce?”

“His cousin. He told me once about him and I immediately figured out that he was kicked out his uncle’s house because he tried to seduce his cousin.”

I blinked and smiled.   “Thank you for that information. I hope you have a good day.”

I left her house, not caring about the rain soaking me. I felt lighter as Miss Koda felt heavier. I could tell from the look she had. Guilt, denial and arrogance. She was never going to forgive herself.

I returned to office and continued working on other small cases. Some of the Witnesses of other countries contacted us for help to investigate their assignments. This was how this job was. There was nothing fixed. I was content with the information I found from Koda and it was going to help us open the diary.

Work ended at midnight and we parted ways as usual. I managed to buy some clothes for him. When I arrived home, I found Keiko waiting near my door.

“Keiko?”   I was surprised to see her up so late and waiting for me.

“Acchan.”   I still didn’t like it.   “You are late.”

“Um…I’m always late.”   I said.   “Do you need something?”

“No, I was just worried about you.”   She shrugged. I wonder why she would be worried about me.

“Why?”

“You are not taking care of yourself. You should take a break from work.”

I nervously smiled.  “Thank you for thinking well of me but…I am fine.”

“No, you are not.”   Keiko sighed.   “It’s been a year and you haven’t been fine since then.”

I felt slightly annoyed when she mentioned it. She moved into this apartment during that inauspicious time and hence she knew about it. I just didn’t understand why she made my problem hers. She was not like Hide or Momoe. I barely knew Keiko and yet she made it seem like she had the right to check on me.

“Thank you for your concern, Keiko. I should go to bed. Good night.”  I didn’t wait for her to answer me and closed the door. The dining room was dark. Perhaps, he was already sleeping. I was about to go to my room but I heard whimpers coming from his. Was he in pain? Cannot be. The undead cannot feel physical pain. I opened the door slightly and saw him whimpering in his sleep.

Nightmare…

The undead often suffered from deadly nightmares. I even had the chance to know what they saw but when I did, I never wanted to hear it again. It was the worst of the worst.

I slowly tiptoed to the bed and quietly sat down. Yoshiki was having trouble breathing and he clutched the blanket. If he was alive, he would be in a cold sweat. Should I wake him to save him from the troubling visions?

He cried out as his eyes shot open. I held his shoulders, calling out.  “Yoshiki!”

He looked around, trying to orient himself but he became scared because of the dark. He almost pushed me off the bed but I held him, knowing why he was troubled. He must still believe that it was his nightmare.  “Yoshiki, it’s me. It’s okay, its only me.”

He breathed heavily and clutched my arms. I said again.   “It’s me…”

He started crying silently unable to say anything. His nightmare must be really troubling for him to cry like this.

I wiped the tears off his cheeks when our eyes finally met. His hair was in a messy tangle and his clothes dishevelled. His eyes were almost…something one could get lost into. This was what Kumi Koda called seduction.

Is it possible to be seduced by a dead person? I never heard of such a case.

Yoshiki let go of my arm and I slowly freed him. I gave him a glass of water and he drank it. He avoided looking at me when he returned the glass. I smiled nervously, understanding his embarrassment at this situation. He didn’t want me to see him in this moment. In this moment of his vulnerability.

“I bought you some clothes. I’ll let you be.”   I handed him the bag and left my seat.   “Good night.”

And I slowly closed the door. I returned to my room and felt the sudden relief. His eyes almost captured me. They were pulling me to him. This was not normal. This was not okay.

I looked at the picture on the wall. Yoshiki was wearing the dress she once wore. I felt helpless, something I had never felt in my previous assignments. Was this my breaking point? I have heard that a lot of employees like me quit unable to deal with the dead. Will I quit?

I didn’t want to. It brought me closer to her. To Ai.

I lay down and could hardly keep my eyes open.

…

_“Acchan…”   She held his hand weakly and laid her head on his shoulder. She held Hide with the other hand. Her breath was slipping away.   “Hide…”_

_“We are here.”   Atsushi whispered._

_“We’ll be here till the end.”   Hide said._

_“Where is Momoe?”  She asked. She wanted to see her before she passed on._

_“She’ll be here. She won’t let you leave without saying goodbye.”_

_Atsushi and Hide lied. They knew that Momoe refused to say goodbye to her. She was too stubborn to deal with it. She was outside, not wanting them to see her._

_“That’s fine then…”  She huffed.   “If I have all three of you, I’d have no regrets.”_

_The men held her to comfort her. They soon realised that her eyes had closed and her last breath passed her lips. Atsushi and Hide pretended that she merely slept. She merely slept. She would wake again._

_But she never did._

_…_

# Hidehiko:

I felt my brain exploding with every sneeze. Of course, this was not the first time I had a common cold. I was healthier than most and would be okay within a day or two. What about Momoe? Even though she was physically strong, the common cold was something that she despised as her worst enemy. It was stronger than any foe she ever faced. Last time it took her two weeks to get recover.

I laughed to myself recalling that moment. It was raining too. Ai was trying to get me to soak with her in the rain but I refused. Momoe, however, went out with her despite knowing that she would be bedridden. And she was.

Tissues were all around her when we visited her. Ai and Acchan were making her something in the kitchen while I remained in the room. I asked her that time.

“ _Why do you spoil her?”_

She didn’t answer me, but the look she gave me almost told me something that I can never figure out. What was she trying to tell me?

Should I ask her?

I didn’t know why I did what I did. I found myself near Momoe’s house in the middle of the night. I knew she would not invite me in and would probably set the hounds on me. And yet, I was near the door, my hand raised to knock.

And I knocked on danger’s door.

As I expected, she stared me down when she saw me at this time of the night. The rain outside got heavier. She greeted me with a curse.   “What the fuck are you doing here in the middle of the night?”   Her clogged nose clouded her voice. She was having trouble breathing.

“I was worried about you.” 

She frowned, not buying my truth. She never believed me and I never minded. I insisted.   “Can I come in?”

I expected her to refuse but she opened the door wider for me.   “Come in.”   I was surprised but I didn’t want to push my luck. I entered her perfectly clean home. It was grey and white and all the furniture was plain and clean. It was how she liked it. Ai, on the other hand, always wanted to renovate her house to something a bit more colourful.

I went into the kitchen to make her something noticing all the medicines scattered on the table with tissues. She was having trouble sleeping too then. She cursed me.

“The fuck, are you doing?”

“Making you something so you can sleep.”   I took out all the things I needed.

“Get out of my kitchen, Hoshino.”   Momoe never addressed me by my first name. She never even called me Hidehiko. It was always Hoshino.

“Trust me on this. You’ll be able to sleep afterwards.”   I assured her and continued my cooking. I always used this method for curing my cold. I even taught Ai to make the homemade medicine. Momoe was noticing the ingredients I was using. She recognised them.

“Did Ai make it for you before?”   I asked and she nodded curtly.   “I taught her.”   I smiled hoping to gain some approval. But she only gaped uncaringly. I smirked to myself and put the medicine before her.   “Drink.”

Her face scrunched, not liking the strong smell. But she took the bowl and gulped the medicine down. She coughed badly, trying to get rid of the tightness in her chest.

“You’ll feel fine in no time.”

She left her chair and went to her room but she came out again with extra pillows and blanket. I stood up.   “What are these for?”

“To eat.”  She handed me the soft pillows and went to her room. She shut the door as I realised that the question was stupid. Of course, she was asking me to stay the night and the guest room was right beside me. I was surprised that she didn’t send me away in the middle of the rainy night.

I went to the room and laid myself on the bed.

This wasn’t a bad night after all.

* * *


	4. Four

# Atsushi:

I woke rather earlier than usual. Knowing the amount of time I had, I took comfort in cooking for myself. Momoe’s batch of chicken ran out. Perhaps I should ask her to cook for me. Momoe…I got so used to her cooking that I craved for it.

Yoshiki came out of his room and was startled to see me but he hoped that it wasn't obvious. So that’s how he made his routine. He must have planned to get his glass of water early when I was not awake. He wore the clothes I bought him and he looked quite good in it.

“I’m sorry, I must have scared you.”   I grinned.   “Do you need a glass of water?”

He nodded and I gave him one. He drank it and returned the glass to me. He was about to return to the room when I called him.   “Yoshiki?”

He turned back and I said.   “You can watch TV, if you want. I mean…it’s mostly unused since I am rarely at home.”

He didn’t know whether to take my offer or to refuse. I didn’t insist. I was about to cut my vegetables when Yoshiki startled me.   “Don’t use that!”

I stopped, wondering why he would jump up like that. He looked down and murmured.   “It might be contaminated…”

I looked at the knife and recalled. It was the knife he used to cut his wrists. I almost smiled to myself, thankful for his concern.   “Thank you. I’ll throw it away.”   I immediately pushed it in the bin and took another knife. As I continued chopping I heard him making a humming sound. I looked at him.   “What’s the matter?”

“I…can I help you?”   he asked which struck me. He was offering me help. He added hastily.   “I won’t touch the food, I’ll even wear gloves to prevent any contamination. I just…”

Oh the poor thing must have been so bored. I offered him a smile and agreed. I handed him some gloves and he took over cutting the vegetables. I was awed how he swiftly he cut. I asked him.   “Did you cook a lot?”

“I…I cooked for myself mostly and sometimes others.”

“Who taught you to cook?”   I asked without feeling nervous.

“My aunt.”   He replied softly.   “She…taught me how to do most of the housework.”

When he said ‘taught’ I assumed ‘made’ or ‘forced’. He was a feeble looking man which made it easier for the woman to enslave him.

“You learned well.”   I said.  

“She was a good teacher.”   Yoshiki said and put the chopped vegetables in the pan.

“I never learned to cook despite living with a woman most of my life.”   I chuckled.   “I can cook but it’s horrible. She could never eat it.”

“She…is she the woman in the picture?”   He asked me. I nodded.

“My sister, Ai.”   I replied. I saw him repeating her name silently. He must have liked it. We were done with most of the preparation now all I needed to do was to cook it. Yoshiki decided to stand aside while I cooked. He was a really quiet person. I appreciated the silence but I liked to talk too. I wish he would talk to me.

“Um…”  And my prayers were answered. He tried to say something and I looked at him, encouraging him to go on.   “What…what happened to her?”

I swear, I felt my heart drop. The one time he decided to talk, he decided to ask about my sister. I tried not to show it though. I was glad that he wished to know about me. I smiled.   “She died of cancer.”

This was the one time he decided not to say sorry. I guess he knew that there was no point. I chuckled and said.   “Ai wasn’t sad though. She lived her life happily as best she could. She had Hide, Momoe and me so…I hope that she left without regrets.”

Yoshiki licked his lips nervously, wanting to know more.   “Can I…can I ask about your parents?”

“You can.”  I nodded.   “They passed away when I was 18, leaving my sister to me. It was tough but I managed to raise her with Hide’s and Momoe’s help.”

Yoshiki looked down and made a humming sound. He said.   “Mister Hidehiko…your friend…I saw something in Mister Hidehiko’s eyes…when he saw the clothes I was wearing before. He…He loved her.”

I was actually stunned with his correct assumption. I nodded and smiled widely.   “Yes, they were engaged and planning to marry.”

Yoshiki gulped.   “Then…what of Miss Momoe?”

I looked at him.   “Momoe?”   I turned the stove off.   “She was her best friend.”

"Best friends?"  Yoshiki became nervous but he said.   “That cannot be. I saw the same look in her eyes.”

It hit me. The words actually hit me. I never realised. I could never guess. How did he see? How could he see what I never could? Did Ai notice? Did Hide know? Momoe’s hidden feelings for my sister were never confessed. Yoshiki read my face and apologised.

“I shouldn’t have pried…”   he said.   “I’m sorry.”   He tried to return to the room but I rushed to him and held his arm.

“Yoshiki…”   I was careful with my hold. I didn’t want to scare him. He didn’t look at me though.   “Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry for something you never did. I believe no one but you. I don’t even believe the things people are saying about you.”

He finally looked at me, surprised that I knew about Kumi Koda. His eyes glistened and he looked away. I pushed on.   “It’s unfair that you never got to tell your side. I will help you but…you need to help me.”

He exhaled, trying not to cry. I asked again.   “Won’t you help me?”

He quickly wiped the tears away before they fell and sniffed and looked away.   “I can’t.”

I encouraged him.  “You can, all you need is a little help.”

He refused though. He refused to believe me.  “You…you don’t understand. I am a man…and I can't…”

“Being a man does not mean that you can't lean on others.”  I cut him off. I wanted him to know that someone cared about him, that someone noticed him as he noticed others. He needed to feel that people can care about him. I came close to him.   “You can lean on me.”

My heart sped up when I said that. I had the urge to embrace him but knowing that it would give him the wrong message, I refrained. I let go of his arm, realising that he didn’t trust me. Men broke his trust; why would I be any different?

Yoshiki walked away to the room and slowly closed the door.

I just left the food and left the apartment. I wasn’t feeling hungry anymore. I went to the office with a grumbling stomach and met Hide and Momoe at the entrance. They both looked better. My stomach grumbled again.

“This is what happens when I don’t come to your house.”   Momoe took out her lunchbox and handed it to me.   “Eat it.”

“But Momoe…”   She shushed me up and went ahead of me. I kept my gaze on her walking figure. Hide pulled me back to earth.

“You okay?”

Was I okay? I found out today that Momoe was in love with my sister. How could I be okay knowing now that I was never there for my friend? I opened the box and took out a huge chunk of her lunch, startling Hide.

“Acchan…what’s the matter?”   Hide asked me and I shook my head indicating that I was fine. I finished the lunch in the morning and washed the box before returning it to Momoe. The others arrived and before they could start, I spoke up.  

“I want to see Yoshiki’s uncle and aunt. Can you arrange a meeting today?”  I asked Yuta who nodded. He didn’t take long to arrange everything and handed me the address. I wondered whether I should go alone. I didn’t want to but I felt that I should be bearing whatever secrets they bore alone. I gave Momoe one last glance and left.

I found myself near the luxurious looking house. I could hardly imagine that Yoshiki’s uncle managed to accumulate so much wealth while his brother threw it all away. I went to their door and was answered very quickly and politely by the lady.

“Please come in.”  She led me to the couch and I noticed all the pictures. I saw the father and their son. He was a good looking fellow, about my age.

“Is that your son?”  I asked, smiling at her.

“Yes, Sugizo.”   She was proud to answer.

“Is he home?”

“No, he has moved out. He visits though.”   She served drinks and sat opposite me.   “So, you are here to ask about Yoshiki.”  Her tone deepened slightly.

“Yes, about his family and his lifestyle while he lived here.”

“Well, my good for nothing brother in law was a gambler. We tried to help him reform many times but he gambled everything away. The poor mother had to support herself and the kid with various odd jobs. She wasn’t particularly educated, you know.”   She said.   “We offered help but she refused many times. We asked her to let us care for the boy but she wouldn’t let us touch him. She just hated my husband because her husband is my husband’s brother. But they are not at all alike.”   She defended her husband.

“Then what happened?”

“Then his mother died. Poor woman was sick. So the boy was left alone once again. We took him in happily.”   She emphasized her reaction to the incident.

“Tell me more about him, please.”

“Yoshiki was sweet looking. Too sweet to be a boy. He was so pretty that many boys thought he was a girl. A lot of them pestered him but Sugizo took care of him whenever he came home from dorm.”   She said with an almost smile.

“He used to live away?”   I asked.

“Yes, we sent him to study for his bright future.”  She answered.

“What about Yoshiki’s education?”  I asked her.

“Well, due to the harassment he was facing, he quit going to school and he was home-schooled by me but he sat for preschool exams.”    She smiled brightly while I suspected how the home-schooling went.

I recorded everything with her permission.   “He left home at 16.”  I mentioned.

“Yes, he said he wanted to live his own life and not burden us anymore. We couldn’t stop him. But poor Sugizo was torn apart. He loved his brother but we had to let him go.”    This is where I was sceptic.

“Did he contact you after leaving?”

“We hoped that he would but he never did. Later we heard that he got into some bad company. He forgot us and our kindness so we never bothered him again.”   She sounded a little hurt.

“Another question, what was he like when he lived with you?”

“He was quiet. He never liked to go outside because he was so shy but he was a sweet kid. Poor thing to have had to suffer.”   Her tone, however, said otherwise.   “Is it true that a man did this to him?”

I nodded. The woman nodded showing a pitiful expression. “Well…I suspected something like that about him.”

I was interested now.   “Can you tell me more about it?”

“Uh…it’s not really nice to speak ill of the dead but…?”

“Please, anything to help us with the investigation.”

I smiled perfectly, encouraging her to spout her opinion.   “Yoshiki…I once saw him close to Sugizo…too close, when Sugizo was comforting Yoshiki after some kids teased him.”

“Oh my.”   I gasped.   “What did you do?”

“I had to send Sugizo back to his dorms earlier and my husband was a little uncomfortable but I had a heart to heart conversation with him.”

I imagined the ‘heart-to-heart’ conversation was an emotional one. I smiled and asked the real question.   “How close were they?”

“Uh…very close…like nose to nose…almost kissing.”   She blushed.

“Did you notice their hands?”

“I think…Sugizo’s hands were on his waist and Yoshiki’s hands were on Sugizo’s chest…like squished on his chest.”

“Were they any sounds?”

The lady tried to remember.   “Yoshiki was…um…whispering harshly and Sugizo…I don’t remember.”

“What about their expressions? Like whose eyes were wide, something like that?”

The lady became very uncomfortable. She drank her water and answered.   “Yoshiki's eyes were wide.”

“Okay.”   I turned my recorder off and stood up.   “That’s it.”

“That’s it?”  she stood up.

“Yes, thank you for your time and patience. If it’s possible I would like to meet your son someday. He seems like a good lad.”

“He is…um…before you leave…Can I share a thought?”

“Please, by all means.”   I agreed.

“I think…there was no rape. I mean…a man cannot be raped right?”  she chuckled nervously.   “I think that Yoshiki could not get over Sugizo’s rejection. That’s why he left home and mixed with those…those men and…ended his life over it. I pity the poor soul and I hope he enters heaven despite his choices.”

I just let her words go into one ear and out the other. Her opinion did not matter to me. I thanked her once again and took my leave, sparing the lady some doubts about the dead one. No…she didn’t doubt anything, she lied blatantly to defend her son from the truth. I hoped to meet this man someday.

After I returned to the office, I returned to the usual work. I was obliged to keep my interviews until I cracked the full case. Hide apparently bought Momoe’s lunch. I thought of sharing the secret with Hide. Should he know that he has befriended his rival? Was Momoe ever a rival in the first place? Perhaps not…

We parted ways and Momoe assured me that she would visit in the morning.

I realised that I wouldn’t have been able to move on without her support. As I drove home, I thought about the days after her passing. Momoe visited my place every day, cooking for me, making sure I ate. I knew that she visited Hide too and made sure that he ate as well. She travelled back and forth the whole day, uncaring of her health while we moped. It wasn’t until we noticed that she didn’t visit anymore that we visited her. She was sick after all the work and since that day, we decided to take care of her. We owed her that much after all she did for us.

But now that I know about her, I wonder what she felt when she visited Hide. Did she hate it? Did she despise the idea of visiting the man who took her only loved one away? I wouldn’t blame her if she did.

 I returned home and fortunately, Keiko was not waiting. It was too late anyway. I entered the dark apartment. I saw that the lights in Ai’s room were on. He must be reading something. I decided to check on him. I knocked and I could bet that he jumped up. He answered softly and I entered with a weak smile.   “How are you feeling?”

He was really reading a book.   “I’m…getting by.”  He stood up.   “Um…did you eat?”

I shook my head. I was just about to make myself a snack when Yoshiki suddenly walked to me.   “I…I made you dinner. You can eat.”   He hastily added.   “I put on my gloves and even covered my face so I wouldn’t breath on your food and contaminate it.”

He looked down again. I smiled to myself, seeing that the morning was forgotten. He must have known that I left on an empty stomach.   “Thank you.”   I said and he looked up. I felt that we were close enough for me to ask.   “Will you join me? I don’t want to eat alone.”  

Yoshiki didn’t expect the request but he nodded. He left the book and joined me at the table. He had made enough for me to have breakfast. He apologised in advance.   “I can't tell the taste of the food so…it might not be good.”

I ate anyway and I had to be honest with him.   “You are really good.”

Yoshiki didn’t believe me though.   “You don’t have to make me feel better.”

“No, I swear. This is as good as Ai’s.”   I was no longer uncomfortable mentioning her casually.

“I’m glad you like it…”  He fumbled with his fingers on the table.   “My aunt was a very good cook.”

I smiled. I didn’t share my meeting with her with him. I didn’t want to upset him. I deviated the conversation.   “We need to buy you some more clothes. Would you like to go shopping?”

Yoshiki hesitated.   “I don’t know…I mean…won’t people notice? I am already…dead.”

“We can always use a mask.”  I suggested but Yoshiki almost snickered. However, something stopped him as if smiling was a crime.   “Why do you stop yourself?”

He looked at me, not knowing what I meant. I clarified.   “You are free to smile.”   Yoshiki looked down and remained quiet. I sighed with a smile.   “Yoshiki.”

“Yes?”

“Tell me about your mother?”

Yoshiki couldn’t see the reason for my wanting to know about his mother but he couldn't refuse the request. He looked at the table and answered.   “She was…beautiful and kind, but funny at times.”   He inhaled.   “She was sick most of the time but she acted like it was nothing. She would go out and work all day for our food and when she returned, she gave me the most wonderful smile.”   He almost smiled.   “I remember, one day she was walking out when she slipped on the ice and fell on her bottom. I panicked and rushed to help her but she started laughing crazily. She was…weird.”   Yoshiki smiled to himself forgetting my presence. He looked at me.  “What was your sister like?”

“Ai?”  I asked and he nodded.   “Well…I spoiled her a lot but she became responsible for me when our parents passed away. She…became my second mother.”   I delved into the memories.   “She made sure I ate, slept and worked out. She never liked me fat so she made me join the gym so I would still be her handsome brother. I think…she liked showing me off.”   I almost laughed.

“She sounds fun.”   Yoshiki said.   “She made you forget about your troubles.”

He was correct. Ai managed to make me shrug off my tensions. I was just surprised that Yoshiki guessed it so well. I managed to give him a wide smile and continued eating. I hoped he would continue the conversation. He quietly added.   “I…I’d like to go for shopping.”

I almost looked at him wide-eyed. I felt a sudden surge of happiness. Yoshiki agreed to go shopping with me. I almost squeaked.   “We can go out early tomorrow morning after breakfast; I can tell Momoe not to visit then. We will get everything you need and…”   I suddenly stopped because of the way he looked at me. He was surprised to see my excitement. He added quietly.

“I don’t think we need anything more than clothes. After all, I won’t be living forever.”

I realised then that I had forgotten about Yoshiki’s condition. I was treating him like a living person. He was dead…

But I wasn’t going to let that stop me.   “You are alive as long as you are here.”   I smiled anyway which eased him. I wasn’t going to make things anymore uncomfortable for him. I was going to treat him like a human being. I will care for him as long as he is with me. I finished eating and packed some leftovers for tomorrow. I threw the dishes in the washer and prepared for bed. Walking him to the door, I asked.   “Will you be reading all night?”

He shook his head.   “I can hardly keep my eyes open.”

I exhaled, relieved.   “Good night.”

He bid me good night and went to the room. He slowly closed the door, leaving me a last shy glance. I stood gazing at the door, expecting god knows what. I smiled to myself and returned to my room. I threw myself on the bed, not feeling so tired. I felt…happy. Yoshiki was good company and I was looking forward to tomorrow.

…

_“Acchan.”_

_This time Atsushi smiled at her, not fearing any consequences.   “Yes.”_

_“You look happy.”_

_“I am.”   He answered._

_“Care to tell me?”_

_“Let’s say that I have found a new meaning.”_

_Ai smiled too.   “Oh dear, my brother seems to be in love.”_

_“What?”_

_And everything snapped to reality._

_…_

# Hidehiko:

When we parted ways after work, I walked to Momoe. She was just getting in her car but she stopped when she saw me. I gave her a grin.  “Are you feeling better?”

“You saw me this morning, didn’t you?”   Her eyes bored into me.   “Stop asking the obvious.”

“You are feeling better then.”  I was relieved.   “The medicine worked.”

Momoe blinked a few times, but just barely, and muttered.   “Go home…idiot.”   She got in her car and drove off. I sighed but chuckled to myself. Momoe was an iron maiden. She didn’t like it when anyone offered anything to her, especially when the offer came from me. I don’t blame her, though. I did steal her best-friend away from her. Ai and I noticed the day we announced us dating and got engaged. Momoe smiled that day but only at Ai and Acchan. She didn’t even look at me.

“Well, Ai. Your friend is still as troublesome as ever. But I am trying my best.” That was my goodnight message to her, up in the heaven.

* * *


	5. Five

#  Atsushi:

I gasped awake from my sleep and gaped at the ceiling. I did not know the reason for my sudden reaction to the dream. I did not want to recall the words she said.

_“Oh dear, my brother seems to be in….”_

No. I refuse to accept that. It is not normal. The feeling itself is an abomination. I left my bed and freshened up. When I went to the dining room, I met Yoshiki who was helping himself with a glass of water.

“Oh…”  He murmured.  “Morning.”

“Good morning.”  I greeted back, forgetting my problems for the moment. I remembered that I had to take him to shopping.   “Are you ready to go?”

“Will you not have breakfast?”   He asked me. He didn’t want me to leave empty stomach again. I smiled and answered.

“I’ll have it on the way.”   I got my keys and my coat but Yoshiki didn’t move. I asked him.   “You okay?”

“I was…I was wondering.”   He looked down.   “My skin…it is too discoloured. Even if I wear a mask, won’t it be…odd?”

He was right. His colour was far too gone. The greyish blue tint would be odd. His lips had no colour too. But an idea snapped in. I took his hand.   “Follow me.”

“Where to?”

“To Ai’s room.”

He came along in Ai’s room as I looked around the dressing table. He asked.   “What are you looking for?”

I opened the drawers and took out some face foundations and lipsticks. He held it before him as he looked at me, surprised.   “Makeup?”

I shrugged.   “Ai used a lot of it.”

“But…it’s unorthodox.”   He said shyly. It almost made me laugh but I pushed him on the bed to sit.

“I’ll do it for you. I have experience doing it for my sister.”   I took a chair and sat before him.   “Push your hair back.”

Yoshiki complied and tied his long curly hair. He looked at me as it took the liquid out and applied slowly on his skin. It added a beautiful tint to his face. I could feel him getting nervous and he stopped breathing. It made me stop breathing too. I was never too close to Yoshiki before…not this close. However, I had to admit, his face was as beautiful as a woman. He was far more beautiful than my next door neighbour.

His face was done shortly but to me, it seemed like eternity. I took out the lipstick and looked at him.   “It’s not dark. It will add natural colour to your lips.”

Yoshiki nodded and I applied the light orange colour to his lips. It applied it slowly so I wouldn’t smudge it. Yoshiki didn’t look at me and my eyes were on his lips. I couldn’t tell about him but this kind of gestures increased my heartbeat. I was becoming nervous.

“Oops.”   I backed away as the lipstick was smudged on the side of his lips.   “Let me fix that.”

I rubbed it off with my thumb and fixed it. But my fingers refused to move from his mouth. I almost stopped there and remained gazing at his lips.

“Is it ruined?”

It startled me. I hastily nodded and backed away.  “I’m done.”   Yoshiki looked in the mirror and seemed impressed.   “I look…”

“Alive?”   I finished and he nodded. He put a wide smile. It was time to go. He put on a mask so no one would recognise him and we went out. Yoshiki was silent in the car but unlike that night, he was calm and almost happy. He looked outside the window observing the lives of others. He especially observed the children. He must be attached to them due to his career as a kindergarten teacher. However, the silence was overwhelming. I felt like striking a conversation with him, trying to get to know him.

“Yoshiki?”

“Yes?”  he looked at me.

“I heard that you were a private tutor too. You taught music.”

“Yes.”

 “To be honest, I never took you for the music lover type.”

“I never figured out too.”  Yoshiki’s eyes squinted beneath the mask. I assumed that he smiled.   “My mother influenced me with her love for music. If we had enough money and if she lived longer then I would have pursued a musical career.”

“Or modelling.”  I argued with a chuckle. He was good looking enough to pursue a career in the film industry. Yoshiki snickered too and added.

“You could have pursued a modelling career.”

“Oh?”   I pretended.   “Am I that attractive?”

“Very.”   He honestly answered.   “All the ladies must swoon over you.”

I laughed, not wanting to opine on it. I didn’t bother telling him about my neighbour’s fascination with me. It was my good luck that she didn’t see him yet. It was fortunate that none of my assignments were women…not yet. We arrived at the mall and I quickly bought myself a snack. We headed to the clothing stores and asked him to look for some clothes but he was lost. He didn’t know what to buy. He tried not to look for something expensive for my sake. I sighed. I took his hand and scoured through the clothes for something elegant to suit his figure.

I looked for black and white because it looked good on him. I didn’t care about the price. I was paid good.

“We could…get the clothes from my apartment.”   Yoshiki murmured but I refused. It was a crime scene anyway and it would be suspicious if I went back there to get his clothes. I handed him few white blouses and jeggings.

“Go inside and try them.”

“But…”

“No buts.”   I refused to listen. I waited till he was done and came out. The clothes fit him perfectly around his body. It almost made him look like a woman. I didn’t realise walking to him and slowly taking the mask off. He looked beautiful.

“How do I look?”  He asked too casually which made me step back.

“…Dashing.”   The words came out wrong. He smiled anyway and put his mask back on. We decided to take the clothes and while walking out, I felt Yoshiki stopping. He was looking at something.   “Yoshiki?”   I walked to him and held his shoulder. He gasped and looked at me.   “What is it?”

He looked down but I followed and found a familiar figure. It was his cousin…Sugizo. He had a woman with him. Perhaps she was his girlfriend. They looked happy and in love. Yoshiki breathed in heavily, feeling uncomfortable. I didn’t mention that I knew him but I asked him.   “Would you like to go home?”

He nodded. I gave him a smile and took his home. Unlike the journey to the mall, the return journey was quiet. We entered the apartment and Yoshiki opened his mask. His expression was finally revealed to be an angry one. He was angry at Sugizo for ruining his life and now having a happy one himself. Should I mention it though? Should I comfort him?

“I’ll be off to work. You can relax now.”   I assured him and he curtly nodded. He hastily returned to his room. I took the cooked leftover as my lunchbox and went to work.

I saw Momoe and Hide already at the office. Hide was trying to talk to Momoe but she tried her best to ignore him. Her best was to snap him off with her blunt comments but Hide didn’t mind. Sometimes I felt that Hide did it on purpose just to tick her off. Should he know about Momoe? Should I tell him? Will this friendship vanish then?

The rest arrived and we received some investigative work for other assignments. Other undead rose in parts of Tokyo. We were lucky not to have these many assignments but we needed a chief soon. Anii was annoyed as usual with the tiring job. He wanted to get back to his dead friends and Yuta kept teasing him with his affection for the dead. I realised how Anii felt. Spending time with the undead gave me a sense of comfort towards the dead. Imai gave me a new file about other assignments to look stuff up to help the bigger branches and asked me about Yoshiki.

“We saw his cousin, Sugizo. He was with his girlfriend. Yoshiki was mad.”

“You and the undead went out?”  Yuta asked.

“I took him for shopping.”   I shrugged. Yuta found it very odd but to Anii, it was normal. He had heard of witnesses getting friendly with the undead. He himself was accustomed with the dead.

“Why was he mad?”   Momoe was interested in Yoshiki’s anger.

“His aunt said that Yoshiki was in love with his cousin but was rejected.”   I chose to answer the stated opinion.

“And what did he tell you?”   Hide asked.

“He didn’t say anything. He still refuses to tell me his side of the story.”   I muttered.

Momoe bitterly sniggered.   “Why would he? The whole world finds him guilty. Who can he trust with his secrets? Also, who would believe him?”

Momoe somehow got it correct. I guess she already decided who to believe. I am also sure that she already knows much about Yoshiki. She doesn’t believe the people saying things about him. Yoshiki and Momoe read each other correctly. I turned to Imai.

“Care to arrange a meeting with Sugizo?”

“Maybe not today. I can manage one tomorrow.”

“That’s fine.”  I went back to the papers but my mind remained on Yoshiki. What was he doing now? Was he sleeping? Reading or watching TV? I hope he was doing anything but thinking about his cousin. At the end of the work I asked Momoe and Hide to visit tomorrow. I was hoping he would like some company.

I arrived home but saw Keiko waiting. I tried not to sigh and greet her. She jumped to her point and asked.   “Is there someone in your home?”

I didn’t know what to say. If I lie she might say something that would make it harder for me to rebut and if I tell her the truth, she might want to meet him.   “Did you hear anything?”

“TV noises.”

I frowned. “Are you eavesdropping my apartment during my absence?”  I was surprised that she even stood close enough to my door to hear the noises.

And her face flushed to my amusement. She tried to refute the question and pointed.   “Are you keeping a cat?”

Hmm…even I couldn’t come up with that excuse. I chuckled.  “Yes, it is with Momoe at the moment. I am very tired and I have to hit the bed early. See you later, goodnight.”

I heaved and looked around. The woman was getting on my nerves. I hoped Yoshiki was awake. I was hoping to find him reading in his room and give me a smile upon my arrival. To my disappointment, he was sleeping. Perhaps, seeing his cousin happy made him unhappy. It was obvious that the man who ruined his life, is not deserving of such happiness. I wanted to see Yoshiki anyway and went to the door. But I heard him crying angrily and silently as if he was fighting something. I slightly opened the door and saw him struggling with his diary. He was trying to tear it apart.

“Yoshiki?”

He gasped and hid the diary. He hastily wiped his tears not wanting me to see. I couldn’t help myself. I rushed to him and sat in front of him. I held his shoulder to comfort him.   “Yoshiki, please you mustn’t hurt yourself over this.”

Yoshiki angrily threw the diary away and ended up crying on his palms. He was angry at everything and I knew that there was nothing that could make him feel better. I didn’t know why I wanted to comfort him so much but I pulled him to my chest and let him cry.   “I hate this! I hate it that he is happy!”

I patted his head. I actually had nothing to offer him. I wanted him to cry it out so he would suffer no more. Yoshiki grabbed my sleeves and buried his face. I never felt so angry towards anyone. The man, Sugizo, hurt Yoshiki and I wanted to kill him. I wanted to see Yoshiki laughing and smiling with me. I wanted him to be happy. I found myself kissing his head often and reducing the physical distance between us. And Yoshiki…he embraced me back more intimately than ever. His hand ran to my hair and arms as I felt his breath on my ear.

None of us said anything and I laid him on the bed slowly and lay down beside him, without letting him go. I hugged him close to make him sleep and pulled the blanket over us. I was happy that he wasn’t uncomfortable with me being so close to him. He snuggled up my chest and took my waist while I clasped him. He closed his eyes and I found myself sleeping away.

…

_She was stroking his head and hummed a comforting song. However, she stopped. He opened his eyes and asked.   “What’s wrong?”_

_“Something is coming.”  She said._

_“What is?”   He got up and looked at her.   “Is it good?”_

_She smiled and nodded at him.   “I see a heartbreak but two reunions.”_

_“Reunions? Heartbreaks? Ai, what are you talking about?”_

_“Wrong question, Acchan.”  She said.   “Answer me this, are you willing to forget the pain though?”_

_“Forget the pain?”   He asked himself.    “Perhaps. Ai, what is this about?”_

_But his sister did not answer his question. She leant and put a kiss on his eyes, causing everything to vanish._

_…_

# Hidehiko:

Acchan was right. I never learn. Despite so many cold shoulders and brushes I still end up where she would be. Momoe sighed and stood up, leaving the flower on the ground. She was about to leave but I held her hand. She quickly pulled it away and frowned at me.

“Can't we, for once, pray for her together?”

She scoffed and left my side without answering. I sighed and turned to the grave but my head ached all of a sudden. The upper lip felt a little wet. I wiped it away but saw blood on my hand.

My head was spinning and I reached out calling for Momoe.  “M-Momoe!”  I couldn’t tell what happened next but I found myself in Momoe’s arms. She called me few times and was trying to get me up. I then lost consciousness.

I found myself in my own home when I woke up. Momoe was sitting beside the bed with a bowl of water and a towel. She was…taking care of me. She stopped and gaped at me as I stared at her. I didn’t need to ask.

“You had a slight stroke. The doctor said not to worry. He assumed that it must be because of your lack of sleep.”

Lack of sleep…yes, I haven’t been able to sleep well for few nights. My constant fear of loneliness was putting strain on my mind which was why I kept seeking her company. Acchan was far too busy with the undead so I couldn’t burden him. However, I thought of Momoe as a close friend to depend on her. She wasn’t impressed. She clicked her tongue and muttered.

“Stupid Hoshino…”

I smiled however.   “Thank you.”

“Your ass.”  She cursed.   “Go back to sleep.”   She left her seat but I found myself requesting.

“Please, don’t go.”

She turned to me, glaring at me like the fires of hell. She, of course, wasn’t going to fulfil it. I was her worst enemy. However, to my surprise her eyes softened if not softened enough. She returned to her seat and muttered.   “Go to sleep.”

I shut my eyes and murmured.   “The pillows and blankets are in the cupboard. You can take them out and sleep in the guest room.”

I heard her standing up and walking. She must be taking out what she needed. Few thumps of the falling pillows and blankets and some papers. I kept a lot of papers in my wardrobe and I assumed she was picking them up to put them back.   “Leave them…I’ll fix them in the morning.”

I didn’t open my eyes but I heard no more noise except of the papers. She wasn’t going to listen to me. I opened my eyes and found Momoe staring at a letter. The envelope was on the floor which read _‘From Momoe to Ai’._

Oh no…

“Momoe…”   I struggled on the bed.

“So…this is where my letter has been…”   She clenched her teeth and glared at me.   “This is the reason for all the shenanigans.”   I expected her to come and punch me but she threw it on the floor and was about to leave. However, I hastily left my bed and chased her, wanting to explain myself. I grabbed her hand but she tried pulling it away.

“Momoe, let me explain.”

“Explain what? That you knew all along? That all these days of compassion was…mocking my feelings for her?”

“I wasn’t mocking your feelings for her. I would never dare.”   I pleaded.  

“I don’t care!”   She spat.   “All this time…I was…just pitied by the likes of you!”

“I never pitied you. Momoe, I respect you as a friend. Please…let me explain.”

“There is nothing to explain.”   She said.   “You…you stole this letter!”

“I didn’t find it, Ai did!”   I finally raised my voice and she surprisingly looked at me. I finally had the chance to explain.   “The day…when we announced us dating, Ai found the letter and I never knew about it until her last days. She gave it to me. She had me promised to keep it safe and…take care of you.”

She looked disgusted.  “Take care of me? Do I look like a child to be taken care of? I don’t need you to care for me, Hoshino. I am not someone’s duty because of other obligations!”

“I didn’t care for you as an obligation.”   I argued.   “I cared for you because I just care for you as my own friend. Being Ai’s best friend has nothing to do with it. Why can't you just believe me for once?”

“Believe you? I would never believe you even if my life depended on it!”   She pulled her hand away and left my apartment. The silence became overwhelming and I lost my footing. I fell on my knees and felt the tears on my face.

“Ai…Ai…”   I cried out, unable to tolerate this pain any longer. The heaviness was too much. How was I supposed to make her believe me? I scooted at a corner and just wanted this night to pass.

…


	6. Six

# Atsushi:

I opened my eyes and found Yoshiki’s sleeping face. His hair fell over his eyes and nose. I pushed them back his ear and my fingers slid down his cheek. Yoshiki, despite being dead, looked alive when he slept. His skin was cold but the softness remained. None of my previous assignments looked this alive. Was it possible to find an undead…this attractive? Was it possible to care this much?

I was close to his lips. I did not realise when I was trying to close the gap between our lips. He stirred lightly causing me to snap to my senses. What was I doing? I sat up on the bed and heard Yoshiki murmur. I turned and saw Yoshiki waking up. I smiled, acting as if nothing was wrong.   “Morning.”

“Good morning.”   He softly replied and sat up. He looked down bashfully and looked at me.   “Thank you.”

“For what?”  I found myself asking him.

“For staying with me last night.”   He looked away again. I found my cheeks warm and avoiding his gaze too. I nervously laughed and patted his shoulder.

“It was nothing. I…I wanted to.”    I realised the mistake a second later. Yoshiki was surprised when I said that. I tried to laugh it off again. I didn’t want him to think that I was like the men who were interested in him and thus took advantage of him. I would never take advantage of him. The door-bell interrupted my nervousness. I jumped off the bed and received the door.

“Momoe, hi.”   I let her in and she immediately went to the kitchen.   “I’ll freshen up.”

She nodded and I went to my room to clean up. I was relieved that she arrived on time. The odd feeling with Yoshiki was killing me.

After coming out, I saw Yoshiki already insisting Momoe to let him help. She agreed and he put the gloves and mask on. They were getting along and Yoshiki seemed to have taken a liking to Momoe. I was surprised that she was warming up to him too. She didn’t get too close with the previous two. The bell rang again. I received to see Hide who looked very terrible.

“Why do you look so awful?”   I asked directly.

Hide glanced at the two and murmured.   “Didn’t get enough sleep.”   He entered and greeted the two. Yoshiki responded while Momoe ignored as usual. Hide slowly walked to the two trying to strike a conversation with them. Yoshiki was happily answering him. It relieved me that he forgot about last night. But the tingling feeling in my chest remained. I tried not to look at him, feeling horrible for what I was about to do to the man when he slept in my arms.

Yoshiki was looking at Hide and Momoe. His gaze was intense. It was as if he was reading them. Did he figure something? Momoe served the food and sat beside me. She asked Yoshiki to join because he helped her cook. She was quiet though and so was Hide. They were not being their usual selves. Momoe quietly ate and left the table.

“I’ll head off early.”

“Momoe, we can go together.”   I said.

“That’s okay. I need something to catch up with. See you.”  She left and I looked at Hide. He looked very unusual. What was going on with them? Later I and Hide were ready to leave but I turned to Yoshiki.

“I might call in to check on you, so don’t be afraid to pick the phone and…”   I didn’t know what else to say. He looked so happy that I wanted to kiss his cheek wishing to leave a farewell. I ended up smiling to him and left the apartment. I looked at Hide before entering my car. He looked very lost in his thoughts.

We arrived at the office and found the others. I was already booked for an appointment with Sugizo who volunteered coming to the café near the office.

I entered the café and immediately recognised the good looking man taking his coffee. I approached him and greeted.

“Hello.”

He looked at me with an awed expression and carefully observed me. He smiled and held his hand to me and I shook it.   “I never knew detectives were this good looking.”

I never knew he was so blunt with his compliments. I smiled.  “Thank you, let us take our seats.”

He was a gentleman in person. He pulled the chair for me despite my light protests and ordered for me. I took out my recorder and asked for his permission to which he agreed. I started my questions.

“When did he move in?”

“After my aunt died. I was around 15 and was living at the dorms.”  He confidently answered. He didn’t look older than Yoshiki. He looked just as young as him.

“How was he, when you visited?”

“Quiet…almost like a girl.”   He said.   “It made me protective of him.”

I nodded and asked.   “Did he share his troubles of being bullied at school?”

He shook his head.   “He kept things to himself.”  He weakly smiled.   “Like his feelings for me.”

I forcefully smiled, not finding it relevant.   “What about after he left home? Did he contact you?”

“No…he was devastated when mother and father requested him to…rid those feelings for me.”   He looked hurt. His face tried to show that he regretted hurting Yoshiki by rejecting his feelings. I bitterly smiled and said.

“That’s it. Thank you for coming here to meet me.”    I had nothing else to know from him. His answers told me everything. All the lies behind that regretful smile of his. Sugizo looked a bit baffled though. He was sure I was going to take long interview.

“This is it?”  He asked me.   “Are you sure, I can't help you out in any other way?”

I pursed a smile.  “No. I’m afraid you cannot you help me. You do not have any other important information after his departure.”

His ego was crushed right before me. He flushed, feeling embarrassed that he had no effect on me. I observed his eyes when he stared at me. Those eyes looked like they were stripping me. Yoshiki had to face those eyes every moment of his life.

I bowed to him and was leaving without touching the drink he ordered for me. However, I felt my wrist in his hand. I slowly turned to him.   “What are you doing?”

“At least…tell me where his grave is so I can visit. The police took his body away and refused to hand it to us. We are his family, after all.”

Oh yes. The situation when the family asked for the body of the undead. We had to face a lot of those problems. Fortunately, Imai was in charge of taking care of these situations. I knew what I had to say.   “Mister Hayashi’s will have left specific instructions to the state not to hand his body to his relatives for unknown reasons. His grave is not to be made public, specially to his living relatives. Perhaps you know the reason.”

He blushed and released my hand.   “He…he was devastated that I didn’t reciprocate his feelings.”

With any other assignment, the opinion wouldn’t have mattered to me. Even few days ago, it didn’t matter to me, but now I was boiling with the lies everyone spouted. My glare was obvious and it shook him to the core. I wanted him to be scared.

“I hope the criminal is exposed soon.”   He said.

“Yes, and whole lot of other truths.”   I added.   “Good day.”

I left him there and didn’t look back. I had a feeling that Yoshiki’s torturers will return. Kumi Koda, her ex and Sugizo will return. I returned to the office when Anii gave us the news.

“Good news. Within a month or two, this department will finally have a head. Which means I will finally be able to retire from this job and return to my medical examining.”

“Back to your dead girlfriends.”   Yuta teased and the rest laughed.

“Where is he from?”  Imai asked.

“From England. He’s been transferred here upon his personal request. I had a chat with him on the phone. He seems like a cool guy. Raymond Watts is his name.”

I smiled.   “We’ll miss you, Anii.”

“Aw, you’ll see me anyway. I will call you to identify more undead.”   He laughed however the moment seemed like a déjà vu. I have this feeling that I went through this moment before. I brushed it off and returned to work. But my eyes fell on Hide who was lost in his thoughts. He was not his usual jolly self. He wasn’t even looking at the picture on his table. His eyes often fell on Momoe. What was going on between them?

I took a small break and called home to check on Yoshiki. After few rings he picked up.  “Yoshiki?”

_“Mister Sakurai.”_

“Are you doing okay?”   I softly asked.

“ _I am okay. Not bored and watching TV.”_

I smiled.   “Would you like something to spend your time?”

 _“Something?...Um…I cannot ask for food.”_  He giggled on the other line which increased the beat in my body.

“Books, clothes…cats.”   I suddenly recalled Keiko’s accusations. Maybe we can have a cat.

“ _Cats? I’ve never had one.”_ He sounded quite happy.   _“Will it be okay for me to pet one?”_

“Undead can have a pet. I’ll arrange one.”

_“Mister Sakurai, you don’t have to do that for me…I’m grateful enough.”_

“Then start calling me by my first name.”   I teased which caused silence on the other line. I heard him murmuring.

_“At-Atsushi…”_

I cannot explain how I felt when he took my first name. I felt a sense of closure and not just a plain closure but intimate. It felt more intimate than sleeping beside him last night. I chuckled and insisted buying a cat anyway. We bid each other farewell and hung up. I returned to work but my mind lingered on Yoshiki and sometimes Hide. I need to confirm whether he was okay.

Momoe was the first one to leave this time. She bid everyone goodbye except Hide. She didn’t even spare a glance and Hide’s eyes remained on her cat till it vanished. Hide turned to me and was startled by my gaze on him.   “Acchan?”

“What’s going on?”   I frowned.

“Nothing.”   He looked elsewhere but me grabbing his face shocked him. He flushed.   “A-Acchan?”

“Hide, I can see the restlessness on your face. You must tell me.”   I asked him.

He reluctantly answered.   “W-Well…I shouldn’t be the one telling you but…I feel that I’ve hurt Momoe.”

“Hurt Momoe?”   I asked.   “Hide what happened?”

“I…”   He inhaled.   “I think I stole Ai from Momoe.”

“H-Hide.”   I was baffled too. It only meant that he figured out Momoe’s feelings for my sister. Hide continued heavily.

“Ai…she knew everything.”  

And it added to the shock. Ai knew about Momoe’s feelings. Why didn’t she ever tell me? However, I was the only one who didn’t know anything, at least that’s what he knew.

“Hide…you must tell me clearly.”   I said.   “What are you talking about?”

“Momoe was getting ready to confess her feelings to Ai the day we announced ourselves but she didn’t.”  He sighed.   “Ai found the confession letter and showed me afterwards. She felt guilty for Momoe and felt that she hurt her.”

“But Ai didn’t hurt her.”  I refused to believe him.   “My sister would never do that.”

“Ai never hurt her and Momoe knows that too. It was I who hurt her for stealing her away. Now that Momoe knows that…we’ve known this all along…she thinks that I’ve been mocking her.”

I didn’t believe it.  “You haven’t mocked her, Hide. You are not the kind to hurt and mock anyone’s feelings. You were taking care of her. I would have done the same thing. She is just hurt and needs time to heal.”

Hide shook his head.   “We’ve healed over the time but she never did. She was the one who lost her twice, once to me and once to death. She had to take care of us after her passing, we never had to. I feel that…we have taken her for granted.”

Oh Hide…my dear Hide. You are in your own bubble of guilt and regret. You wished to care for her but her constant pushing is tiring you. I had to help him.

“Will you see her?”

“She will not see me.”   He said.   “She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”  I refused to believe that.   “She is a little embarrassed. Give her time.”

Hide looked at me and nodded.   “I feel that I shouldn’t burden you with these feelings. You have too much on your hands.”

“Nonsense.”   I smacked his shoulder.   “You are my friend, my brother and a part of my life. I love you, Hide and I am here for you, for both of you. Now go home and let the night pass.”

Hide left and I returned home. I found Yoshiki watching TV in the middle of the night. He turned the TV off and stood up.   “Mister Saku…”   I frowned at him before he could end his sentence.

“I mean…Atsushi.”   He corrected himself and I smiled finally.   “I made you dinner.”

“You’ve been waiting for me?”   I asked and he nodded.

“I…wanted to.”   He said and bashfully smiled.   “Please.”   He led me to the table and served me food despite my protests. He sat with me while I ate quietly. He started.

“Atsushi?”

“Yes.”

He was reluctant but said.   “I know that I shouldn’t…butt into other’s personal matter but…Mister Hidehiko and Miss Momoe…are they on bad terms?”

Even he noticed. I wasn’t uncomfortable sharing anything with him and so I told him.   “Momoe found out that Hide had knowledge of her feelings towards my sister.”

“So…she is angry at him.”   He guessed.

“She feels that he is mocking her.”   I said.

“But, he wasn’t mocking her.”   He quickly defended Hide.   “I could see it in his eyes. He cares for her and…”   He looked down which made me curious.

“Well, go on.”   I encouraged him.

“I don’t know whether I should say this…but…I saw…in his eyes…for her.”   He was really hesitant.

“What did you see?”   I looked at him.

“I saw love.”

The fork fell out of my hand as I stared at Yoshiki, uttering the words. Hide in love with Momoe…it was something even I couldn’t guess. It was something that escaped my mind.

“Atsushi?”   Yoshiki looked guilty.  “Oh, I shouldn’t have said it. Oh, god. I’m sorry.”   He almost left the table but I held his hand, pulling him down gently.

“No…don’t be sorry.”   I was calm.   “I’m just trying to...did he even figure out his feelings for her?”

“I don’t think so…he doesn’t seem to realise his own feelings.”

Oh Ai, what should I do? Should I accept that Hide’s heart has replaced you without him knowing? Or should I care about his happiness and help him realise his feelings?

“What of Momoe?”   I asked.   “Does she feel the same?”

“No…her heart still lingers on Miss Ai. She has not moved on.”

I was still holding his hand. I sought comfort from him.   “What should I do, Yoshiki? Tell me. I am lost.”

He sighed and pursed his lips.   “It can be difficult to accept it that your friend has moved on without even realising it but Miss Ai can never be replaced in his heart. It is only that…his heart is seeking comfort from another. A mother cannot replace a father and a brother cannot replace a sister. She is not replacing her…she is a similar comfort in his life now. They both are a part of him.”

I couldn’t control myself with his words. They were so pure and innocent and yet wise and mature. I cried silently and held both his hands for support. I felt weak for failing Hide and Momoe in their time of need. Yoshiki left his seat and embraced me.   “Atsushi…don’t give up. Please don’t give up like me.”   He broke down too.   “Please, be strong for them.”

I buried myself on his abdomen and sought comfort. I hated this feeling of vulnerability. I hated to be weak. I felt so lost. I lost everyone dear to me. I lost my parents and Ai and I wasn’t willing to lose Hide and Momoe too. I had to be strong for them. I quieted down as I felt his hand patting my head and shoulders. I didn’t let go of him. I liked the physical intimacy between us. It was a part of our familiarity towards each other.

_“Oh dear, my brother seems to be in love.”_

My eyes shot open, realising the truth about us. yes…I was in love, in love with an undead, in love with a person who died and came back. A person who would have to leave me. I loved Yoshiki. I was in love with Yoshiki. I love Yoshiki.

“Stay with me tonight…”   I whispered to him.   “Please stay with me.”

“I will…”

Even though I was clear with my feelings, I couldn’t dare face him. I was not brave enough to let him know about my feelings for him. Why not? Because he could be traumatised or scared of me. I could be another predator to him. I had to protect him from myself.

But I was swayed away by my temptation. He took me to my bedroom and let me lie down. I refused to let him go. He lay down beside me and helped me close my eyes. I needed to know why he was so comfortable with me. Why was he not…afraid of me? Did he feel the same for me then?

“Aren’t you afraid of me?”   I asked.   “After all the betrayals you suffered, you should be mistrusting me.”

“I…I did, once upon a time. I was…afraid of you.”   He confessed.

“What changed?”  I opened my eyes.

“You…You refused to touch me unless really necessary. You…you are very protective of me.”

Oh, how guilty I felt. How wrong he was about me. He had no idea that I wanted to touch him and pull him against me. I wanted his lips on mine and I wanted to explore the slender neck of his. I wanted to make him mine but…I also wanted to retain his purity for my sake. I confessed.

“Be careful of me Yoshiki…I am not what I appear outside.”

“I don’t believe you.”   He was blunt.   “I know you are a kind person. You believe yourself to be a devil but I can see the kindness in your heart. You can never hurt me.”

“You believe me too much.”   I looked down.  

“I believe you can help me pass peacefully to the afterlife.”   He said.     “Despite taking my own life.”

Do I really want him to go? Was I ready to lose another person whom I started loving dearly? I buried my face in my hands, feeling the shame in my heart for such impure thoughts. How can I deny him the peaceful afterlife? How can I deny him his wishes?

Yoshiki removed the hands from my face. He was comforting me as I once comforted him. He smiled.  “I hope I remember you when I pass away.”

I took his waist and hid myself on his chest. For once, I was the lost child and he was the mother who guided. Yoshiki pulled me to him and whispered.   “Sleep peacefully and have sweet dreams.”

I found myself falling asleep to his soothing voice.

…

_“Acchan?”_

_He looked up at his sister who stroked his hair. It was comforting.   “Yes?”_

_“Can you do me a favour?”_

_“Favour? You do not need to ask for a favour. Just tell me, order me.”   He laughed._

_“Can you unite my two most beloved?”_

_“Two most beloved? I and who else?”   He joked._

_“You already have someone for you.”   She joked back.   “I am speaking of my other beloved two.”_

_“Momoe and Hide…”   Atsushi mumbled their name.   “So…?”_

_“I give them my blessings. My parting has left a big space in their hearts only they can fulfil in each other. Can you do it?”_

_“Hide has moved on without him even realising but Momoe…”_

_“She’ll understand. She maybe stubborn but she always gets around the logic. I believe you can fulfil the task.”_

_“Are you willing to erase your place in their hearts?”   he asked.   “I am not and I know it is selfish.”_

_“I am not erasing myself from their hearts. I am merely providing them a way to comfort themselves. You should help them.”  She said.   “Will you not see them happy?”_

_“I would…I love Hide and I love Momoe and I also love you.”_

_She smiled.   “I will always be a part of you three.”_

_Atsushi closed his eyes and sighed.  “Alright…just don’t vanish.”_

_“I won’t…”_

_…_

# Hidehiko:

I was an idiot. I did not get the clear message given to me. Despite her curses and taunts, I still found myself near her. I desperately did not want her to be alone and I didn’t want to be lonely. The sky was threatening to fall on us but none of us cared at the moment. The graveyard was silent as ever.

“I swear that I’ll punch you if you don’t go.”

I didn’t move with her threats. I knew she was not joking and she was capable of hitting me but I wasn’t willing to leave her. I cared about this woman as my own friend. Being Ai’s friend had nothing to do with it. Ai did tell me to take care of her but the rest was of my own accord. I didn’t come all the way here during heavy rain and storm because Ai told me to, it was because I wanted to.

“What is with you?”   She asked.   "Why are you here that now I am here? You never visited before."

I looked at her. I was a criminal to her.

“Because the living matters most.”   This was my reason.   “Right now you and Acchan matter to me.”

She scowled.   “Then be with Atsushi, instead of here.”   She said.   “Are you blind to his worries?”

“No.”   I answered.   “I know perfectly what’s going on with him.”   Yes, we both knew Acchan’s predicament but we were silent about it. We knew that it was impossible for them. Also, we never heard cases like these before.

“Then you should be there, comforting him.”   She said.

“Acchan is a grown man.”   I said.

“And I a grown woman. I can take care of myself.”    She said.

“Can you? Acchan has moved on and I moved on. You are the only one who refuses to move on. How can I leave you like that?”

“You can and you will.”  She retorted to my face.   “Know this, Hoshino, I am not your friend so don’t try to shove your friendship on me. We have nothing between us. We were only connected because of Ai and she is gone. You owe me nothing and neither do I.”

I swear to god, nothing made me this angry as she did. Those words were something I detested. How can she just say that we had nothing between us? After all we’ve been through, how can she just severe the ties?

“Why?”   I whispered as she stared me.   “Why are you always so…cold?”

She remained quiet. She, of course, didn’t care answering me.   “Why do you always have to push everyone away?”  I asked.   “Why? Why do you do this?!”   I exclaimed feeling the burn in my eyes.    “Why can't you accept that there are other people who care about you?! There are people who love you! Acchan loves you! I love you!”

For a moment, I saw shock on her face but it subsided with her apathy.   “Go home.”  She turned to leave and I couldn’t help myself. I silently sobbed near her grave, feeling worse than ever. My head hurt a lot. My knees gave away.

She heard me falling and rushed to catch me. I lost my consciousness.

…

 


	7. Seven

# Atsushi:

I found myself buried in Yoshiki's chest in the morning. He was still sleeping and breathing on my forehead. I didn't move, not wanting him to wake up. I wanted to savour this moment between us, this physical intimacy between us. My fingers fumbled on his collar and I could almost see the chest inside. The mark was visible. I had this urge to kiss the mark but I refrained from such act. I looked at his small lips but looked away, knowing what I might do. My impulses were working against my mind. I no longer ordered my brain.

I snuggled closer for his warmth despite his cold body. I did not care, though. I liked being close to him. My hair must have picked his nose as he stirred and woke up. He looked at me and I at him. Our gazes stuck on each other and he smiled.

"Morning."

I smiled back.   "You had a good sleep?"

He nodded.   "No nightmares."

"Thank you, for comforting me."

"Don't thank me."   he said.   "You have comforted me once, now it is my turn."

Oh, how I wanted to pull his lips on mine, the way he smiled and said those words. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. But I didn't do such a thing. I didn't want to scare him or make him feel awful. We left the bed and I had breakfast with him beside me.

"Miss Momoe and Mister Hidehiko...were they not supposed to visit you today?"   He asked and I nodded.

"I guess something happened. I'll check on them at the office and..."   I gave him my credit card from my pocket.   "Have this."

Yoshiki was taken aback.   "Um...what for?"

"So you don't have to be cooped up at home."   I said.   "You can go out and buy anything you want."

"But..."  He tried to argue.

"No buts."   I pouted.   "Plus, I would only be worried if you were alive because you'd be spending on food. So, my money is safe anyway."   I smirked which made him giggle. He wasn't uncomfortable with undead jokes. He took the card and tried to scare me.

"I'll make sure I buy a Mercedes."

Our teasing smiles lingered on our faces. After breakfast, I gave him Ai's cell-phone that had been off for months.

"It still has credit so call me if you need anything."

I observed his expression as he checked the pink phone. He was trying not to snicker as was I. He put on a smile and thanked me.

"Don't thank me. Pink suits you."   I teased him and he ended up laughing.

"You are so mean."   He laughingly said but asked.  "But is it alright...for an undead like me to go out?"

I nodded.   "My previous client was a crazy man. He spent his days at fairs and riding roller coasters."  

Yoshiki nodded and smiled widely.   "Thank you...I mean it."

"Oh."   I pretended.   "So the previous thanks were not so genuine."

I managed to make him laugh again. We only spared few moments of glance before I left. Keiko was returning from somewhere when we met downstairs.

"Acchan."   She smiled and I found myself slightly scowling.

"Morning Keiko."   I curtly bowed and hastily tried to go to my car.

"Are you free anytime this weekend?"   She asked, almost getting in my way.   "I'm going out with some friends and I was hoping you would join the party."

"Uh, thanks but no."   I answered.   "I got work...with Momoe and Hide."   I could swear that I saw a scowl on her face when I mentioned Momoe.

"But you always work. Take a break and chill. Meet some new people…”  She looked down and added.   “Momoe isn't the only woman in this world."   She completely ignored that I mentioned Hide. I tried to resist my anger and weakly smiled.

"Momoe is my friend. She was there during my time of need so I'd appreciate if you don't talk about her like that."  

She looked at me and said softly.   “I was here too…you just didn’t let me in.”   I sighed.

“I must get to work.”   I got past her when I heard her calling.

"How long will you shut people out?"

I slowly turned to her and sighed.   "How long will you go on with this?"

I saw a hint of surprise on her face. She didn’t expect me to say it but I had little time.   "I am late for work. Good bye."

I left and arrived at work. Everyone was present except Hide. I asked.   "Where is Hide?"   I actually pointed the question at Momoe, who looked tired.

"Hospital."   She answered.  

"What happened?"  I asked her but she casually looked at me.

"Um...nothing serious. The doctor said that he is slightly suffering from anaemia. He'll be fine after a night rest."

I didn't ask further but I had a feeling that she purposely skipped some information. I nodded.   "I'll visit him after work."  And turned to Yuta.   "Can you manage a meeting with the stalker? Is he still in custody?"

"He is. He was given parole but after some petty crimes, he was brought back in. I'll arrange it."  He said. Within fifteen minutes or so, he managed to arrange the meeting with him. I found his information in the file.

His name was Toshimitsu Deyama, an ordinary postman. He started stalking Yoshiki after a brief encounter, delivering a letter to him. He often harassed him on the streets, tried to break into his house and even sent love letters to him. He was fired after an official complaint and was detained for few days. He did not show up for weeks until a few days before Yoshiki's suicide.

I took my leave and arrived at the police station. I was acquainted with few of the men who knew the existence of the Undead, the witnesses and the risers. They were the ones in charge taking care of the papers and getting authorisations.

One of them led me to the cell where Toshimitsu was. He was a plump man about Anii's age. He looked at me emptily. He had no life in his eyes.

I greeted.   "Toshimitsu Deyama, I am Atsushi Sakurai and I'm here to talk about Yoshiki Hayashi's rape and suicide."

"I didn't do it."  He said firstly.   "I didn't touch him."

I sat on the chair and said.  "I know and I believe you."   I did not know the reason for believing him but I had this feeling that this man was mad but not bad. I would believe it more if it turned out to be Sugizo.

"You do?"  He asked innocently.   "Then...what do you want to ask me?"

"I want you to tell me the things you saw when you stalked him."

He didn't really understand what I meant so I cleared.   "You must have seen him and the people around him. What was his usual routine? Who did he meet? Anything that seemed out of place before his passing?"

"Well...He usually went to the kindergarten and came home straight. He never went out after work, not even with colleagues. I did see a man often coming to his place, trying to talk to him. I think Sugizo was his name."

There...my favourite candidate for the crime.

"What did he do?"

"That man often argued with Yoshiki and Yoshiki trying to escape. I even fought him, saving Yoshiki...my dear sweet Yoshiki. He was so grateful."

Another clue...why didn't Sugizo mention that part?

"Did you hear what they were arguing about?"

"He said that he loved him and wanted to be with him and...something about hiding their relationship. I could tell that Yoshiki didn't like him."

I found my hand fisting up. That man will pay for what he did to Yoshiki.

"Did you see him on the day of the incident?"

"No. I tried to talk to him on that day but he brushed me away...so I went to a pub to drown on alcohol. It is my only companion now..."   His eyes glistened and he started crying.  "Yoshiki...my dear Yoshiki."

I knew that Toshimitsu wasn't the Riser. He did not have that power. Although I should not be feeling anything for Yoshiki's stalker, I found myself pitying the man. He was mentally disabled and he acted rashly without thinking much. Sugizo, on the other hand, will pay for his cold and calculated deeds. I left his cell and returned to the office. I gathered more on Sugizo such as his activities during the incident. Even if he had a successful alibi, he has some secrets that could help us finding the real criminal.

During the break, I called Yoshiki and heard his happy voice.   “Are you shopping for Mercedes?”   I joked.

He chuckled on the other line and answered.   “ _Lamborghini.”_

“Oh dear, I shall soon be penniless.”   I laughed and said.   “I will be home late. I have to visit the hospital to see Hide.”

“ _Is he alright?”_  Yoshiki asked me.

“A little anaemia. I am sure he’ll be fine.”

He mumbled something on the other line and said.   _“Will you…take Miss Momoe with you?”_

I was kind of surprised when he brought her up. Did he suspect something too?  “Yoshiki? Please tell me whatever you have in your mind.”

_“I think…that…she must be there with you. Please take her there even if she refuses to go with you.”_

I agreed and we put our phones down. I returned to work and continued until nightfall. When time came for me to visit Hide at the hospital, I asked Momoe.

“Oh, surely I don’t need to go.”   She said.   “He wouldn’t like my presence anyway.”

“Nonsense.”   I refuted.   “He would like it if you are there and…I need someone with me. Please.”  I made sure to look extra innocent so she would agree. She sighed and nodded.

“Fine…”   then she added.   “But I won’t enter the chamber. You’ll do your business and I’ll do mine.”

I agreed and left after everyone else.

The hospital was quiet. We arrived a little before midnight and found his room. He was resting but not sleeping. I looked at Momoe and asked.   "You sure that you don't want to see him?"

Her gaze was bored. It said to me that I was an idiot to even ask. I chuckled and entered the room and Hide opened his eyes.

"Acchan..."   He was not surprised to see me. He smiled and I took a seat beside him.

"What have you done, this time?"   I asked.

"Oh, the same old."  He said.   "Is she here?"

I looked at the gate. Momoe was no longer outside. She left to give us some privacy.   "She is here but she is refusing to meet you."

Hide sighed.  "I don't blame her, not after what I said. It was a miracle that she brought me to the hospital."

Now, that surprised me. Momoe completely missed that information.

"What did you say to her?"  I asked.

"I called her a cold hearted woman."   He answered and, to be honest, I had to disagree. She was anything but a cold hearted woman. She was just cold to Hide. I snickered, though. I expected her to punch him.

"I know that it is not true. She is not a cold hearted woman."   Hide contradicted his sayings.   "But I was so frustrated over her lack of communication with me. She thinks that I am only doing this for Ai. I am not only doing this for Ai, I am also doing this for her."

I listened and took his face, much to his surprise.   "Acchan, what are you doing?"

I looked into his eyes and realised that Yoshiki's assumption was true. He was in love but he didn't realise it yet.

I smiled.   "Nothing. Just checking for bumps."

Hide freed himself and continued.   "But I can't seem to get that through her thick skull."

I shrugged.   "Just, give her time. She is different from us. A woman is more complicated than you think."   I was almost grateful that Yoshiki was a man.

Hide chuckled.   "Go home. I'll be back to work tomorrow. Tell Momoe to go home too."

"Are you sure?"   I asked.

"Yeah, plus, you cannot leave Yoshiki alone at home."   He reasoned, to which, I agreed. I left the room and saw Momoe coming with coffee.

"You're done?"   She asked and I nodded.

"Let's get you home first."   I offered but she refused.

"I'll stay here for the night."

"Really?"   I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, someone needs to stay. You have Yoshiki to worry about."   She said.    "I'll bring him to work tomorrow."

I was almost awed that she cared but I didn't express it. I didn't want to be her punchbag. I nodded and left her a hug. I left the hospital.

I arrived rather late and expected the room to be dark but the lights were on. Yoshiki stood up, smiling that made me forget about the day's troubles.

"You were waiting?"   I asked. Yoshiki nodded and took my coat for me.

"I wanted to keep you company for dinner and..."  He paused.  "I wanted to hear about your days."

It was nice of him to think like that. I looked past him and saw few shopping bags. He didn't spend much as I hoped. Of course, he had no material needs anymore. Yoshiki led me to the table and served my food even though I wanted to take it myself. But he insisted doing it for me. He almost acted like Ai.

"I thought you were going to buy a Lamborghini."    I teased and he joined in.

"I thought so too but I didn't want certain someone to end up penniless. I care too much for that person now."

Although he said it as a joke, it made me feel warm. He cared about me and I appreciated that thought. I started eating when he asked about Hide and Momoe. I told him everything and he listened carefully. In the end, he said.  

"Miss Momoe does care for him and someday she will realise that she loves him too."

I looked down, wondering whether I really wanted that. As much as I wanted my two beloveds to be happy, I was not yet willing to just let them forget about Ai. Of course, Ai herself said that they would not be forgetting her, rather find new comfort in a new person.

I changed the topic.  "What did you buy?"

"Some clothes. I figured that your choice of fashion is purposely feminine."   He laughed but it was true. The clothes I bought him made him look feminine and it was on purpose. I guess...I was just trying to see someone else. I smiled back and continued eating. But this time, he asked.

"I've wanted to ask you before, but never had the courage to."  He paused.   "What is it that you do?"

I looked at him, relieved that he finally wanted to know about my work. I answered him.

"I am a witness. My job is to look after the undead until their second passing. I have to make sure that their families or friends don't see them, otherwise, the shock would be great."

"How does it work? I mean...do you have powers or you are like any other person? And are you the only one?"   He almost babbled on.   "Who is managing all these work? Is the government a part of it? When did you start this job? Is it something you learn or born with it?"   His eyes glistened with curiosity. I laughed and calmed him.

"Hold your horses, my dear Yoshiki."   I said.   "I'll answer every one of your questions. Firstly, I have certain abilities to sense the undead, unlike normal human beings and this power also allows me to tolerate the shock of seeing undead, unlike others. Secondly, I was born with it and I'm not the only one. There are others out there and they have different abilities. I can sense the undead more than any other witnesses. For your other questions, yes the government is a part of it. There are separate departments who manage all the paper works and get authorisations for us and they are all witnesses because they can sense the supernatural aura of an undead and other beings."

"There are other beings?"   Yoshiki asked.

"Yes, like risers. Risers are the people who bring the undead to life, with or without knowing. Most of the Risers are unaware of their abilities. Our job is to find the risers so we can mitigate the regrets and help the undead pass to the afterlife."

Yoshiki asked.   "So, you need to find my riser to help me back?"

I nodded and realised what the conversation turned to. It all came down to him and his past. He didn't want to talk about it, still. I took his hand.

"Don't worry, I'll find the riser and...make sure that you pass on."

He nervously smiled.   "Tell me more about your...work. I'd like to know."

"Well..."   I straightened up.   "Hide is in charge of finding the Risers...which is why he is insisting on whatever information you can provide. Without information, he won't be able to sense the riser out. Up until now, every candidate we've seen and met, none of them ticked Hide's senses. By his abilities, he should be the one to stay with you but his abilities or lack of abilities don't allow him to stay composed around an undead for too long. His mind will not be able to take it."

"So...he spoke to everyone."   Yoshiki looked down again and I nodded. However, I did not share that I spoke to them too.

"What of Miss Momoe?"   He changed the topic.

"Momoe's abilities are more physical oriented. Undead can be really strong if they cannot control their rage. She is the only one in our department who can take down an undead."

"It fits her."   He smiled.   "And...what about others?"

"Well...There is Yuta who is a witness but his senses allow him to find us than others. He can tell who is a witness or not. Then, there is Imai who has the same ability. Lastly is Anii, Yuta's older brother. His actual name is Yagami and he is a medical examiner. He identifies the undead before their rising and his witness ability allows him to stay under control around the undead with the knowledge. He sees the undead mark first before anyone else."

"The mark...do you mean this?"   He removed the collar and showed the mark on his chest. I nodded and he covered it.  "Wow...you have so much to do. When did you start working?"

"A little after Ai's passing. Although we had this power since birth, it didn't manifest until after her death. Even Yuta, who has been a friend of ours for a long time, and a witness finder couldn't sense us until she passed away."   I paused.   "I guess...her death triggered the powers in us."

"Can he find every witness out there?"   He asked me.

"Well...the witness has to be close to him and the power has to be there to sense it. I mean, he won't be able to tell who is a witness in other countries."

He nodded understandingly.   "It must get lonely, after a while. I mean...no another human would understand it. Your sister must have possessed some skills too."

Somehow, it got me thinking. Maybe Ai did have some powers. However, she passed away without knowing. Or perhaps, her abilities are allowing her to come to my dreams. I was not surprised, though. If my assumption is true, then Ai never really left me. I smiled again.

"I have good people around me and having an undead is never boring."

Yoshiki smiled too. I finished my food and walked Yoshiki to Ai's room.

"I guess I won't need you to soothe me tonight."  I said.   "You can have a good sleep."

His smile almost faded but he didn't let it disappear.   "I hope you sleep well."

"Good night."

And like that, he went to the room but didn't lock it. I returned to my room and lay down. My hand stroked the space beside me, wishing Yoshiki to be here. I...shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be...

Oh Ai, I hope you appear again and help me. I need to see you.

My eyes shut slowly and I vanished into my slumber.

…

_Atsushi opened his eyes and found Ai smiling at him. He returned the smile and took her hand. He kissed it softly and she said._

_"Someone is in a good mood."_

_"I am. I just figured that this is not a dream."_

_"Did I ever say that it was?"   She said.   "If it was a dream then I wouldn't be able to ask you of my two most beloveds."_

_"Oh."   He realised his mistake.   "I thought it was all in my head."_

_"Never."   She said.   "And I also know about the man whom you have given your heart to."_

_Atsushi looked at his sister, shocked. She was being too specific. It was almost terrifying._

_"I had a feeling that it would never be a woman."   She giggled.   "Having a brother-in-law is not so bad."_

_Atsushi blushed and asked.   "Tell me, am I the only one you can contact?"_

_She looked down at him.   "I've tried to contact Hide but his abilities don't allow me to stay long.  I have tried to get some message across. On the other hand, I cannot go through Momoe, at all."_

_"Do you need me to give them a message?"_

_She smiled.   "Yes, tell Hide not to worry and tell Momoe to loosen up."_

_She looked at her brother.   "Now, close your eyes."_

_Atsushi exhaled and shut his eyes, peacefully entering his slumber._

_…_

# Hidehiko:

I was bored and sleep refused to come to me. I left my bed, wondering where Momoe was. I peeked outside the room and saw her, resting on the bench. I didn’t want to disturb her so I went back in and sat on the bed. However, somehow Momoe heard me and entered the room.  

“You need anything?”

I was slightly awed when she asked because it was a rare thing for her to do. To show me some care. I smiled and refused. I asked instead.   “Why didn’t you go home?”

“Atsushi wanted to stay so I had to volunteer.”   She said.

“True, he’d be worried about Yoshiki if he stayed here.”   I said.  “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”   Of course, she didn’t say it out of humbleness. She actually didn’t want me to mention it.

“But I’m worried that the undead has lingered too long. We have not yet any information on the riser.”

She frowned, understanding my reason.   “I don’t know whether to remind him about his job or trust him with his feelings. However, he is blameless.”

“His heart is innocent.”   I added.   “Which is why he will suffer.”

“Good thing the department doesn’t know. If they know, he’ll be in trouble.”   She said.   “And Yoshiki isn’t helping much. He is too quiet. We need to let him know, at least.”

“The last time I tried, you scolded me.”   I smirked.

“You asked on the day after his death. He needed a little time but…”   she paused.  “Too long has passed.”

“So the question remains, should we tell him or let him remind himself?”

Momoe looked at the wall and zoned out. She did not have the solution. Neither did I.

…


	8. Eight

# Atsushi:

Although my slumber was sufficient, my body felt otherwise. I sat up on the bed, looking forward to seeing his morning face. However, Yoshiki knocked on my door.

"Morning."   There was the morning smile I was looking forward to.

"Hey."   I didn't know the reason for my voice coming out as a whisper. He entered my room with a tray of food. I was baffled.  "Wh-what is this?"

He bit his lips nervously and answered.   "Well...this is for yesterday...for lending me your card. I thought I'd treat you to breakfast in bed."

"You didn't have to."   I weakly smiled as he took a seat beside me. But then I jokingly added.   "Of course, you did. I gave you my credit card."

Yoshiki's giggle was the purpose of my joke.   "You are so mean."   He put the tray before me.   "Will you brush your teeth?"

Usually, I would however, right now, I didn't want to leave his side. I refused and took my bowl. While I ate he scrunched his face, slightly finding me unhygienic. I pouted.   "Oh, don't act so hygienic. A lot of people eat before brushing."

"I find it disgusting."   He pouted too.   "You are eating your cavities. Yekh!"   He pretended to puke and I ended up laughing. I was surprised how comfortable he was with me. We shared a bed twice.

However, I was just surprised that he didn't trust me enough to share his past with me. Why didn't he? I couldn't connect the two sides.

Could it be that it had nothing to do with his lack of trust in me and rather his insecurity?

Could he feel that sharing his past would make him no better than his relatives who so much tortured him? His aunt, friend and cousin betrayed him and spread whatever nonsense they could. Sugizo blatantly acted as the good cousin who cared for his cousin but harassed him secretly whenever he could.

I realised that this was it. He trusted me but he just didn't want to tattle tale about his relatives. To him, there was no longer any point to doing that.

Such innocent thoughts tempted me to shout out to the world about the misdeeds about his family. It made me want to show everyone that he was innocent. However, doing that would probably help him pass on and I would be forever alone. So for now, I wanted to savour every moment with him.

"Yoshiki."

He looked at me.  "Yes."

"I was wondering...would you like to go out with me, tomorrow? I’m free."

"Oh, more shopping?"   His eyes almost glistened and I laughed.

"No, I was thinking more like...parks and movies."

His smile almost faded. Did he take my offer the wrong way? Of course, I asked it the way I intended. His smile brightened again.   "Yes, but I will choose the movie."

I pretended to regret my decision and my breakfast ended soon. After freshening up and getting ready for work, I headed to leave when I turned to Yoshiki who stood behind me to bid me farewell.

"I'll see you soon."

He nodded and patted my shoulder. His touch lingered on my shoulder and it caused a significant flutter in my heart.   "Have a good day."

I smiled and headed out, hoping not to see Keiko. After last time, I could not face her. I was emotionally exhausted trying to avoid her and not make her feel bad at the same time.

I saw Hide and Momoe already at the office. Hide looked better and Momoe seemed in peace.

"Shouldn't you be in the hospital for another night?"   I asked.

"Didn't want to. I hate the hospitals."   He smiled and took my hand for comfort. I knew his reason to hate the hospitals which was why he avoided going to the hospital as much as he could. However, I thought it would have served him better if he stayed another night.

"So, anyone ticked your senses yet?"   I asked Hide but he sadly said no.

"You already visited them the second time, to make sure, but so far, no leads. I guess the only one we haven't visited is his gambling father who left a long time ago."

That clicked an idea in my head. It could be his father but I also doubted because he left before Yoshiki was born. Would he recognise his son from the newspapers? Before I could ask him, Yuta and Imai arrived.

"Acchan."   Yuta walked to me.   "A letter came in from the police station this morning for you."

"For me?"   I asked. Usually, we didn't hand out our information to anyone, therefore anyone who wished to speak to us would have to leave a message to the police to send it to us.

Yuta nodded and handed the letter to me. I tore the envelope without wasting a second and read it. I almost crumpled the letter and wanted to throw it away.

"What is it?"   Hide asked me.

"It's Sugizo. He wants to meet me. He says that he has something to tell me."   I almost clenched my teeth.

"Would you like us to come with you?"   Momoe asked and honestly, I wanted her to. I wanted her to break his bones, but unfortunately, he wanted to meet me alone.

"I can manage. I'll leave now."

I said and turned to Imai and Yuta.   "Can you find any leads of Yoshiki's father by this week?"

"We can."   Imai said.   "We will contact the Kyoto branch and get the information by this week."

"Thanks."   I smiled and rushed out. Sugizo left his cell phone number in case I needed to call him, but I refused to let him have my number. So I used a public phone to leave a message.

He was already waiting for me in the park. He was dressed smartly in his overcoat and smiled at me when he saw me. He held his hand out to shake.   "Thank you for agreeing to meet me."

I looked at the hand, not wanting to touch it. However, I did not let my personal feelings get in the way. Yet, my skin crawled when I shook his hand. I quickly pulled away and forcefully smiled.

"You said you have something important to tell me."   I took out my recorder.   "Is it about Yoshiki?"

He looked slightly uncomfortable when I mentioned him bluntly. He blushed and shook his head.   "No, it's...rather...about something else."

I tried not to glare at him for wasting my time.   "Is there something more important than Yoshiki?"

"Wh-why do you call him by his first name?"   He blurted.

I raised an eyebrow.  "Excuse me?"

"Everyone I met till now addressed him as Mr. Hayashi. But you...You call him Yoshiki as if you knew him personally...It's almost as if he is alive."

I frowned.   "Is that all you have to say? If not, I'd like to get back to my work."

He remained silent which indicated that he had nothing to say. I turned to leave but a sudden grasp startled me. I wriggled my wrist in his hold.  "What are you doing?"

"I...I called you here to tell you about..."  He stammered.   "Right after I saw you, I wanted to break up with my girlfriend but I couldn't. My mother...she will never understand."   He bit his lips nervously.

"What are you trying to indicate here?"

"Atsushi...I'm sure you talked to my mother and you know all that Yoshiki tried. I don't blame him and...I would have reciprocated if he wasn't my brother. I couldn't feel the same for him. But you...I am sure that you felt the same..."

I pulled my hand away in disgust.   "Are you soliciting me for an affair?"

His face flushed and looked down.   "I...I feel that you and I are the same about our preferences."

I was fuming inside for his attempt to make me a pawn to his closeted secret. Who did he take me for?

"We are not the same.”   I muttered.  “And I can file a complaint against you for harassment."   I glared.   "And a lot of false accountings regarding Yoshiki's case."

"What?"   He looked shockingly.   "W-what are you talking about?"

I frowned, not wanting to explain. I didn't need to explain anything.  "If you have nothing to tell me about the case, then I'll be going and...don't waste my time again in the future."

"Atsushi!"

"It's Mister Sakurai, for you."   I left the park and returned to work.

My anger did not subside the entire day and I was sure that Hide and Momoe noticed my expression. They did not ask, though. But my mind remained on the words that tempted me to kill him. How dare he?

I looked at the letter again and before I could think, my hands flung it in the bin. It deserved to be there. Yoshiki had to tolerate this man all his life. How could he bear this kind of torture?

I continued staring at the letter, wanting to burn it. That was when it clicked me.

"Hide."

"Yes."

"The stalker, Toshimitsu, he said that the day he saw Yoshiki was when he delivered a letter. Did anyone ever find the letter?"

"No. Other than the diary, they found no paper evidence. However..."   He looked at Momoe.

"There were paper traces with the clothes that Yoshiki burned before his suicide. They weren't able to make it out."

"It could be anything.”   He said.   “Or maybe it was nothing and he threw it away. We throw letters away all the time."   Hide reasoned but I couldn't help it. I felt that the letter must have something important. I asked Yuta to set a meeting with Toshimitsu immediately and luckily I was able to get one.

Toshimitsu was surprised to see me, almost happy because he could talk to me.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay...I'm okay."   He nodded twice.   "You...you said that you need some information."

"Yes, you said when you first saw Yoshiki, you delivered a letter to him. We were unable to find the letter but I feel that it contained some crucial evidence. Can you find me the address if I accompany you to the workplace?"

"You don't have to. I remember the address."   He said, almost excitingly.  It should have made me happy but the situation made me uncomfortable instead. I nervously smiled and asked for the address. I wrote it down and stopped when he mentioned the city.

"Kyoto?"   It was where he was born. Why would a letter come from there? I looked at him and smiled.   "Thank you so much. You have no idea how much you have helped me."

"Anything for my Yoshiki."   He said.   "And if you do find him...please let me see him...so I can spit on his face."

As much as I was tempted to let him do that, I was obliged not to. But I didn't refuse it yet. I bid him farewell and returned to the office.

I showed the team the address and they advised me to wait till any information came in. At the end of the day, we returned home. I was in a dilemma about the letter. Should I ask him? I knew that he would not tell me. He didn't prefer telling his side. He would rather stay silent and let the world blame him than shout out his innocence.

Yoshiki was already waiting with my dinner and it brought a wide smile to my face.

He took my coat and led me to the table.  "How was your day?"

Did I really want to tell him that his cousin initiated an indecent proposal of having an affair with his family's and girlfriend's back? No, I didn't want him to think about that man. His secret can die in the closet.

"I had a lovely day. What about you?"  I was served the dinner.

"Nothing much."   He shrugged.   "I watched TV, read some books and spent time net browsing. I slept after a while so I feel fresh. How is Mister Hidehiko?"

"He is fine as a horse. I think Momoe brought him from the hospital."

"So they are getting alone."   He happily said but I had to burst his bubble.

"No, she can never get along with him."   I chuckled.   "She is just being polite, which is even rarer."

"You underestimate Miss Momoe. She is a lot kinder than you think."

I rested my chin on my hand and gaped at him. He could see through the souls of the people and yet he was so innocent about it.

Could he see my soul? Did he already figure out? God, I hope not.

I didn't realise that my face looked stupid which made him giggle. I snapped back and returned to my food. I felt like a damsel in a date. Date...did he ever date? I asked him without thinking.

"Did you date anyone?"

"Huh?"   I swear if he was alive, he would have blushed ten shades of red. But he giggled.   "No. I was trying to hide away from everyone."

"Why?"   I knew the reason but I wanted to hear from him.

"Well...everyone thought I was a girl. Girls couldn't be my friends because I was a boy and boys couldn't be my friend because I looked like a girl...I really couldn't fit in anywhere."

His words filtered the harsh reality that I knew. He didn't dare snitch that he was bullied. People say that one shouldn't speak ill of the dead and being dead himself, he refused to speak ill of the alive.

I tried to lighten the mood.   "So you are as inexperienced as I am."

He looked at me, surprised.   "You never dated?"

"Ai tried to set me up but...didn't work. She even tried to set Momoe with me."   I laughed remembering the expressions on their faces. Yoshiki giggled again.

"I can imagine Miss Momoe's rage."   He said.

"Boy was she mad."   I said.   "She almost chased Ai with a spatula."

"Those were some good memories."   He said and I nodded.

"I hardly remember any bad memories. I was very lucky."

His smile died down but he refused to let me see it. It made me realise how painful life he had...

If only I could turn back time...

"I'm looking forward to tomorrow. It will be our first dates."

To be honest, it exactly what I was thinking but to my shock I didn't expect him to be so open about it. There were few reasons why he could have said it. One, he thinks that I only like women and has no idea about my feelings for him. Second, even if he thought that I could like men, I could never like him because he was dead. The final reason...even if he knew that I could like men and were he alive, his insecurity being a victim would make him believe that no one would like a man who has been raped. It was a common belief of all rape victims.

All in all, he believed that I could never love him and therefore he was safe in my care. Hence, he could joke with me comfortably about dates and candle light dinners. As much as it hurt, I had to keep the act for his sake.

And there was no way he would ever feel the same way about me. I tried not to think about it. I only had to think about helping him pass on...nothing else and nothing more.

"Our first date."   I smiled widely, assuring him that he was safe with me.

After dinner, we returned to our respective doors and bid each other good night. His smile brightened each night and it brought peace to my mind. Neither of us locked our doors and I slumped on my bed, sighing.

"Good night Ai..."

...

_Was it normal to feel this way? The feeling of Deja vu? At least, in a dream. Atsushi didn't know._

_"Acchan, it's okay."  He turned and saw her. She was standing near a lake. He walked to her and held her hand. It was warm._

_"Why do I feel so familiar?"_

_"Deja vu is a scary feeling."   She said.   "Imagine if it actually happened before."_

_"I'd die if I had to see you leave twice."_

_She giggled.   "Silly Acchan. Who would care for my beloved two?"_

_He smiled and looked at her.   "Will everyone I love go away?"_

_"That is part of love, Acchan."   she answered.   "It's not fair, though. But there is nothing we can do about it. We treasure whatever we have."_

_Treasure whatever we have..._

_It was a funny sentence. It gave a sense of irony._

_"So we just stare at the lake."   She said out of the blue and at the blue lake he stared. To be honest, it was calming._

_And everything vanished..._

_…_

# Hidehiko:

I expected Momoe to leave early so she wouldn't have to see me. But she remained in the office digging for information. Even though I was ready to leave, I went to her desk.

She felt my presence but didn't stop typing. She said.    "Go home, Hoshino."

"Will you be staying late?"   I asked her.

"None of your business."   She quietly and casually said. I looked at the screen and noticed the name, Hayashi.

"You are looking for his father."

"Go home."   She repeated.

"Imai and Yuta are already assigned to this."   I said.   "Did something catch your attention?"

She stopped and sighed, looking at me.   "Will you never stop butting into my business?"

"I'm just trying to help."

"Don't bother. Go home."  She turned to the computer, expecting me to leave. But I dumped my bag to the chair next to her and took a seat. She looked at me, with the intent to kill me.

"Why are you still here?"

I shrugged.   "So, what caught your attention?"

She sighed and turned to the screen.   "I'm just looking."

I noticed that she was looking at the previous address of Yoshiki Hayashi and their private property. She was trying to find anything related to this. Why, though? Was she doing this to bring some peace to Acchan's mind? It wouldn't be the first time she was doing something for him. Being Ai's brother, she had a special spot for him in her heart.

"Too bad we don't have his father's full name. Otherwise, we could have found something about him."

She remained quiet, ignoring me. But I didn't budge. Her silence would not sway me away. But I had an idea.

"Why don't we ask Acchan to go to the address that Toshimitsu gave him and take Yoshiki?"

She stopped and looked at me but this time, it seemed like she liked the idea.   "Yes...He doesn't need to wait for anything. We will ask him to leave as quick as possible but we can't let the others know about the dilemma he is in. They cannot guess this."   She said but she looked troubled.   "We should be stopping him to prevent him getting hurt...but at the same time I feel like we shouldn't be interfering."

"Love makes you do stupid things."   I added.   "It's worth it. Now."   I took her arm.   "Go home. It's too late."

Unexpectedly, she stood up, not moving her arm from me and nodded.   "Okay."

And we headed out of the office and took our cars.


	9. Nine

# Atsushi:

I remember working on Sundays to busy myself from the reality of loneliness. However, today was not like those days. I was ready to take the whole day off.

I was getting ready when Yoshiki knocked.

"Come in."

He peeked in and said.  "I made you breakfast."   And smiled brightly.

"Thanks."  I struggled with the coat button, as always. However, Yoshiki was suddenly in front of me and moved my hands away.

"Let me help."   He said.

I almost choked on my saliva and stammered out.   "T-thank you."

His face concentrated on the stubborn buttons that refused to set. It was almost too adorable but I looked away, not wanting him to notice my stare.

I still did not understand myself. I shared a bed with him twice and yet I was blushing like a maiden.

This small acts of kindness made a big impact on me. Engrossed in my mind, I failed to notice his voice calling me.

"Atsushi?"

"Huh?"   I looked at him.

"I'm done, Let’s go."

I nodded and went to the table. He put his coat and mask on while I hastily ate. I didn't want to waste a single moment of this day.

Yoshiki laughed seeing me eat messily.   "Hold your horses. We are not in a hurry."

"Of course, we are."   I said.   "I don't want to waste a single moment in the house,"   I chucked another big piece and swallowed it painfully. I took my coat in a rush and left the apartment.

"Acchan?"

I froze when I heard the voice. I turned and saw Keiko.

"Morning."   I mumbled and glanced at Yoshiki. I could not read his expression due to the mask. She almost stared Yoshiki down.

"Hi, I'm Keiko."   She held her hand to Yoshiki to was reluctant. However, he took it anyway.

"Yu Hatake."   He came up with a name immediately, much to my surprise.   "Atsushi's colleague."   He pulled away. Keiko smiled suddenly upon hearing his voice.

"Your hand is cold."

"I'm a little sick."   He said. She looked at me and said.

"You never told me about him."  

"I didn't see the need to."   I said with a forced smile.   "And I'm late for work. Good bye"

“But…”   I grabbed Yoshiki and walked out before she could finish. He asked me.

"Atsushi, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. She's been...I don't know what she wants from me but she doesn't like Momoe and I have a feeling that she doesn't like you either."

We entered the car and he said.   "Well, I can see that she is interested in you and Miss Momoe is a threat to her. She probably thought I was a woman until she heard me."

"Oh..."   So that's why she eased up. Did I care what she thought, though? No.

"Do you not like her?"   He asked which made me laugh as I drove.

"Like her? No. I'm not interested."    I concentrated on the road.

"No wonder your sister was so desperate to find you a woman."   He chuckled which got louder after he noticed my pout.

Yoshiki couldn't contain his excitement when we arrived at the amusement park. He wanted to ride everything. He wasn't being shy as before and accepted everything I offered.

This side of him was new. So he wasn't always quiet, he wasn't just around the right people.

After the amusement park, we went to the movies and I expected him to choose a romantic movie but he ended up choosing a horror movie. During the entire movie, my heart beat skipped due to the jump scares and Yoshiki laughed at me.

"I am not coming with you to the cinema again."   I complained after the movie ended.

"You have a weak heart for a man who is living with a zombie."   He said and I snorted.

"Zombie..."   I repeated.

Walking side by side, our hands touched and I was the only one feeling like this. I was sure that he felt nothing. I asked.   "So...want to do something else?"

"Hmm, we could buy some teddy bears."   His eyes squinted beneath the mask.   "Make you spend some more money."

"Oh, my pocket."   I pretended to be dramatic.  "I shall soon be homeless."

We ended up laughing but stopped when I heard someone calling me.

Yoshiki was the first one to react. He rushed to my car without explanation and I saw the reason when I turned around.

"Mister Sugizo?"   He was with his girlfriend, a pretty woman in her mid-20s. She smiled.

"I didn't expect to see you here."   He said.   "Are you here with someone?"

I frowned, not wanting to answer that. However, I had to smile and introduced myself to the lady.   "Sakurai Atsushi, nice to meet you."

"Chiaki, pleasure."   She warmly greeted.   "Sugi told me that you are in charge of his late cousin's case."

"Yes."   I avoided looking at Sugizo whose stare I could feel.    "So far we have apprehended a stalker but we are still looking."

"Please, do your best catching the criminal. Someone like that man does not deserve to be out there."

I was touched by her words. Sugizo added.

"Yes, my cousin deserves justice. Please, do your best."

"I will make sure he is caught and shed some light on the truth."   I glanced at Sugizo and pretended to be out of time.   "I should be going. Good bye."

I walked out, hearing Chiaki telling Sugizo about my stiff behaviour towards him.

I entered my car and touched Yoshiki's shoulder who gasped. He was stiff and his eyes were glistening.

"Yoshiki..."   I realised how uncomfortable he was. I said.   "We'll go home."

"No..."

I gave him a questioning look. He said.   "Let's...let's go to your favourite place...somewhere with your good memories."

I was enticed by the offer. Going to my memorable place with Yoshiki while the sun was setting. A beautiful atmosphere and I realised that it would calm him down. I didn't ask to ensure. I simply nodded and drove off.

I drove through the pass quietly, often glancing at Yoshiki who was looking outside the window. The sun was almost touching the west, spreading out the orange to the sky. I remained quiet. I knew he needed some solace in silence.

I stopped at the peak of Sakurayama park where one could see the colourful grove. The reds, yellows and greens made a beautiful picture on earth. Yoshiki was the first one to get out of the car and slowly walk to the corner.

"Atsushi, it's gorgeous!"  He looked at me and his eyes glistened. He didn't take off the mask, though. Observing that no one was here, I walked to him. The sun was already setting.

"You like it?"   I asked anyway and he nodded. However, his eyes said otherwise. I took his shoulders and turned him to me.

"Atsushi? What's wrong?"   He asked me but I didn't answer. I took the mask and slowly took it off his face. He stopped my hands.  "We can't risk it."

I refused to listen and took it off anyway, revealing his true expression. He was hurt. He was truly hurt inside.

He avoided looking at me, realising that his cousin was the reason for this painful feeling. 

"Will you still remain quiet?"   I asked.   "Will you still not tell your side of the story? Will you never defend yourself?"

He looked down and tears finally came down. He stubbornly wiped it away and sniffed.   "There is nothing to tell. Whatever he said was the truth."

"I refuse to believe him."   I bluntly said.   "I refuse to believe that you were to blame, I refuse to believe that you..."   I felt my throat heavy. I exhaled and composed myself.   "Sugizo sexually abused you, he took advantage of your kindness and silence. Your aunt and uncle encouraged his behaviour and blamed you for their son's closeted secret. They blamed you for something you never did."

He looked at me shockingly.   "H-how? I never told you."

"Your silence told me everything."

"How...How can you not believe them? Your job is to believe facts and witnesses' accounts...My version doesn't matter."   He jittered.

"It does matter."   It came out as a grunt.   "Yoshiki, are you still not willing to say anything? Why are you letting these people walk over you? You should be mad with anger. You should be..."   No words came out of me. I couldn't express the anguish in me. I would have killed them if I was in his place.

“I’m…I’m sorry.”   Yoshiki looked at me.

I felt defeated. I felt so helpless that he was still not willing to say anything. All I could do was pull the man to my embrace and let him weep. Oh, god. Why did you take this man away from me? Why couldn't you have given him to me? I would have cared for him for eternity. I loved this man desperately. I was willing to do everything for him.

"No."   I whispered. I buried myself in his neck.   "Please don't. I can't bear to see you hurt."

I lost count of the time we remained still in each other’s' arms. I was sure he could feel my heartbeat and the warmth. I wanted to shower him with the love he deserved.

With slight distance, our eyes finally met. I was unable to describe the emotions in me but his face said a lot. He was hurt and done. He wanted to move on without any hassle. He carefully judged my eyes and slightly widened. Did he finally see my soul?

He weakly said.   “Let’s go home, Atsushi.”

When he said ‘home’ I felt relieved that he considered my home as his. I nodded and took him to the car and drove home. However, he fell asleep on the way and I didn't wake him up. My cell phone notified me of an incoming message but I didn't check. After we arrived, I was about to wake Yoshiki but his sleeping face made me feel guilty. I smiled and took him in my arms easily and returned to the apartment.

I went to Ai's room and laid him on the bed. Putting the quilt on him, I finally looked at the SMS from Momoe. She asked me to bring Yoshiki in the office tomorrow. She didn't state the reason, though. I looked at Yoshiki's sleeping body, wondering whether he will be okay with it. I returned to my room and gave in to my sleep for the night.

…

_“Acchan?”_

_Atsushi opened his eyes and found the lake had vanished. The land remained. He asked.   “Why does this place keep changing?”_

_She giggled and answered.   “This is a limbo, silly. It is bound to change as per our feelings.”_

_“So, what are you feeling now?”   he asked his sister._

_“I feel…calm and yet…sad.”_

_Atsushi took his sister’s hand.   “Why?”_

_She gulped and turned to her brother.   “Everything you have ever loved has been snatched away from you. Me and now the man you are in love with.”_

_Atsushi felt his eyes burn. He wanted to refuse to believe in the reality but it was the truth. He smiled.   “This is how we treasure our love…through parting. You said so yourself.”_

_“Yes…but I don’t like it.”   she cried silently.   “I had to part from Hide and Momoe…and you.”_

_Atsushi said nothing and remained to hold his sister’s hand. The moment was quiet and peaceful. He was sure now to treasure the moments he had with Yoshiki._

_And like that, the dream vanished._

_…_

# Hidehiko:

I noticed Acchan's sudden absence in the office. It was something that never happened. I wondered and turned to Momoe. 

"Where is Acchan?"

"He's taken a day off."   Momoe answered, sipping her coffee. I found it odd that he took the Sunday off. He never took a Sunday off. Anii, Yuta and Imai arrived moments later when Momoe left her seat and suddenly asked.

"Mister Yagami, I was hoping to get your permission regarding something."

"Sure."  Even Anii found it odd that she asked him something. She rarely talked to him and only complied whatever he asked. She continued.

"Atsushi found an address regarding Yoshiki's suicide. The address is in Kyoto and I was hoping if you would allow him to take Yoshiki over there to find the perpetrator and the riser."   She looked nervous, hoping he would agree.

"Hmm...Of course."   Anii turned to Yuta and Imai.   "In that case, you two, contact the Kyoto branch. They need to be notified of an undead's arrival."

"Should I ask Atsushi to bring Yoshiki tomorrow so he can be prepared?"   Momoe wanted to make sure and Anii, fortunately, agreed. She looked relieved and returned to her usual work which involved helping out with paperwork for other branches.

During lunch time, the three left the office and invited us but Momoe refused politely. She never accepted whenever they invited her for her personal reasons, which I yet have to figure out. I, on the other hand, excused myself for a moment hoping to take Momoe with us. I approached her table.

"Momoe, join us for lunch."

"Can't. I've got work to do."   She answered.

"You already did what you had to do. You persuaded Anii to let Atsushi take Yoshiki to Kyoto."   I said.   "You should relax."

She turned to me and sighed.   "Fine. Let's go."   She stood up, surprising me that she even accepted the offer. I followed her to the other three who were sort of baffled too. Yuta whispered to his brother.

"Has the sun risen from the west?"

"Don't jinx it."   Anii whispered back and we went for lunch. During the lunch, the three spoke of other branches who were understaffed and required more people. The finders, like Yuta and Imai, were rare therefore they couldn't find as many as they would like. Undead rose more in the cities than in the countryside like Gunma.

"You think they'll shut us down and transfer us?"   Yuta feared.   "I don't want to go to Tokyo."

"They might transfer us because we are the finders."   Imai said.

"Not just you two, Momoe could be transferred too because her kind of witness is the rarest."

Momoe was silent. It was true that witnesses like Momoe were very rare. Each department had only one witness who could beat down the undead and an undead on a rampage is very common in big cities.

However, I feared the outcome. I didn't want her to move away to Tokyo. I didn't want anyone to move to Tokyo.

We returned to the office and Anii returned to the hospital. While everyone worked, I just looked at Yoshiki's file. He had stayed far too long and I still wasn't able to find anything. Could it be that the riser wasn't in Gunma? If it was so, then sending them to Kyoto was the best decision.

However, I worried for Acchan. As Momoe pointed out, he was in a dilemma between his duties and desires. He had lost too much and another loss would take a great toll on him.

Why did he have to suffer so much? He deserved better. He deserved the best. I turned to Momoe who was focused on her work. She was always so focused on everything. I sometimes wondered whether I was the only one who truly moved on from Ai's death. If that is, then I truly am the worst. Momoe's forgiveness is something I don't deserve.

Imai and Yuta took a break to smoke. I was about to as well, however...

"Hoshino."   Momoe suddenly called, startling me.

"Y-yes."  

"Ask Atsushi to leave tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"  I was taken aback.   "But why?"

"We need to speed up the search."   She typed on.   "I need you with me tomorrow."

Before I could ask the reason, I heard Yuta's call. Momoe looked at me and said.

"Trust me on this."

To be honest, I didn't feel like interrogating anymore. I was enticed to believe her. I smiled and nodded.

After the long day, office hours ended and the guys were inside the office. Momoe was doing something on her phone near her car when I approached her. She put the phone away and said without looking at me.

"I texted Atsushi to bring in Yoshiki tomorrow."

I nodded and asked.   "Momoe, what do you have in mind?"

"I feel that we need to spread up. We can't let this go on any longer."   She avoided looking at me.

I understood her anxiousness over this. An undead's existence in the living world could bring devastating consequences. The fact that we were the only ones knowing about Acchan's situation made her feel uneasy and responsible.

"I'll see you tomorrow."   She said and got into her car before I could say goodbye. I stepped back and let her car leave.

I could only sigh and return to my car. Imai and Yuta came out and invited me for a drink. Me, an alcohol lover, couldn't refuse and so I joined them.

…

 


	10. Ten

# Atsushi:

The morning arrived as an excitement and I was up earlier than usual. I wanted to be up before Yoshiki because I wanted to wake him with a good glass of crystal clear water. It almost made me feel like a doting wife.

I quickly freshened up and got everything ready. I slowly entered Ai’s room and saw him sleeping peacefully. His nightmares ceased to exist which relieved me. I walked to his side and put the water on the table. I leant over and whispered.

“Yoshiki…good morning.”

Yoshiki stirred and buried himself more in the quilt. I couldn’t help but feel a little…shy. This childish state of him tempted me to embrace him, but I refrained. Yesterday was a different situation but embracing him now would be out of place. I whispered again and he opened up this time.

He smiled.   “Morning…”    I straightened up and gave him space to sit up. I handed him the glass and he drank it. He asked.   “Why are you up so early?”

I looked down, not wanting to let him know of my hidden desire of this moment. I simply shrugged and recalled the SMS that Momoe sent.   “I wanted to ask you something. Momoe requested that I bring you to the office today. Will you be willing to go with me?”

Yoshiki pressed his lips, reluctant about the request. He looked down and bit his lips but then he nodded.   “If Miss Momoe asks so. I will comply.”

“Yoshiki, you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”   I said but he shook his head.

“I think I need to do this. I will go.”

I couldn’t smile because I knew that he was nervous. He wasn’t doing it out of his full heart and I didn’t feel good. Yoshiki smiled and patted my shoulder to assure me that he was fine and that I shouldn’t be worried.

I had a small breakfast while he freshened up. He came out wearing new clothes and his hair wet. Drops glistened on his hair and soaked the back. I couldn’t take my eyes that he glowed so much despite being dead. He noticed my stare and weakly laughed.

“The hair dryer…it doesn’t do much.”

Oh, he mistook my desirous gaze as an awkward one. I nervously laughed.   “Ai’s hair was never that thick. You can use mine, it’s in my room. It works like a charm.”

He nodded and went to my room and I heard the dryer starting. While I cleaned up the kitchen, he dried his hair and came out, tying it. I took my coat and he took his mask. We turned to each other, assuring each other that everything will be fine and that he will not break down. And I will not panic.

Yoshiki and I took the diary, just in case and headed out. I was thankful that Keiko was not around. We drove off and Yoshiki transferred his attention outside the window. I could tell that he was nervous. He would have to hear some unwanted words but he knew that he would have to face his fears sooner or later.

We arrived at the office and saw everyone waiting for us. Yoshiki stood behind me, trying to shield away from everyone. Anii smiled and said.  “Acchan, finally good to have you back. Did you have a good break?”

“I did.”   I looked at the rest nervously and took Yoshiki’s hand.   “Yoshiki…this is Anii. He is our current head.”

Yoshiki shortly bowed and Anii softly said.   “You can take your mask off. Everyone here is a witness. You have nothing to be worried about.” 

Yoshiki nodded and took his mask off, making Anii smile brighter. He had a way with the undead. Imai and Yuta gave Yoshiki a smile too, to ease him off. Momoe and Hide were the last ones to look at him. Anii turned to me and said.   “We brought you here to assign you with a task and it should be done as soon as possible.”

“Anything.”   I was willing.

“However.”   He looked at Yoshiki.   “Mister Hayashi has to go with you.”

I looked at Yoshiki as he did to me. We wondered why he would have to come with me. I asked.   “Where do we have to go?”

“You will be going to the address that you found in the letter and I believe that taking Mister Hayashi will speed up the search.”

My breath almost stopped when he mentioned speeding up the search. It meant that the case will be solved quickly and Yoshiki will pass on sooner than I expected. But…I wasn’t willing to let go of him yet.

“But Anii…taking Yoshiki…I mean…can he…?”

“It’s okay, Atsushi.”  He said and I looked at him. He smiled and continued.   “If me going there would solve the case faster, then I am willing to go.”

I couldn’t read the expression on his face. It wasn’t particularly happiness that he would be passing soon but it wasn’t exactly sadness that he would have to die. I noticed Momoe staring at Yoshiki intensely. Her gaze made me realise that it wasn’t Anii’s idea, at all. It was hers. Hide avoided my gaze which assured me that it was indeed her idea.

“I would have sent Hide with you two to sense out the Riser but there are other in the Kyoto branch who will be able to help you.”   Anii said. I gulped and said.

“Alright. When do we have to leave?”

“Today, if possible.”

“T-today?!”   My eyes bulged out.   “But isn’t it a little too soon?”

“Acchan, you have to understand our difficulty here. Mister Hayashi has overstayed his time.”   He sadly glanced at Yoshiki and apologised.   “You have to forgive my frankness.”

“Of course not.”   He smiled at him for the first time.   “I understand. As an Undead, my existence can bring devastating consequence to the living. Atsushi, we can leave by evening.”

I was speechless. I couldn’t look at him even when he took my sleeve. I was capping the feelings of grief in me. I had to act normal for Yoshiki’s sake. I didn’t want to scare him. A peaceful afterlife is what he deserves and I will make sure that he achieves it.

“Okay.”  I nodded.   “We will go home and pack then. Thank you, Anii.”

“I’m sorry for calling you both.”   He added.   “I couldn’t have explained it on the phone.”

I nodded painfully.   “It’s okay.”

“Momoe and Hide will help you pack and leave by today. When you arrive there, you will be provided with all the information necessary about the address and his father.”

“My father?”   Yoshiki looked at me and I silently answered.

“I asked the Kyoto branch to find anything related to him…just in case.”

Yoshiki said nothing but I feared that he disliked it that I pried into his personal business like that. Anii continued.   “So, you will have no problems with the search. Hopefully, we can find your riser soon.”

I bowed.  “Thank you Anii. We will leave now.”   Yoshiki bowed too and followed me. I noted Momoe and Hide following me. Hide opened his car door and said.

“We’ll follow you in Momoe’s car. You go ahead.”

I nodded and entered my car with Yoshiki and drove on. Yoshiki was looking outside which I appreciated. I didn’t want to hear anything. I was trying not to burst out. I couldn’t understand why Momoe came up with this idea. I know that she was worried about Yoshiki’s overstay and the consequences. But it wasn’t like our previous assignments didn’t stay long. The first one stayed 4 days and the second stayed 8 days. Yoshiki’s stay wasn’t that long. What was she thinking? She never interfered with my work before. Why was she doing this?

I sighed and looked at Yoshiki. I had to apologize to him.   “I’m sorry Yoshiki.”

“For what?”   he looked at me.

“For looking into your father’s information. I thought it would help with the investigation.”

He smiled.   “I don’t mind. Anything to help with the investigation is justified.”

“So, you forgive me?”   I feared the worst. He laughed.

“Atsushi, there is nothing to forgive. Don’t worry about it.”   He pressed.   “Are you okay, though? You look a little angry.”

“I’m not.”   I lied.   “I’m just a little worried that I would have to leave today. Journey to Kyoto isn’t something small.”

“Hmm, but I am kind of looking forward to the journey. I haven’t seen Kyoto in a long time.”

“Will you be okay? I mean…it will bring a lot of memories.”   I asked.

He warmly beamed.  “Kyoto has good memories. I will not be sad. So, don’t worry about me.”

Oh, how can I not? I worried to bits. I hated this feeling of being rushed. I wasn’t ready to let go of him. Yoshiki’s touch pulled me back to senses and I finally smiled at him. It was amazing how one person could make me feel so at ease.

We arrived at the apartment and the two waited in the dining room while Yoshiki and I packed my clothes first. Yoshiki brought out the shaving kit from my bathroom and asked.

“Do you even need these? Your face doesn’t grow much.”   I thought he was being serious until the saw the gleam in his eyes. I chuckled, thanking the gods that Momoe and Hide were not in my room.

“I have been trying to grow them for years now.”

“Then I don’t think you will need these.”   He put them back and helped me fold my clothes. When my packing was done, I noticed Momoe and Hide talking very slowly. I couldn’t make out what they were saying but it made me suspicious. Usually, it was Hide who spoke and Momoe ignored. However, they were talking to each other. Something was not right. I turned to Yoshiki.

“Yoshiki, can you pack up while I book a hotel in Kyoto? I might also take a smoke break.”

He nodded and I left my room. The two straightened up and she asked.   “All done?”

“Yoshiki still needs to pack.”   I answered bluntly which took them off guard. I added.   “Come with me outside. I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll help Yoshiki till then.”   Momoe tried backing out.

“You too.”   I cut her off.   “Yoshiki can manage.”

Momoe almost gulped and glanced at Hide. They followed me to the balcony and I shut the door. It was soundproof so Yoshiki won’t hear anything.

I turned to them and asked.   “What the hell is going on?”

“What do you mean?”   Hide asked.

I frowned.  “I know that this wasn’t Anii’s idea. This was Momoe’s idea and I’d like to know why you are interfering with my work.”

“It’s just an idea I gave and Mister Yagami thought that it was possible to speed up the search.”   She said.

“Speed up the search? Momoe, you never interrupted in my tasks before. What made you, this time? And Anii mentioned Yoshiki overstaying. What’s up with that? We have heard cases where an undead has remained for months before returning. It’s only been like nine days with Yoshiki.”   I said.

“Acchan, we are only trying to help.”   Hide said.

“Well, I don’t need your help. I can handle this on my own. I don’t need you to butt in. Yoshiki is my business, my assignment. I will decide how I will handle this case without you two.”

“We just want him to pass quickly.”   Hide said.

“That’s not your decision!”   I snapped and it shocked them. Momoe, however, calmed down.

“Atsushi.”   Momoe mumbled.   “Why are you angry?”

The question, for some reason, got me. I didn’t realise that I became angry while talking to them. Her gaze wasn’t questioning. Her gaze warned me that she knew and she asked to remind me something. I calmed down and backed off. I shouldn’t cross swords with Momoe. I knew what she was capable of. She knew a lot more about me than I did. Did she know, then? Did she figure out my intention?

“Atsushi?”  Yoshiki knocked suddenly.   “I’m done with the packing.”

Momoe turned and opened the door. She smiled at him and said.   “We have booked a hotel with some spa treats. Make sure to use them.”

Yoshiki returned the smile and nodded.   “Thank you so much.”   He glanced at me and I had to smile at him to pretend that nothing was wrong. I and Hide took our bags and went downstairs to our cars. We were quiet. There was nothing I could say. Hide hugged me and patted my back.

“We’ll keep you updated from here.”

I nodded and looked at Momoe. Any wrong move would tick Yoshiki’s senses and so I nodded at her. Yoshiki bid his farewell to Momoe and Hide. He entered the car with me and I drove off without looking back.

…

# Hidehiko:

We saw the car driving off and I finally turned to Momoe. There was something in her mind that she didn’t tell me. She has been very quiet since the office time. She was quiet in the car too. She was always quiet but this silence meant something else.

“Will you tell me now?”   I asked without explaining and she understood what I was talking about.

“I saw…I saw love in Yoshiki’s eyes.”

It stunned me.  “What?”

“He too is in love.”

I don’t know why but I regretted this. I regretted this whole situation. Acchan will break down once he leaves and I didn’t want him to go through that pain.

Was there nothing we could do for him?

 


	11. Eleven

# Atsushi:

Her gaze lingered in my mind. I was sure that she was aware of my quandary. How was I supposed to face her after this? I was unable to accept my duties when my desires were on the stakes. Yoshiki remained looking at me and I nervously chuckled.   “Is there something on my face?”

“No, I would be laughing.”   He said.   “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.”   I assured.   “Why do you ask?”

“I can sense the tension.”   He lightly smiled. I was amazed how he could sense everything. I just hoped he didn’t sense my feelings for him. I assured him again.

“Everything is fine. In fact, I am looking forward to the spa. Did you know that after 12, it becomes an open bath for all?”    I purposely showed interest.

He snickered.   “I never took you for the pervert type.”

“Oh, don’t pretend. I know you want to see them too.”   I teased him and he scoffed.

He pouted.   “I hope the women you meet turn out to be 80.”

I smirked.  “I hear jealousy.”

He rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath making me snicker. This kind of conversation with him made me forget that he was an undead. It made me feel that we were close and together. Now that we were on the road, I had an idea and I decided to share it.

“Yoshiki, I was thinking of stopping for small tea breaks and take pictures.”

He excitedly looked at me.   “Really? I would love that. I rarely took pictures of anything. And it’s been so long…”  

I let him observe the roads and took small bathroom and coffee breaks. During the breaks, I took pictures of the scenery and secretly took pictures of Yoshiki when he wasn’t looking. Unfortunately, he noticed.

“Hey, don’t do that! I look ugly!”  He almost chased me but I held the phone out of his reach. He was shorter and thus couldn’t reach it.   “You are such a jerk.”   I shrugged, knowing it was nothing new. Ai also used to call me a jerk. He moved away and gave up and I took more pictures of him, laughing at his pouting face. He ended up laughing too.

Now, that was beautiful.

We continued on our way and only I had to stop for bathroom breaks but we stopped at more beautiful places and some shops. I took more pictures on my phone and decided to print them when we returned to Gunma. Yoshiki enjoyed himself a lot and he even ran onto the fields when we stopped at one place.

Honestly, I lost count of time. We were relishing the moments on the road. We went on and Yoshiki soon gave into sleep. I, purposely, slowed my driving speed just to enjoy this time. He looked so peaceful. I was in no hurry to Kyoto.

But I feared the consequences of my actions. What if he truly leaves me alone? What will I do then? How will I cope? What if he never knows about my feelings? What if he does and shuns me as a traitor for having such impure feelings towards him?

No, don’t think of it. Don’t let this ruin the present. I want to remember good times with him. I will never regret loving him.

The sun went down and night came. We arrived just before ten at night. I turned to wake Yoshiki up but didn’t have the heart to. I thought whether I should take him inside while he slept and go to our hotel rooms but…I backed out. I slowly stroked his forehead to wake him up. He stirred and stared at me.   “We’re already here?”

“It’s almost ten at night.”

“Oh.”   He sat up and yawned.   “I fell asleep. Sorry…”

I shook my head and looked outside. The hotel was fine and looked quite popular with the tourists. We got out and a bell boy soon came and took the bags. He led us inside and I told the receptionist about our prior booking. Yoshiki was looking around and nobody seemed to recognise him. Even if they did, there was no way they would believe that it was him.

I quickly sent a text to a number I was given by Imai. He was a witness working in Kyoto who we are supposed to meet tomorrow evening and get updates on Yoshiki’s father. Right now, we were led to a room with two normal sized beds and an amazing view. I tipped the boy and locked the door, requesting not to disturb me till morning. Yoshiki was looking outside and turned to me.

“This is beautiful. Your department must have a lot of money to spend it like this.”

Yes, a lot of budgets were spent on us. I answered.   “It is for the purpose to retain the outbreak of zombies.”   I repeated the term he introduced to me. He smiled.

“Will we take a bath in the open bath?”

I raised an eyebrow.   “You are such a creep. Can't wait to see the naked ladies?”

“You’re an idiot.”   He laughed. He bit his lip and confessed.   “I’ve never been to an open bath, actually. Not this luxurious ones, exactly.”

I smiled genuinely and said.   “Now you can and you will see old ladies.”   I had to tease him causing him to throw a pillow at me.

We went down the hotel and out in the back. The women left early which gave us plenty of space. In fact, most of the customers were off to bed and only a few remained in the open bath. I came out wearing my robe and saw Yoshiki coming out too. His robe was perfectly fitted to his body and only a slight portion of his chest was revealed. He tied his hair up and it brought out the femininity in him.

He covered himself and pushed a strand back his ear. He looked almost nervous due to the lack of clothes beneath our robes. I knew that he was yet not comfortable around men and I wasn’t going to ruin this moment for him. I clapped my hands, trying to assure him.

“Well, let us dip in and enjoy the night time.”   I went ahead and let him follow me. The night sky was truly beautiful and the smoke emanated from the water. The remaining men got up and left the whole bath to us.

I slowly opened my robe feeling nervous about showing my body. I was very lanky despite working out at the gym. The towel around my waist was long enough to my knee and just to make sure that I didn’t face any accident, I wore a linen boxer underneath. I got in the water first and turned to Yoshiki.

“It’s warm. You can come in.”

He unrobed himself shyly and got in the water. He quickly dunked to his chest but I could still see the mark on his chest with a lot of other scars. I looked away not understanding the reason of this nervousness. I have seen him naked when I first met him but this was different. I looked at the sky and just scrubbed myself in the water. I heard few splashes of the water reminding me the awkward silence between us.

“Atsushi…”   He started.   “I…haven’t told you everything about me.”

I turned to him and he was still in deep to his neck.   “What do you mean?”

He bit his lips and continued.   “My father…he came to visit me in Gunma before I…”   He exhaled.   “It’s just…I don’t remember what he came to me for. I’m trying so hard to remember but…”

“It’s okay, Yoshiki.”   I went to him but persisted a foot distance.   “You don’t have to pressure yourself.”

He looked so much in pain, trying to remember all of it. He was going through such a hard time and I didn’t want him to suffer anymore. He whispered.   “I’m sorry…”

My hands almost wanted to pull him to me but I ceased. Instead, I slowly patted his head and said.   “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m not in a hurry to send you off.”

He looked at me wide-eyed, surprised that I said it. I regretted it immediately for scaring him. His eyes, however, didn’t show fear. It showed just surprise that I said that. I couldn’t tell what I saw in his eyes. Yoshiki didn’t look nervous anymore, he just looked indecisive. He was thinking something. But what? Can I never know?

He raised his hand and slowly put it on my chest as if feeling my heartbeat. He shut his eyes and whispered.   “Your heartbeat is so light, like a little fluttering bird.”   I almost blushed as he looked at me. He smiled weakly.   “So far, except my mother, no one else showed me this much care and love. You…you are such a special being…I almost regret ending my own life.”

That was a confession similar to confessing one’s love. I exhaled slowly, hearing it. It gave me a feeling of loneliness and hopelessness. He must be so alone.

I reluctantly touched his hand that was on my chest. Even the warm water couldn’t warm up the cold skin. I gulped. I didn’t want him to feel the increased beat in my chest. I tried not to breathe but I found myself reaching for his forehead and lay a kiss on it. I don’t know why I did that but I found the eyes staring at me with wonder.

“I’m glad I met you.”   He said which caused tears in my eyes. but I didn’t let it fall. I only smiled and pull the hand to my lips, giving it a kiss. He didn’t seem to mind or dislike it. We turned to the sky and just gazed at it.

“This is beautiful.”   He whispered as I looked at him. Our hands were still glued.

“It is…”

And time went by, us looking at the sky and enjoying the bath. We left for bed after a long time and none of us could keep our eyes open. Yoshiki lay on the bed and looked at me.   “Sleep well.”

The simple sentence made me blush like a maiden. I found myself whispering.   “You too…”

And he turned out the lights and both of us fell asleep on our respective beds.

…

_Something seemed different, this time. Atsushi found himself content with life. Unlike before, he was not anxious. He exhaled and turned around._

_"Ai."   He smiled._

_"Acchan..."   She smiled too._

_"How are you?"_

_She looked down and whispered.   "I am well. You?"_

_"I am...finally at peace."   He looked at the bright sky.   "I feel like I can fly without worry."_

_Ai gave him an appeased look.   "I'm glad you feel that way, Acchan."_

_Atsushi smiled brightly.   "Will you fly with me?"_

_"I wish to but my flying will be different than yours."   She looked down and said.   "Acchan...I have to tell you something."_

_"What is it?"   Atsushi held his sister's hand._

_"I would have to leave you...very soon."_

_"Leave me? What do you mean, leave me?"   He didn't understand._

_She looked at him and held his face.   "I will fly away."_

_He grasped her hand and kissed it forcefully.   "No, don't fly away. Please, don't."_

_She grinned.  "My Acchan, my dear brother, I will not leave you alone."_

_"I don't care."   Atsushi frowned.   "Just don't leave me."_

_Her smile remained indicating that he was unable to do anything. Tears formed and he looked away. There was no way he could handle her departure again._

_Ai took his face and made him look at her.   "You will never be alone."   And she kissed his eyes, causing everything to brighten up and vanish._

…

# Hidehiko:

I couldn’t figure out her thoughts and reasons behind her actions. She asked Yuta and Imai to arrange meetings with three different people in one day, which was today. She specifically asked me not to tell Acchan and requested Anii not to tell him. After Acchan left with Yoshiki to Kyoto, we had to finish one appointment with the one we never spoke to-Kumi Koda’s ex-boyfriend-Masahiro Nakai.

To be honest, the conversation with him did not go smoothly. While Momoe asked about Yoshiki’s stalking incidents and other suspects, Masahiro kept switching the conversation to Yoshiki’s attitude. While he tried terribly not to speak ill of the dead, his words indicated that he blamed Yoshiki for Kumi Koda breaking up with him. Momoe tried her best not to get angry but he wasn’t making it easy.

But, on the other side, we got nothing from him. There was nothing he could tell us. I couldn’t sense him as the Riser, either. After the first meeting, we had to attend the second appointment. The second appointment was with Yoshiki’s uncle. While we knew Acchan’s meeting with his aunt, we never had a close talk with the man.

Yoshiki’s uncle was a gaunt, tall and proud man. His grave expression, however, did not intimidate me. I faced worse under Momoe’s wrath. Even though he looked full of pride, his words were nothing but lies. He went on with the same lies, blaming Yoshiki for his unusual behaviour towards his son, Sugizo.

“It’s a good thing he ended his life. He at least had the sense to end this misery for us.”

 I looked at Momoe who seemed to have enough. She stood up and shook his hand, thanking him for his time. We left his house and Momoe kicked the car’s tyre.

“That son of a bitch will get it someday!”   she cursed.   “I’ll personally make sure of it.”

I shared the same sentiment for Yoshiki and same resentment for his relatives. However, I knew that none of us was able to do anything at the moment. I asked.   “Where else?”

“We go to the kindergarten.”   She answered.

We headed off to the designated place which was not far. We got out of the car and noticed the kids playing in the garden. It was not a very big school and there were few teachers. It looked like a school run on charity and donations. We had a small chat with the principle who had nothing but good to say about Yoshiki.

“I don’t know what the papers are saying but I don’t believe a single word of his relatives or friends. He was one of the best teachers we had. The kids loved him and he was good to the kids. The kids cried when we broke the news. It broke their hearts…god, bless his soul. I hope they get him.”

“May we see the class he taught?”   Momoe asked and the lady allowed us. I could slightly guess the reason for her request as we passed the students that Yoshiki taught. She looked at me but I disappointingly shook my head. Momoe turned to the principle and thanked for her time and patience and we had to take our leave.

While she drove, I delved into the situation we were in. Acchan was given a chance to be with him but how will he handle the loss once he passes? I had two wonderful people to take care of me. I don’t think that we can heal his wounds again. Ai’s loss was enough. I glanced at Momoe. She must have been thinking of the same thing. I could guess that she was thinking of the consequences of the act she had created.

The sun had already set and we returned to the office. Imai and Yuta were too busy to even ask about our lack of results of the meetings. They were given paperwork from the main branch in Japan due to high load. Momoe and I quickly shared their loads and we were able to finish it before ten at night. Yuta and Imai, at the eleventh hour, invited me for a drink, as usual, and turned to Momoe.

“Want to join us?”    Yuta asked her and I immediately knew that she would refuse.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

My jaw dropped. Did she just accept the invite? And a drinking invite on that matter? Imai had the same expression when I glanced at him. She quickly patched up her work and went with us to the bar.

I was surprised that she could drink as much as Imai and still hold her liquor. I knew that she drank but she never drank this much in front of me or Ai. Ai hated it whenever I or Acchan drank too much. Did she purposely hide this side of her to make Ai happy? She truly loved her, then.

The most surprising fact was that she was actively conversing with Yuta and Imai. The two were as surprised as I was because she seldom spoke to them since her first day of work. Anii and Acchan were the only ones she spoke to and even then she spared few words or none. I watched her as she listened to the various topics of alcohol types, music and pubs and she equally contributed to the conversation. This sight amazed me and made me smile.

Momoe was finally opening up.

…


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Undead: The dead who reanimates to life due to a Riser. However once buried, the soul cannot return to the body. A lotus petal is engraved on their chest as a symbol of a second life. Once a Witness negotiates between the Undead and the Riser, the Undead can finally pass on. They are extremely sensitive to touches and prone to sleep. While they cannot feel physical pain or hunger, they suffer from thirst which they must quench with water. Although they cannot bleed, the body cannot decompose.

* * *

# Atsushi:

For some reason, I gasped awake. I was anxious without reason. Looking over the pillow, I noticed the empty bed.

“Yoshiki?”   I threw the quilt. However, to my relief, the bathroom door opened and Yoshiki emerged wearing new clothes. I exhaled, feeling embarrassed for my overreaction. He gave me a questioning look.

“Are you okay?”   he asked me as he dried his hair. I gave him an assuring smile and nodded.

“I’ll freshen up.”   I went to the bathroom and cleaned up. Not soon after, Yoshiki and I went for a light breakfast during which Yoshiki asked.

“Will we be visiting the office now?”

I shook my head, cutting my steak.  “Our meeting isn’t until the evening. Till then I was thinking to visit your old house.”   I looked at him to see his expression. His poker face was amusing to see.

“M-my old house?”   he stammered.   “Why?”

“I want to know what it is like.”   I shrugged and he smiled.

“I think it’s occupied by the new owners.”

“That can't stop us from looking at it.”  I said.   “Are you nervous?”

“Kind of.”   He admitted.   “It’s been so long…”

I found myself holding his hand comforting him.   “Don’t worry. It’s going to be okay?”

He nodded with a pressed smile and we headed out. The journey was short but quiet. Yoshiki was biting his lip nervously and I gave him the space to think. We arrived at the quiet but small residential area and looked at him.   “Which one was yours?”

He looked past me and pointed at one.   “That one.”

It was a two-floored traditional Japanese house. The roof was blue, unlike the other ones. It was small but homely.   “It’s cute.”   I said to which he snorted.

“I hate that blue ceiling. It looks so odd.”   He said. I laughed and looked at him.

“You sure are picky.”

“I always was.”   He agreed.   “I remember that mother couldn’t feed me anything because I was so picky with food…but as time went…I had to eat whatever she made.”   Yoshiki lost himself in the memories to which I can't access to. I looked at the house again and suddenly had an idea.

“Why don’t we visit your old school and the places you’ve been to?”

Yoshiki blushed as if I asked to see his browser history. I laughed it away and we drove on. We saw his old school that has now expanded. The kids were playing with the teachers watching. Yoshiki was amazed than I was. We visited the old cafes and restaurants that looked more luxurious for tourists. Everything had changed.

We then visited the usual tourist spots such as the temple and the bamboo forest. I tried everything while he lived on water. I could see him enviously looking at me eating and drinking the delicious food. I enjoyed making him jealous.

Kyoto was beautiful. Ai and I had visited Kyoto before, therefore it was a familiar sight. However, after Ai’s passing, I never took another trip. Yoshiki was having fun which indicated that he never visited these spots despite living here. His mother must have lacked time due to work.

Time flew. It really did and I was missing it. I didn’t realise how long we have been roaming that my watch chimed at five.

“Time to go.”

He nodded and didn’t seem disappointed that we had to leave. Perhaps he was content already. We headed to the office.

Unlike our small and quiet office, the Kyoto branch was bigger and bustling. Each employee was doing something important and our arrival was almost unnoticed. Fortunately, a man came forward and immediately held his arm out. He was quite boyish looking and he reminded me of Yuta.  

“Kiyonobu Inoue, nice to meet you. You must be Sakurai-san.”

“Call me Atsushi, please. It’s a pleasure.”   I took his hand and smiled. He noticed Yoshiki and bowed.

“And you are Yoshiki Hayashi.”   I was thankful that he didn’t address him as the undead. Usually, most witnesses never bothered addressing undead by their names. Yoshiki bowed to him and I added.

“Thank you for having us, Inoue-san. I apologise for this intrusion in your busy season.”

“Not at all and just call me Kiyonobu.”   He blew it off.   “It’s nice once in a while to socialise with other departments. Keeps the unity and this is when the workload is at its lowest. Now, I’ll get straight to business if you don’t mind.”

“Lead the way.”  I didn’t mind. He walked ahead of us as explained.

“So Imai-san and Yuta-san gave me the file on Hayashi to look into. So far, I’ve checked the ownership documents of the property Yoshiki-san used to live in and found his full name and was able to do further research. Now, our seekers already sensed that he is not the Riser but this is where things got interesting.”   He went to his desk and took a file. He gave it to me and insisted that I open it.

I complied and saw a photo of Yoshiki’s father with his details. He was fairly young looking for his age however the handsomeness no longer remained. I read the details and was shocked. Yoshiki’s father was in jail for murder.  

“He murdered his son? But Yoshiki is his only son.”   I looked at Yoshiki who seemed confused. He shook his head indicating that he knew nothing of it.

“I don’t know that much.”   Kiyonobu said.   “I’ll take you to him. We brought him here for our convenience. He’s just in the next building.”

We exited the main office and he took us to the premises where he was put. Before entering the building Kiyonobu turned to us.   “Normally I wouldn’t allow you to go inside because he isn’t allowed to see you but what I can do is let you see him. He is in the interrogation room where Atsushi can question him. Will you be okay with it?”

I turned to Yoshiki who only glanced at me. He turned to Kiyonobu and nodded. Kiyonobu continued leading us and took us to the one-way mirror room. On the other side of the mirror, we saw Yoshiki’s father in the interrogation room.

Yoshiki gasped and grasped my elbow. Seeing him like this must have surprised him. It could also trigger some memories in him. I held his hand and looked at Kiyonobu.   “Can you interrogate him first while we observe from here?”

“Of course. I’ll go ahead but just in case, I’ll be wearing this earpiece, in case you want me to ask him something.”

I nodded and he went in first. Yoshiki’s father looked at Kiyonobu tiringly and unpleasingly. He seemed to not like this continuous pestering. Kiyonobu took his seat and started.   “How are you doing?”

He didn’t answer. Kiyonobu continued.   “I heard that you refused to eat again.”  And no answer again.

“Mister Hayashi, if you continue to be stubborn like this then there is nothing your lawyers can do.”

The man looked at him with dead tired eyes.   “My lawyers need not do anything.”   He answered in a dragging manner. I could hear the fatigue in his voice.    “In fact, I didn’t ask for any help. I asked to be executed.”

I was stunned. Why would he ask for his own execution? I looked at Yoshiki who was frowning at the sight before him. He didn’t look angry, though. He looked as if he was struggling inside. Kiyonobu said.

“We can't do that unless we get solid evidence.”

It annoyed the man as he snapped.   “How much of solid evidence do you need when I confessed to the crime? I killed him. I killed my son. I killed Kiyoharu.”

I heard Yoshiki gasp as I felt his hand slipping from mine. I turned to Yoshiki and held his shoulders.   “Yoshiki?”

“You have all the evidence you need.”   His father gritted.   “The knife, the blood on me and my hands on his guts! Why can't you just execute me?!”

I looked at Yoshiki’s upset face as he shook. He held me desperately and hid on my chest.   “Yoshiki, do you want me to take you out of here?”

He refused. He looked at his father who was being calmed down by Kiyonobu.

“We don’t know the circumstances and we don’t know your motive.”   He said.   “If you’d just tell us, we can help you.”

“I don’t need your help!”   he slammed on the table. Kiyonobu sighed and tried to put some sense into him. Yoshiki suddenly said.

“Atsushi…can you talk to him, instead?”

“Are you sure?”   I asked him as I noticed his aggrieved expression. He nodded and I spoke to Kiyonobu.   “Kiyonobu, please come inside. I’d like to talk to him.”

Kiyonobu affirmed and left the room. He came into the room we were in and handed me his earpiece.  “Take the earpiece. We’ll be watching and anything you need to know just ask me.”

I nodded and looked at Yoshiki.   “Will you be okay here?”   I worried that he would not be comfortable with an unknown person. But he nodded and Kiyonobu assured.  

“I’ll be with him.”

I didn’t doubt his words and left the room. My entrance into the interrogation room surprised the man. His stare was nearly intimidating. He asked.   “Who are you? I’ve never seen you before.”

“Atsushi Sakurai from Gunma Department. I’m here regarding your son.”

He sighed tediously and answered.  “For the last time, I killed him. I did it, I’m the criminal. Why can't that stupid man get that through his thick skull?”   He looked past me at the mirror knowing that they were watching him.    “Now he got a newbie to do the job for him.”   He clicked his tongue as I leant back.

“I’m not here for the man you called your son.”   I stared coldly.    “I’m here for the son you left before he was born.”

There it was. The fading colour off his face. He knew who I was speaking of. He stammered.   “W-what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the man you went to meet in Gunma before his suicide.”

He glared at me.   “H-How do you…”   He interrupted himself with another question.   “Who are you?”

“Special detective, Atsushi Sakurai from Fujioka, Gunma. I’m in charge of Yoshiki Hayashi’s case.”  His glare turned to astonishment but it did not cease. He looked away.

“I don’t know who you are talking about.”

It angered me. It really did. I don’t know how Yoshiki tolerated these people constantly walking over him and abandoning him like this. He had no one.

“Don’t play with me.”  I bluntly said.   “You left his mother when she was pregnant. The woman took care of him for a decade before passing away.”   I leant forward.   “Do you know what happened to him when she passed away? Do you know what he had to go through?”

He refused to answer. He didn’t know anything about his first born. I answered.   “He was sent away to your brother. Your brother and his wife mentally tortured him. They made him quit school so they don’t have to bear the expenses and constantly bullied him. And do you even know what your nephew did to him?”   I accused.    “He sexually abused the boy and blamed it all on him.”

_“Please don’t…”_

Despite hearing his voice, I couldn’t control myself. I felt like pouring all of his frustration on this pathetic excuse of a man.    “Even when he left home, his cousin constantly harassed him while being stalked by a psycho and still all the world blamed him for their actions. And you still don’t know what I’m talking about?”

_“Atsushi, please.”_

_“Atsushi, get out of there.”_

However, I didn’t listen. I refused to stop. His troubled face satisfied me.   “Do you even know how much pain he had to go through? The pain of being violated throughout his life-mind, body and soul. Will you still deny him?”

He shook his head violently and hid in his palms.   “Stop!”

“All of this could have been stopped if you didn’t step out of your responsibility.”

“I didn’t abandon them!”   He threw the table away, screaming. It took a while for things to calm down and fortunately Kiyonobu didn’t come to the room. The man started sobbing angrily and repeated.   “I didn’t abandon them. I didn’t…I…”

“Well…whatever you did, it cost Yoshiki his life. You will have to cooperate with us finding the person who did this to him.”

“You can't…”   He looked at me wearyingly.   “He is already dead…I killed him.”

I don’t know how long it took me to swallow that admission down. I took a step back, not believing the words he said. His brother…his own brother…

“Kiyoharu…”

A scream startled us both and Kiyonobu panicked.   _“It’s Yoshiki! He is going in an aggressive state! I will have to call the beaters!”_

“No!”   I left the interrogation room and rushed in the other room where Kiyonobu was having trouble putting him down. It was not within his ability to physically put an undead down. It was a job for Momoe and beater-witnesses like her. But I had to try to calm him down. I pushed Kiyonobu away.   “I’ll handle this!”

“But…”

“Let me do this, Kiyonobu. Please!”  

He was reluctant but he agreed and left us in the room together. Yoshiki was throwing everything away, screaming. He was different from the first time I saw him. He was dangerous. However, I didn’t care.   “Yoshiki!”    I quickly enfolded him. He failed to recognise me and continued to struggle. His strength was twice than mine and his punches hurt.  “Yoshiki! It’s me! It’s Atsushi! Calm down! I’m here!”

He screamed on and one of his punches hit my face causing my lips to bleed. Although it was unfortunate, it finally made him stop and realise what he did. In the end, he ended up crying and pushed away from me.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry.”   He cried. I shushed him and tried to pull him closer however he refused to be touched. His guilt outweighed his judgement. I backed off but slowly caressed his head and let him weep.  

“It’s okay…it’s okay.”  

But he wasn’t okay. He held my arms and trembled, apologising repeatedly. I knew that he had to be taken out of here. 

“Let’s get you out of here.”   I didn’t know what came over me when I picked him up without asking him. Kiyonobu was waiting outside the room. He noticed my bruised face and Yoshiki’s calmed state in my arms.   “I’m taking him back to the hotel if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. I’ll send you the rest of the information I find from him.”

“Thank you. Send them to Gunma branch too if you can.”   We left the premises and drove back to the hotel. Honestly, I did not expect to lose it so easily. I never expected to be gratified by his guilt. What was wrong with me? But my bigger problem was Yoshiki’s silence. How can he not be mad? I would have choked that man to death.

It was getting dark.

“Yoshiki…”

He looked away which surprised me. He refused to talk to me for a reason I couldn’t figure. Yoshiki headed out of the car and walked ahead without me. Was he angry that I provoked his father against his wishes? He entered the room and got a first aid kit. Without a second wasting, he came with an antiseptic liquid and a cotton. He dabbed on the side of my lips as I winced. He noticed and slowly dabbed it.

He blinked plenty of times as I observed his unfocused eyes. He was thinking. He was annoyed. I had to apologise to him.   “Yoshiki I…”

“Don’t.”   He shut me up.   “Not a word. What you did was extremely careless. You put your job on the line for my sake.”

“Yoshiki, that man deserved it for what he did and…”

“I don’t matter, Atsushi.”   He scowled at me.    “When will you accept it?”

I frowned as he went on.   “I’m just an undead, an assignment who will soon pass on. My life doesn’t matter. It never did, so please, I beg you. Stop caring about me.”

“No!”   I snapped which startled him.   “I won’t stop caring about you, so stop asking that of me!”   He moved away glowering at me and I added.  “You matter to me! Your life matters to me! Everything about you matters to me! Stop dehumanising yourself like this and be happy for once.”

“I can't be happy, Atsushi! I’m already dead!”   He stubbornly put the cotton away and tried to walk off. I grudgingly grabbed his hand and stubbornly pulled him back.

“Not to me.”   I muttered.   “You are very much alive to me. You are human to me and you have the right to be happy as anyone else.”

I could guess that the deadly tone in my voice scared him. He slipped his wrist out of my hand and audibly said.   “Don’t give me hope to live again.”

He walked to the window and shivered.   “I remember everything…everything…”     He hung his head low, beaten from all the events. He silently added.   “I can't hope to be happy…after what happened to me and I don’t want you to be involved more than necessary.”

I took a step forward.   “But I’m already too involved in it, more than on a professional level. It concerns me personally too.”   I advanced.

He shook his head.   “Please don’t…you’ll lose yourself in the pain. It’s too much.”

I stood behind him, slowly and quietly holding his shoulder. His breath caught and body stiffened. But it loosened up once I spoke up softly.   “I’ve lost myself already and I don’t care anymore.”

Yoshiki gasped and looked over his shoulder, meeting my eyes. It was hazy. He just started at me with an expression I couldn’t read. Was he surprised by my declaration of my guilty feelings or angry? For now, I refused to adhere to logic. My hand disobeyed my mind and cupped his face, caressing his unlined features. His cheekbones, jaw and chin…all alluring and pure. My thumb moved to his lips as I remained looking into his eyes. Musing and untainted, those eyes were. One could easily get lost in them. Someone stop me before I die in those eyes.

An inch reduced between us and our breath touched each other’s' chins. His eyes fluttered and almost shut. Our lips barely even touched, just a brush when he gasped and snapped me back to senses. What was I doing? What the hell was I about to do to him? I was about to do what Sugizo did and what his brother did. The sudden disgust spread through me as I stepped back, almost panting. I betrayed him…I betrayed him by having impure feelings for him.

He was stunned too. I was absolute that he hated me now for trying to take advantage of him.

I took my phone and left the room silently, locking the door behind me. A sigh of regret escaped, almost feeling weak in the knees. I scurried through the hall and found a smoking zone. I tried not to smoke but I was desperate for one now. Ai hated whenever I smoked so I promised to quit and so far I was successful. However, not now. I needed one, I needed to fill my lungs with toxic air. I took out one from the pocket but was interrupted by a call. It was Momoe.

“Yes, Momoe.”   I tried not to give my weariness away.

 _“Atsushi, we heard from Mister Inoue.”_    She said and it seemed like she was on speaker.    _“However, he said that you haven’t heard yet.”_

“Um…”   I was sort of clueless as to what I had no knowledge of. I was trying to get my head together.   “C-could you fill me up on it? I had to bring Yoshiki after his sudden outburst.”

 _“We know, Acchan.”_    Hide’s voice came through. I was sort of relieved that it was only them.   _“Yoshiki’s father left because he was suffering from Leukaemia for a long time.”_

“Leukaemia?”   I repeated.   “Why would that be relevant for his reason to leave?”  I found it as an excuse to skip his responsibilities.

 _“He left because the medical costs took a toll on their overall wealth which caused them to be bankrupt and soon surrounded by debts. He couldn’t let his pregnant wife care for his ailing self and ignore herself and their unborn son.”_    I heard compassion in his voice which was usual.

“Then, where did Kiyoharu come from?”

 _“Kiyoharu was a result of a one-night stand with a prostitute.”_    Momoe added _.   “The woman accidently got pregnant and dumped the baby to him after he was born. The boy had been refused admission in any adoption centre because he inherited his father’s sickness.”_

This time, I didn’t respond and silently listened. Momoe continued.   _“His father had no idea of Yoshiki’s whereabouts after his departure until few weeks before Yoshiki’s suicide. He came to Gunma to meet him.”_

“Why?”

_“Yoshiki’s father and Kiyoharu were short on time and he wanted Yoshiki to know about his brother.”_

“So…why did Kiyoharu…?”

_“We don’t know Kiyoharu’s reason for…doing what he did. Mister Hayashi is refusing to tell us and I believe only Yoshiki knows after him. He might be able to tell you something.”_

Despite Momoe’s informative tone, I found myself tearful to the entire revelation. There were so many things unsaid and I wanted to know all of it from Yoshiki. But I knew he would never tell me…not after what I tried. Momoe continued.

_“Also, Kiyoharu wasn’t the Riser, which is why I called you.”_

“Um…”   I stopped her. I wasn’t ready to know who the riser was. I wasn’t ready for anything.   “How about you tell me after I return? I’ll be there by tomorrow evening.”  I gulped plenty to prevent myself from choking however she noticed.

_“Atsushi…what’s wrong?”_

“Nothing.”   I inhaled, trying not to cry. My chest felt heavy and I tried not to breathe.   “I’ll see you tomorrow. B-bye.”   I was about to hang up but Momoe spoke up.

_“No, you don’t sound okay. Tell us what’s going on.”_

“Nothing is going on. I’m just tired and…”   I sniffed and wiped the tears quickly.

 _“No…do not lie to us Atsushi…”_    She said _.   “Did something happen with Yoshiki?”_

“N-no. Why would you ask that?”   I was back to being clueless again.

_“Acchan…We know the predicament you are in with Yoshiki. We know how you feel about him.”_

I felt my blood drain from my body. I kept gazing at nothing, feeling like a criminal. Hide added.   _“Acchan…you have to tell us what happened. We can help you.”_

I couldn’t figure out how to. The fact that my feelings were so obvious disgusted me and I felt like a traitor to them. I had to tell them. I had to confess my crimes.    “I…I almost kissed him and now…he hates me.”   I silently mourned.   “I saw his eyes…he is afraid of me.”

Things were quiet on the other side for a moment until Momoe said.   _“He…he doesn’t hate you.”_

“No, Momoe. I betrayed him, I am a criminal for feeling that way about him.”   I rambled on.   “His cousin, his brother and…people betrayed him and I am no different. I disregarded his fear and tried to…I promised to keep him safe and yet I couldn’t protect him from myself. I…”

_“He isn’t afraid of you, Atsushi. He is in love with you too.”_

I didn’t believe her words. I was stunned for few seconds before blurting out.   “W-what?” 

 _“Atsushi…he doesn’t fear you, he fears his situation.”_    She said.   _“He feels that he is not worthy of you because of what happened to him and that he is an undead. He is doing the same as his father did…trying to push you away for the better.”_

I didn’t know what to say. My mouth was dry and she said.   _“Atsushi…I shouldn’t be saying this and I wouldn’t say this usually to anyone but…do not regret for what you are feeling. Not everyone gets a chance…don't lose it.”_

“What are you saying?”

 _“Go to him. Now.”_    she said.  

“Momoe…”

 _“Don’t waste time, Acchan.”_    Hide said.   _“Listen to what she says. We will see you tomorrow.”_

They hung up before I could say anything. I stood there motionless not knowing what to do anymore. I was lost. I had trouble believing her words. I couldn’t find any reason for him to feel the same for me. 

However, his eyes flashed in my mind. They were content and almost hopeful when our lips barely touched. I saw...conviction.

I mentally cursed myself, finally realising his feelings when I stepped back. I gave him the wrong message! He doubted himself more than ever! All because of my stupidity!

I rushed back to the room, startling him. He quickly wiped his cheeks and looked away. I locked the door and gulped, wondering how to start.

No Atsushi. Don't say anything. Just take action. This was no time for mere words.

I approached him as he avoided meeting my eyes. However, he didn't expect me to just grab him and make him face me. He breathed nervously due to the little distance between us. His eyes widened. I firmly asked.

"Do you fear me?"

A moment of staring and he whispered confidently.  "No."

"Then you are a fool to ignore the demon in me."   I admitted.   "You have no idea what I want to do to you and I fear that...I will hurt you as they did."

He let his breath go and he murmured.   "You won't hurt me. I trust you."

I gulped.   "You...you truly are a fool."   My fingers grazed his shoulders to his collarbones.   "So naive...so beautiful...so..."   It wrapped around his windpipe, without pressure. It put a surge of fear in me. I was so afraid of hurting this creature. This beautiful creature...

"No."   I looked away. I couldn't bring myself to deflower this man, not even his lips. They were so precious to me. They were my treasures.

This turmoil killed me. I didn't doubt my feelings for him and neither did he. He doubted himself and I doubted his safety under my care. I didn't want to take advantage of his innocence. I felt terrible.

"I love you, Yoshiki but I don't want to hurt you. I feel like a monster for even...thinking about...touching you or kissing you. I feel...suffocated."

"You are not a monster."   He said so softly.   "In fact, I feel...unworthy."

"You are not!"   I stubbornly added.   "You are so much more...you deserve the heavens. I just don't know if I deserve you."

Yoshiki answered that question by covering my lips, making my heart pound. His eyes told me not to speak such things.

"No...I shouldn't have the luxury of having someone like you to care for me."

And to rebut his opinion, I brushed my parted lips over his left eye and cheekbone. His eyelashes tickled my lips while I stroked his Adam's apple lightly.

We didn't know how this came to be. While I trailed to his cheek and jaw, his hand slid between our chests, grasping my collar. Our eyes fell on each other one last time.

Those eyes...I could slip in them, into that ocean, like the glass marbles...laughing at me.

As I closed the distance, I heard him whisper.   "I...love you."

And we drifted into the feelings brought by the kiss. His hold ached. Our voices splintered between our kiss. I was so happy that my eyes wept.

This was a bliss. This was the moment when I was willing to let the world disappear. For him, everything was for him, my life and my soul...all for him.

I wanted nothing more.

…

# Hidehiko:

Momoe looked better after last night. She drank with Yuta and Imai but didn’t get drunk. Afterwards, she slipped a reminder of today’s task, i.e. to visit the remaining potential candidates. Therefore, in the morning we began our hunt of risers by visiting Yoshiki’s private students. We met the first two who were broken hearted by the news, however, none of them were the risers. Momoe did not give up. She was still hopeful that one of the private students was the riser.

I believed her intuition. I was surprised that she figured this out alone while I couldn’t. As a seeker witness, I was embarrassed.

We stopped at the house of the third student, who, I read, was aged 12 and a prodigy. The parents were kind enough to allow us to interview her. They said that the news broke her heart. The girl loved Yoshiki.

I was not surprised when the parents opened the door and the surge of power washed over me. I was not surprised that Momoe was right. I was surprised that it had to come too soon. Acchan would be devastated.

The girl expressed how nice he was to her and how always he made sure that she learned. She cried, begging us to catch the criminal and we gave her our word. Although, it was my job to seek out the riser, it was Acchan’s job to persuade the little girl to let go. I doubted how he could when his personal feelings were on the line. Momoe, despite being correct, did not feel at ease. She hoped to be wrong and wanted Yoshiki’s father to be the riser.

The sky was darkening and we decided to return to the office but first I decided to call Acchan. I brought out my phone but it rang first. It was Kiyonobu Inoue, a keeper witness like Acchan from Kyoto branch. I wondered why he called us, instead of the office. Acchan must have given him our number. I put it on speaker for Momoe and listened to everything he told us.

The revelation was shocking. The rapist turned out to be his half-brother who was sick physically. We couldn’t figure out the motive for his crime. He also informed us that Acchan left before he could tell him anything. After hanging up, Momoe decided to call Acchan, putting it on speaker.

_“Yes, Momoe.”_

“Atsushi, we heard from Mister Inoue.”   She said.    “However, he said that you haven’t heard yet.”

 _“Um…”_    Acchan was oblivious.  _“C-could you fill me up on it? I had to bring Yoshiki after his sudden outburst.”_

“We know, Acchan.”   I interrupted and glanced at Momoe. She wasn’t annoyed, fortunately.   “Yoshiki’s father left because he was suffering from Leukaemia for a long time.”

 _“Leukaemia?_ _Why would that be relevant for his reason to leave?”_  

“He left because the medical costs took a toll on their overall wealth which caused them to be bankrupt and soon surrounded by debts. He couldn’t let his pregnant wife care for his ailing self and ignore herself and their unborn son.”   I pitied the man. If I was in his shoes, I would have done the same thing.

_“Then, where did Kiyoharu come from?”_

I looked at Momoe to continue. She obliged.  “Kiyoharu was a result of a one-night stand with a prostitute. The woman accidently got pregnant and dumped the baby to him after he was born. The boy had been refused admission in any adoption centre because he inherited his father’s sickness. His father had no idea of Yoshiki’s whereabouts after his departure until few weeks before Yoshiki’s suicide. He came to Gunma to meet him.”

_“Why?”_

“Yoshiki’s father and Kiyoharu were short on time and he wanted Yoshiki to know about his brother.”

_“So…why did Kiyoharu…?”_

“We don’t know Kiyoharu’s reason for…”   she paused, trying to find the right words. “Doing what he did. Mister Hayashi is refusing to tell us and I believe only Yoshiki knows after him. He might be able to tell you something. Also, Kiyoharu wasn’t the Riser, which is why I called you.”

 _“Um…How about you tell me after I return? I’ll be there by tomorrow evening.”_   Acchan stammered, surprisingly. We glanced at each other, noticing the unusual and yet familiar tone in his voice.

“Atsushi…”   Momoe started.  “What’s wrong?”

 _“Nothing.I’ll see you tomorrow. B-bye.”_    He choked and Momoe interrupted him.

“No, you don’t sound okay. Tell us what’s going on.” 

 _“Nothing is going on. I’m just tired and…”_    Acchan sniffed on the other line.

“No…do not lie to us Atsushi…”   She stared at me while speaking to Acchan.   “Did something happen with Yoshiki?”

 _“N-no. Why would you ask that?”_    Bingo. Momoe guessed correctly. She looked at me, wanting me to tell him the truth. To her, it was the right time because everything fit together.

“Acchan…”  I gulped.   “We know the predicament you are in with Yoshiki. We know how you feel about him.”

He was quiet on the other line for a while and I broke the silence.  “Acchan…you have to tell us what happened. We can help you.”

_“I…I almost kissed him and now…he hates me. I saw his eyes…he is afraid of me.”_

Momoe and I realised the turmoil he was facing. He finally acted on his feelings and felt guilty about it. I didn’t know what to say. Momoe gathered up her courage and said.   “He…he doesn’t hate you.”

_“No, Momoe. I betrayed him, I am a criminal for feeling that way about him. His cousin, his brother and…people betrayed him and I am no different. I disregarded his fear and tried to…I promised to keep him safe and yet I couldn’t protect him from myself. I…”_

“He isn’t afraid of you, Atsushi. He is in love with you too.”   She cut him and I could imagine the shock on his face during the few seconds of silence.

_“W-what?”_

“Atsushi…he doesn’t fear you, he fears his situation. He feels that he is not worthy of you because of what happened to him and that he is an undead. He is doing the same as his father did…trying to push you away for the better.”

I understood her reluctance for encouraging him. She didn’t want him to face such conflict between duty and desire. She wanted the best for him and yet she wanted him to be happy. She was conflicted too.    “Atsushi…I shouldn’t be saying this and I wouldn’t say this usually to anyone but…do not regret for what you are feeling. Not everyone gets a chance…don't lose it.”

_“What are you saying?”_

“Go to him. Now.”   she said.  

_“Momoe…”_

Oh, why does this boy waste so much time?    “Don’t waste time, Acchan. Listen to what she says. We will see you tomorrow.”

And she hung up without hearing anymore. She sighed exhaustingly and leant on the car. She was calculating whether she made a terrible mistake telling him to follow his heart.

No, she didn’t.

We returned to the office, only able to imagine how things could go between them. They would surely confess and admit their feelings. It relieved me because Acchan would finally be released of the burden. I glanced at Momoe, realising that she never relieved herself from the burden. She didn’t want him to go through the same. In a way, she understood him more than I did. I envied that.

“Momoe.”

She looked at me.

“Anii, Yuta and Imai are going for a drink. Want to come?”   I seriously had no idea why I asked her. I didn’t know what I was expecting. She curtly nodded and looked back at the screen, continuing her work. I smiled and returned to my work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am in love with Hidehiko Hoshino. I just want to focus on him. Thank you, Crystal for pointing out my mistakes. I'm trying to improve on them and if you still find them, don't hesitate to point them out. I still have a lot to learn.


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riser: A riser causes a dead to come back to life, with or without their knowledge. They are ordinary humans with hidden powers which are not usually dangerous but can be if they focus too much on the dead loved ones. If a Riser dies after an Undead rise, the Undead will perish too. Also, once the dead loved one is buried or cremated, the Riser's powers cannot bring the person back. Most Risers are unaware of their powers. Witnesses can be Risers too.

# Atsushi:

I found myself in Yoshiki's arms in the morning. My head was deeply buried in his chest while he lightly snored on my head. This surprised me because I don't remember falling asleep in his embrace. I only remember that Yoshiki led me to bed and shushed me softly.

However, what bothered me now was the dreamless sleep. I realised what she meant when she said she had to fly away. It brought tears to my eyes and I choked which woke Yoshiki.

"Atsushi?"   He held my face and panicked.   "Atsushi, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I held him closer for comfort, weeping silently. He caressed my head, still waiting for an answer but he didn't ask again.  I finally knew what she meant. She would no longer come to me. She was gone, forever.

"Atsushi..."

"Don't leave me."   I cried.   "Please, don't. I'm too alone and I can't bear another loss."

"Atsushi, you know the consequences."   He softly said.   "I have to go."

"No! You don't!"   I stubbornly said in his hold.   "I...I want to grow old with you and die with you..."

"Silly man..."   He chuckled and made me face him. He was smiling brightly.   "I'm finally okay with this."

"But it's not fair..."  I selfishly said.  "You get to ascend while I stay back, mourning for you. You will be with Ai and your mother while..."

"You will never be alone."    He cut me off. I stared at him, feeling familiar with the sentence. Ai said the same thing to me.  His hand caressed my cheeks and wiped the tears. We continued staring at each other until my phone rang. Yoshiki left the bed to freshen up while I took my phone and received it.

"Yes?"  I sniffed.

_"Atsushi, this is Kiyonobu. When will you be leaving?"_

"Um..."   I rubbed my eyes.   "Soon after breakfast. Why?"

_"Can you spare some time for me? Mister Hayashi is requesting for your presence. He says he wants to say something."_

I thought about it for a while, wondering what he had to say to me. However, I agreed.   "I'll be there."

Kiyonobu thanked me and we put the phone down. Yoshiki came out soon after a shower while I remained on the bed like a duck. He noticed and asked me.   "What's the matter?"

"Your father..."   I looked at him.   "He says he wants to meet me. He says that...he has something to say to me."

Yoshiki's expression did not change. It was as if it didn't matter anymore.

"Then we will go."

"Are you sure?"   I asked immediately.

He nodded.   "Don't worry about me. I won't get angry this time. Now, freshen up."   He chuckled and took his hairbrush. I stared at his back for a while until he noticed.

"Atsushi, why are you looking at me like that?"   He shyly asked.

I shrugged.  "For no reason..."

He looked down and back up, asking.   "You...you wanted to know about that day...when Kiyoharu..."   He inhaled.   "Do you still...?"

"No."  I answered lightly without letting him finish.   "It doesn't matter to me anymore."   It really didn't. Although I wished to kill that man personally but not anymore. This time, only Yoshiki mattered to me. My answer made him smile brightly and I went to freshen up.

I had a small breakfast with Yoshiki and headed for the office. We were silent but confident about the consequences. I took his hand and drove on.

Our arrival was expected by the staff members and one of them led us to Kiyonobu who was working in his office. He noticed us and led us to the premises beside the office. This time, there was another company.

"Atsushi, this is Ryuichi Kawamura."   He carefully introduced his co-worker.   "He is a...beater witness."

I was not surprised that he was cautious because of the previous incident. I smiled instead and shook hands with Kawamura. He was an average height man with a sturdy look. He was, equally, responsive.

Kiyonobu let me enter the interrogation room while Yoshiki was on the other side with Kiyonobu and Kawamura. Kiyonobu gave me some details of his request such as his refusal to take any treatment for his cancer. He also gave me the earpiece for convenience.

The man looked sicker than yesterday. He looked at me as I carefully took a seat. His eyes were filled with questions but before he could ask, I did.

"Why are you refusing treatment?"

He gulped painfully but he answered me.   "I don't think that I deserve to live after what I did."

 _"Who gave him the right to decide that?"_   I heard Yoshiki sending the message to me and I relayed the message.

"Who gave you the right to decide that?"

He bit his lips, a habit which Yoshiki shared, and answered.   "No one has to give me that right, but let us not dwell on it. I asked you here to tell you...about Kiyoharu."

"I'm not..."

 _"No."_    Yoshiki interrupted.   _"Let him speak. I want to know from the beginning...from the day he was diagnosed."_

I gulped, nervous to ask. Yet, I complied.   "Tell me from the time when your cancer was diagnosed.

He blinked and I shared the similar feeling. Nevertheless, he pressed a smile and started.   "If that's what you wish. My cancer was diagnosed on the same day when my wife announced that she was pregnant. It...it was a confusing day for us."   he chuckled.   "We didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Well, my treatment started and a lot of money went down the drain and we were soon poor and in debts."

"Why didn't you ask for help?"

"From who? My brother?"   He stared at me.   "I'm sure you already spoke to him. Wasn't he just charming? Did he tell you that I was a gambler or a drug addict?"

I got the entire picture of their relationship already. Therefore, I didn't push on that matter.

"But I never realised that he would do this to my son. When I left, I thought I was leaving for their own good. My wife was not very educated but she was the kindest woman. I never thought that I would outlive her. I didn't know that fate would take her before me...I thought my son would be better off without me. Turns out, it was the dumbest decision I've ever made."

_"What about Kiyoharu?"_

"And Kiyoharu?"

"That boy...I was drunk when it happened. I'm not even sure whether it happened."  He rubbed his eyes which caused me to suspect. It was something I wanted to check.   "I was shocked at myself for the carelessness. I would never do it. I only loved his mother...but I had to take responsibility of Kiyoharu anyway..."

He thought for a while, trying to remember his mistake but he snapped and moved on.   "Since then I tried my best to care for him and I didn't check on my wife and the son I never saw. I thought dropping by would cause trouble."   He licked his lips.   "Now...Kiyoharu was a troubled boy. He had nasty tantrums and refused to go to school when I tried sending. I tried to take him counselling but he refused. I didn't know what was going on with him. It wasn't until his 18th birthday when I realised that he was taking drugs with some delinquent friends."

I wouldn't have believed his words that he failed to figure out his son's drug addiction being a gambler. However, I did because he was not a gambler and therefore he couldn't have known the symptoms of a drug addict. He was too simple.

"I tried to get him to quit but...he never listened to me. I did all I could, from trying to take him to shrinks to group therapies but nothing worked. I was spending the money I earned for my treatment, behind his drugs because I didn't want him to turn to any loan sharks for money."

I believed his words. He shut his eyes, exhaling his fatigue. He continued.   "However, one day he suddenly collapsed. Turned out he, too, was suffering from cancer. I was...devastated. My genes became his burden and I wanted to...fix everything. I had enough with life playing with me."

"And so, you sought your son's company?"   I asked, rather bitterly, partially blaming him for everything that had happened.

"I thought..."   He tried not to cry.   "The brothers should know each other and become a family before my passing. I thought that it would amend the mistakes I've made."

"How did you track him down?"

"Tracking him was easy. The news of his mother's passing, of course, was a shock to me. My intention for leaving became obsolete and his next guardian was my brother. So, Kiyoharu and I travelled to Gunma, despite his protests. I found Yoshiki through his workplace...the school he taught. I didn't wish to see my brother or his snobbish wife."

I understood his reasons not to see his brother despite the fact that meeting them would have been the obvious thing.

"I was...sort of shocked when I saw him."   He said.  "He was...petite. Not like any other boys his age, I've met. He was beautiful, like his mother. I was just glad that he didn't inherit my disease."

"How did the meeting go?"

"Well...I thought he wouldn't want to see me and would be angry at me. But, the boy was so kind to me. He admitted never seeing me but he saw my pictures and he talked to me rather kindly. Of course, I didn't tell him my reason to leave but I told him that I was dying and so was his half-brother. I told him my reason for the sudden visit and...surprisingly, he understood and sympathised with me."

"Didn't he tell you about his life?"   I asked, accusingly.

"No."   He admitted.   "He got that from his mother's side. She too never burdened anyone with her pain."   He rubbed his forehead this time.  "He should have just told me..."

He should have.

"I should have known that something was amiss with Kiyoharu."

"What do you mean?"

"Kiyoharu was usually apathetic and annoyed all the time. But after our meeting, he became erratic. He refused to be brothers with Yoshiki. He even refused to let me see him. While I assumed his behaviour was normal because of his inability to deal with changes, I was mistaken."

I waited. I could hear Yoshiki's shaking breaths. I worried whether he was ready to hear them again, to visit the moment when everything darkened for him. His father said.

"It was that...day after we returned. Kiyoharu wasn't home all day. It was usual for him not to come home for nights after nights and I thought he would return soon for money. He returned, sure...but not how I expected."

He took a sip from the glass of water.   "He was a mess. He was crying and fell into my arms. I thought something bad happened to him and kept asking him, 'son, tell me, what's wrong?'...he confessed. He told me that...he...he had some odd feelings for Yoshiki when he saw him. He wanted to...have him."   His face horrified.  

"He didn't want to share him...as if he was some expensive toy. He confessed that he went to Gunma to visit Yoshiki. He went to his apartment and drank the tea he gave him and...I don't understand why he did it. Was it to feel powerful or to release his lust? I don't get it...he took money from me to visit the brothel and I never denied him that...then why Yoshiki?...He told me that Yoshiki fought desperately, he tried to make him understand but that...that bastard didn't hear his pleas. You know what he told me?" 

He looked at me which sent shivers down my spine.  "He said, 'dad...I couldn't stop. I liked it when he cried, I wanted him to beg.'..."   He sniffed and wiped the tears stubbornly.   "He begged for forgiveness. He did and...I allowed him his last demand. He didn't fight back."

I inhaled finally. I finally understood the burden this man had to bear. I could hear Yoshiki's muffled cries through the earpiece. I looked at the man and asked.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I thought I heard Yoshiki's voice yesterday."   He bitterly chuckled.   "If that was true then I would have asked him to kill me. I have outlived my family, despite the one with the dangerous disease. However, neither the disease nor the law is allowing me to die. I don't want to live like this...please, let me die."

Some moments passed. The man truly wanted to die and be with his wife.

 _"No."_    Yoshiki whispered.   _"You must live...you must live for me."_

I sighed and said.   "If your son was alive, he would want you to take the treatment. He would want you to live."

He gazed at me, almost looking through my soul.  

"Your eyes....They don't seem to believe that he is dead."   He murmured dizzily.    "I see...love."

"I think my time is up."   I interfered and left my seat. He leant back.    "Just agree to the treatment, if you care about Yoshiki. You owe him that much."

"I will, but on one condition."

I looked at him. His face hardened and he muttered.   "I want to sue my brother for child negligence and my nephew for sexual abuse."

That brought a smirk up my lips, satisfied that he hadn't given up.  "It will be done."

Leaving the room, I found Kiyonobu and Kawamura waiting outside. Kiyonobu asked Kawamura to return and he complied. Kiyonobu turned to me.   “I thought it would be better to leave the man to…have his solitary moment.”

I was thankful that he considered Yoshiki’s feelings. I thanked him openly for his help in the case.

“My pleasure. We often ask for help from other departments when we are understaffed.”   He weakly smiled.   “And…some of us are vulnerable to attachment so we help out as best as we can.”

It took me a while to understand what he meant. Did he figure out?   “P-pardon?”

“Atsushi, you are not the first one to get attached to an undead.”   He directly said.   “It has happened before and…being the keeper witness, as myself, I know the troubles you have to go through. My advice would be to…just forget and move on.”

I looked away, not wanting him to see the glistening eyes of mine. While his advice held the truth, it also carried the pain. He patted my shoulder, comforting me and left. I entered the room and saw Yoshiki. He was looking at his father who was taken away by Kiyonobu. He didn’t notice my presence until after his father was gone. He turned to me.

We didn’t exchange any words. I walked to him but didn’t touch him. I realised that he needed to pour out. He broke down after many attempts to not to. He covered his mouth tightly, not wanting anyone to hear.

“Yoshiki, you don’t have to do this alone.”   I whispered.   “You can cry.”

“I…”   He choked and tried to calm down. But the pain didn’t allow him.   “I tried everything to forget the pain. I tried hating, I tried…but nothing helped.”

I listened, knowing no word would soothe the pain. He went on.   “I remember those words. I remember…”   He cried on his hands and I could do nothing to comfort him. I was still useless as ever. I carefully and lightly held the hands and pulled them away from his face. He looked up at me.  

“What do I do?”

I didn’t know how I should comfort him. I have comforted him previously before but as a Witness to an undead and as a friend. However, now, as a person who loved him, I was clueless. I was better at it when it was a job. I was ashamed.

I put my hand on his head, suddenly remembering the words Kiyonobu so kindly left me.

“Move on…”   As much as it hurt to say it, I figured that a realistic approach was what he needed.   “Make it your strength.”

I didn’t know what I was expecting but Yoshiki throwing himself on my chest was the last thing on my mind. I thought that having the memories of that day would deter him from any physical contact. I was wrong, though. He gripped my coat, signifying his need for closure to which I gave my all. I didn’t want him to feel unwanted.

“Let’s go home.”   I murmured to him and he nodded. I took him out of the room and headed to the car.

We headed off to Gunma quietly. While Yoshiki appreciated the beautiful landscapes, I was focused on the thought that Momoe and Hide found his riser. I wasn’t ready to tell him and I felt selfish for it. I didn’t even want to know who it was or meet the riser to negotiate his passing. This was the peak of my tolerance. I couldn’t do it anymore.

However, it would be unfair to him. To deny him of the afterlife would be a cruel thing to go, crueller than what Kiyoharu did. I couldn’t do it to him.

He was exhausted from crying and as a result, he fell asleep in the car.

By the time we arrived in Gunma, it was already nightfall. I didn’t inform the office of me returning, not keen on having visitors. Yoshiki was dead asleep and I didn’t want to break that peaceful slumber. However, he inhaled and opened his eyes, having a good sleep.

“You were about to pick me up, weren’t you?”   He lazily smiled, making me blush. I had a bad habit of doing that. He left the car and we walked back to the apartment. He yawned despite having slept all the way. He perhaps expected me to make a joke because my silence caught his attention.

“You have been quiet for a long time.”   He pointed out.   “You can tell me…if you wish to.”

I looked at him, going over the difficulties in my mind all over again. Hiding the information would serve my purpose of keeping things casual between us, however, Momoe and Hide will bring the bad news to him, anyway. I didn’t want to hurt him by hiding the crucial information.

“Your father or Kiyoharu were not your risers…”  I nervously soaked my lips.   “Hide and Momoe found the riser in Gunma.”

“Did they tell you who it is?”   He asked to which I gave him a disappointing answer. I was not keen to know and he realised when he saw my indifferent look. He suddenly flicked my forehead.  

“Ow. What was that for?”   I asked, rubbing my forehead.

“Nothing…”   He stared at me.   “Now, off to bed. You need to wake up early tomorrow.”  

I didn’t let him leave. He gave me a questioning look when I grabbed his hand.   “Can I…can I be with you tonight? I don’t want to sleep alone.”

I knew that he thought of me going mad. Heck, I was already losing myself in this mess. Ai’s departure, the Riser’s discovery and Yoshiki’s soon parting all at once, did not help me. I was afraid and for now, I needed him.

“Of course.”   To my surprise, he didn’t refuse. He took my hand and led us to Ai’s room. He put me on the bed and put the quilt on me as I held his hand. I was scared that if I let the hand go, he would fly away from me. I don’t know what was wrong with me but I quietly cried out. Yoshiki didn’t ask me but he was worried. For now, I was the one in need of support and I hated this feeling.

My worry increased by the sudden sound of thunder outside. It hadn’t rained for a while and I worried because I thought it would scare Yoshiki. But he wasn’t scared. He looked at me, smiling softly. Oh god, why are you doing this to me? Will I really lose this man to you? As I lost my sister? Can't I borrow him for longer?

“Atsushi, don’t be sad. Please, I beg you.”   He pleaded.   “I can't bear to see you cry. I feel helpless to your woes.”

I couldn’t help it. The more I thought, the more I wept. I was losing my mind and my sanity. I couldn’t take it anymore. I will lose him…

Yoshiki covered me with his body, hugging me closer. Yearning for more, I pressed my lips on his chest and noticed the mark. He pulled away and looked at me, lovingly. No words and only sound of breaths. I was not in control of my actions, my heart was. I took his neck and pulled him down on my lips, longing for the kiss. Clutching onto the white collar, I removed the garment slightly off his shoulders, revealing the paleness. Wanting to be in control, I turned and pushed him underneath me. The kiss trailed from his lips to his chin and on his shoulders. He gripped my shoulders, his eyes shut and gave me more of his neck to ravish.

I went down to his chest, pushing the blouse further down, exposing the mark to my view. I wanted to kiss it badly but I looked at him who was breathless under my touches and kisses. He stared back at me and slowly stroked my chin. I quickly grabbed it and pressed my lips on those fingers. Entwining our fingers, I realised what I was doing. It was wrong…I couldn’t do this to him. I couldn’t damage his purity.  

“I love you Yoshiki and…I want you badly. I can't explain how desperately I want you but…an undead will be denied heaven if he does the unspeakable act with a living being.”   It pained me to say it but I had to.  “I can't deny you the heavens for my personal desires.”

The tears fell on his cheeks and he finally blinked. He was surprised for reasons I did not know. He said nothing but merely pulled me into an embrace and I sobbed.

“Thank you.”   He whispered as he patted my head.   “For caring about me, for taking care of me and for loving me.”

I hugged him again, pleading repeatedly not to leave me. He warmly consoled me which helped me to fall asleep in his arms despite not wanting to sleep. I didn’t want to waste a single minute sleeping. I wanted every second with him. However, my mind surrendered to slumber despite the screams of the sky.

…

# Hidehiko:

Momoe and I were aware of Acchan’s return today but we didn’t announce it to the office, neither did we inform the office of finding the riser. We wanted Acchan to tell them when he saw fit. We knew that they were already on their way and would arrive by nightfall.

Momoe was tensed because she was breaking a lot of protocols and office ethics. She hated mixing personal feelings with work.

Drowning her lungs with caffeine, she fidgeted. She worried for Acchan and Yoshiki beyond necessity. I figured that she needed a break however before I could approach her, Imai and Yuta brought her lunch and another mug of coffee.

It sort of bothered me because they never voluntarily struck any sort of conversations with her. Only recently did they invite her to drinks and she, fortunately, accepted them. I walked closer but they ignored my presence and continued with their meaningless conversation. I scoffed when they brought up baseball as their topic. However, to my surprise, Momoe turned out to be a fan of the group Yuta was a fan of. I sighed which caught Imai’s attention.

“What’s up to your ass?”   he asked, not caring of the profanity.

“Nothing.”  I bluntly said.   “Don’t you guys have work?”

“We finished it.”  Yuta shrugged.   “Inoue-san was kind enough to let us know of the situation in Kyoto. Speaking of which, we heard that neither his father nor the rapist was the Riser.”

I looked at Momoe who didn’t dare give away that she already found it. She definitely wanted Acchan to have some time with Yoshiki Hayashi. Momoe added with a nod.   “Yeah. We hope to find the riser soon.”   She forcefully smiled. Before Imai could say any more, his phone rang.

“Speaking of the devil, it’s Inoue-san.”  He picked it up.   “Yes, Inoue-san.”

For the next two minutes, Imai mumbled few ‘yes’ and ‘no’ followed by some ‘okays’. He thanked Inoue-san and hung up.   “New information just surfaced regarding Yoshiki’s case. Remember Kiyoharu? Apparently, he is not Yoshiki’s brother.”

That came as a shock. We were given the information that Kiyoharu was a result of a one-night stand. Imai continued.

“During Kiyoharu’s autopsy, their medical examiner took blood samples to match it with Yoshiki’s father to see the extent of their diseases. Along testing out for other things, they also did a paternity test. Turns out, he was never his son.”

“Did he inform Acchan?”   I asked and he shook his head.

“Acchan must be driving now so he didn’t want to disturb him. They are looking for the mother to confirm things further. His trial will start soon.”

“The prostitute?”   Yuta asked.   “Doubt they can find her. She must be retired already.”

I glanced at Momoe again. She seemed to be relaxed after hearing the news. She didn’t bother listening to the rest of the information that his father agreed to take chemotherapy and decided to sue his brother and Sugizo for sexual abuse. I was glad to hear that and so was Momoe. The hidden smile on her face said so.

We soon had to return to work. The arrival of our new team leader put us into new troubles because we had to make a list of documents we sent to other departments. It was a tedious job but Momoe volunteered taking most of the work and I tried to help. The other two were busy filling out for bigger branches and Anii was busier with dead bodies. I was happy to help. The office was empty soon and the three finished for the night, wanting to sleep soon. Therefore, no drinking invitation came. Momoe packed up soon and we left together. The sky suddenly thundered, startling me. I looked up, noticing the lightning.

“It hasn’t rained for a while.”   And I asked her casually.  “Should we visit him tomorrow?”

“No.”   She frankly answered.   “We will wait till he is ready to see us.”

She got into her car and looked out the window.   “Hoshino.”

I bent down for a better look and she said.   “When he does see us…I want you to take him out for a drink. I need to talk to Yoshiki.”

I pondered but I didn’t ask her. She must have something in her mind that she didn’t want to tell me, at least, not yet. I had a feeling that she was looking into something. Something beyond our understanding or no one bothered yet to check it out.

I nodded and backed off for her to drive off. I quickly got into my car before the sky decided to pour on me.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to descend Atsushi into madness. Hope the words express the emotions properly.


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Witness: The ones responsible of the undead and the riser. The witnesses are born with the powers, however, they can either manifest when they are born or later. Some incidents can trigger the powers inside them. There are various kinds of Witnesses.
> 
> Keeper-witness, such as Atsushi Sakurai, whose duty is to keep the Undead and to negotiate their passing with the riser. They are able to handle an undead's presence for an infinite amount of time and will not be driven to insanity.
> 
> Beater-witness, like Momoe Yamaguchi, whose duty is to physically handle an undead when they are out of control or become murderous. They are extremely rare because of their physical-aggressive nature. Their skills are on par with Keepers because, like the keepers, they are also able to keep the undead with them in the keeper's absence.
> 
> Seeker witness or riser-seekers, like Hidehiko Hoshino, whose duties are to find the Risers. 
> 
> Finder witness or witness finders, such as Imai and Yuta who senses out witnesses only after the witnesses' powers are manifested.
> 
> Identifier, like Toll Yagami, who identifies the undead first. The mark appearing on the chest of an undead appears to the Identifier first and then the rest of the people.

# Atsushi

The concerned man eyed me, wiping the cold sweat off my forehead. I remained staring at him widely, trying to recuperate from my dreamless sleep.

"Atsushi?"

What he wanted was an answer but I enfolded him instead. Tightly and closely, I brought him to me. My anxiety did not save me from the reality that today was the last day. I trembled...

He held me warmly, oblivious to my fear, or perhaps very aware of it and already having accepted it. He pulled away to look at my face and I gulped nervously. I didn't want him to know about my conflicts about him. I was ashamed. Surprisingly he spoke up.

"Why don't we go somewhere with Miss Momoe and Mister Hidehiko?"  

It confused me. Why was he happy? Why was he so accepting of his situation?

"W-where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere."   He shrugged.   "I'd like to go everywhere. Can I call them?"

I couldn't refuse the request. He took Ai's phone and left the room, giving me the time and space to clean myself up. However, I eavesdropped his conversation with whoever he called. I assumed it was Momoe because he was more comfortable with her than Hide. He lightly laughed, inviting her and Hide for a day out. It was the weekend and knowing that, he hoped they would be able to skip today's work.

"He sleeps like a kitten."   He laughed on the phone, joking about me. He seemed to have forgotten all the troubles. Twirling his curls, he nodded and requested her to give the message to Hide. He put the phone down and I ran to the bathroom, afraid of being caught.

I took a quick shower and came out to see him preparing my breakfast. He beamed seeing me.   "Miss Momoe and Mister Hidehiko will be arriving anytime soon. You better eat this quick and get ready."

I silently nodded and took my seat while he stood behind me. He stroked my hair gently and pointed out.  

"Your hair is still dripping."

I nodded again and ate quietly. I heard him giggle and mumbling something inaudible. He put a towel on my hair and started rubbing the strands.   "You'll catch a cold if you leave it like this."

I let him dry my hair while I stuffed the food he made for me. It was quiet for a moment until I finished it and tried to get up.

"Let me do it. Just sit here and relax."   He took away the empty plate and threw it in the dishwasher. He looked at me and asked.   "Do you want tea or coffee?"

"Anything is fine."   I answered quietly and just watched him make it. His face was unusually bright and the smile never left his lips. My gaze was noticed as he giggled and waved his hand.

"Stop it, you are making me blush."

I yearned to see the red on his cheeks. Sitting there motionless, the memories of our first encounter flashed. The man was no longer afraid. He was more confident. Everything seemed unreal to me now. I shivered again.

I left my chair. Approaching him, I took his face receiving a questioned look. Blinking once, I just softly kissed him, much to his surprise. However, he returned the gesture by holding me closer. The coffee was forgotten and I delved into the kiss. For now, I just wanted him.

Pulling away, I kissed his jaw and buried myself in his neck. I embraced him tightly, unwilling to let go.   "Just a little longer...let us stay like this."

He scoffed weakly.   "You smell oddly of shampoo and the pasta I made."   He stroked my hair and shoulders, just letting me hug him. But, fate was not on my side. The doorbell startled both of us and he got excited.

"Oh, they are here!"   He ran to the door and let Momoe and Hide in. He greeted them positively and asked them for breakfast. Momoe refused politely but Hide asked for a coffee.

"Take a seat while I make you one."   He looked at me.  "Atsushi, go and get ready."

"Y-yeah."   I went to my room but Hide followed me with the excuse of helping me to dress. Hide shut the door while I opened my wardrobe.

"How are you doing, Acchan?"

"Me?"   I didn't look at him.   "I'm doing fine."  

But he saw through my lies. I was always a bad liar.

"Acchan."   He took my arm and smiled.   "Yoshiki is happy."

"I-I know."   I looked away and took out something decent. Hide, however, continued to stare at me which made me question my patience. Before I could snap at him, he grabbed my face.   "W-what are you doing?"

"If you continue to act like this, Yoshiki will not be happy. Do him a favour and smile for him."

Those didn't sound like his words. They sounded like Momoe's. I freed myself from him and looked at him.   "Why are you here? Really?"

"To tell you something."   He said.   "I'm sure that Momoe is already telling Yoshiki."

"About?"

"Kiyoharu was not his brother."  

To be honest, it didn't surprise me. I guessed it on the day when he mentioned not remembering anything with the prostitute. The father must have been someone dangerous that she felt that Yoshiki's father was the only safe choice. That, however, was a story I was not interested in.

"An investigation against Sugizo and his family has started. Imai and Yuta are helping out the police."

That was something I was interested in. I wanted to see Sugizo's face sulking. He patted my shoulder and left the room for me to change. After coming out, I saw Yoshiki and Momoe laughing about something. It was a rare sight to see both laughing so loudly. Hide looked at me and smiled.   "We are ready. Let's go."

"Where are we going?"   I asked.

"It's a surprise."   Yoshiki beamed and walked ahead with Momoe. It struck me that he was already so close with the woman. Hide pulled me with him.

Yoshiki's surprise surpassed my expectations. The circus was the last thing in my mind but Yoshiki's excitement was something I never imagined. His loud applauds and cheers to every single act and trick brought energy to the crowd. It didn't stop there. Our activities followed to the amusement park, small fairs, malls and the pet shop.

"I never expected you to want a pet."   Momoe smiled while Yoshiki looked at the animals. He said.

"Oh, it's not for me. It's for Atsushi."

I froze. Why would he think of buying me a pet?   "F-for me?"

"Yes, I have a good feeling that you would like one. You look like the cat type."

"Well, we had our doubts."   Hide joined.   "I'm a dog person."

"Come on. Choose one."   Yoshiki brought me closer and made me observe the pets. From rabbits to birds, there was everything. However, as Yoshiki correctly guessed, my sight fell on a kitten. A Bengal kitten, yellow with black stripes. It looked like a mini leopard. Unintentionally, I smiled as the rest looked at my face falling in love with it. Yoshiki giggled.

"Yep, that's your soulmate."

We decided to have it tomorrow after a check-up and left the place, bidding farewell to the Bengal kitten.

The activities did not end there. Our visits went to the karaoke bar, to the pubs, archaeological spots and lastly, at sunset, a picnic on the mountain. Physically, we were worn out but because of Yoshiki's energy, we could enjoy. Momoe shared the same enthusiasm with Yoshiki. Hide and I was more passive. We felt like the adult parents of two kids. However, we enjoyed it.

It seemed that for a moment we forgot about the true situation. We forgot that this was Yoshiki's last day. It was funny because previously I have seen two passing onto the afterlife but this hurt a lot. It felt like a gut-wrenching punch.

Momoe and Yoshiki were flying the kites we bought on the way. Hide and I were sitting on the grass, watching the two with cans of beer in our hands.

"Momoe is terrible at kite flying."   Hide snickered and flipped his hair back. He had a bad habit of doing that. I shared the same opinion.   "But I'm happy to see them like this. Yoshiki will not pass without regrets."

My expression died, the gulp of beer felt painful in my throat. Hide noticed my face and murmured.

"He’ll be fine and so will you. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."   He smiled as I faced him.   "That's what Ai always said."

Oh Hide, my dear Hide. I forgot how this man also lost someone in his life. He lost someone he loved dearly. I was ignorant to his pain which caused a guilt in me. How could I have forgotten that I wasn't the only one who was suffering?

I pulled him into a hug, which surprised him but he chuckled and embraced me back.   "Silly man, you are. You are stronger than you think. Yoshiki is stronger than you think. But we are here for you, nevertheless, so don't ever think you are alone."

Silly man. He was being silly by being oblivious to his own feelings. Even though Momoe was the one who made me aware of Yoshiki's feelings, I figured mine on my own. But this idiot didn't. I felt that I owed this man the decency to let him know what he felt for I knew that he will never know on his own. I hugged him closer.

"Atsushi? What’s troubling you?"   He asked.

"Take care of her."

He didn't understand my statement when I looked at him.  "Ai can never be replaced, we all know that but that should not prevent you two to find happiness and comfort in each other."

He finally understood. His eyes widened.   "W-what?"

I only smiled and was joined by the other two, keeping the mystery as it was. Hide's look did not change. He kept watching me while I laughed with the other two. He was baffled, thrown out of his comfort zone. Good. Now this idiot will finally know what it feels like to realise something.

The sun was gone and reminded us of the time. All three of us stiffened except Yoshiki. He knew but he came to terms with it. He looked at me and reminded me of the hour.

"We must go."

I wanted to cry, I really did but the smile was something I was not ready to lose just yet. I forcefully smiled and nodded. I turned to the two.   "You guys should hit for the night."

"Are you sure?"   Hide asked me, still fighting inside. He looked very uncomfortable with everything. He didn't know whether to comfort me or himself. I nodded and looked at Momoe.  

"We’ll be fine."

Momoe nodded and bowed to Yoshiki.   "Thank you for today, Yoshiki. We had a great time."

He beamed too.   "I'm glad. I really am. Thank you for everything."   He took her hand much to her surprise.   "I hope you find peace."

The look on her face made me realise that Yoshiki had told her about Hide. I was relieved that Momoe knew already. I couldn't bear the secrecy. Yoshiki let go of her and Momoe handed me an envelope for the Negotiation. I looked at her, asking.   “But I was supposed to get it and when did you get it?”

“Don’t worry about that.”   She didn’t answer my question. I looked at Hide, who seemed to be having the same trouble. He didn’t know about this. The two left us on the mountain and Yoshiki spoke once the car vanished.

"Miss Momoe knew everything, from the beginning."

"Really?"   I was surprised.   "Then why didn't she do anything?"

"She wasn't ready to move on."   He said.   "But now she is."

I smiled, amused that he could tell so much. I had a feeling that he was not an ordinary man when he was alive. I opened the envelope and took out a picture of a little girl. I never saw the girl before but the innocence on her face indicated that she was Yoshiki's Riser. I assumed that Yoshiki already knew.

"I never expected it to be her."   Yoshiki said.   "Who knew that a person whom I only knew for few months would be the one to wish me back?"

"The closest people we know and love are the ones we never expect."   I said.    “You touched her heart.”

"So."   He added.   "How do we do this?"

I exhaled and looked at the sky.   "This is the hardest part."

"What do you mean?"

I smiled weakly again, not wanting to remember what negotiating required. It was mentally and physically exhausting. I didn't answer him. Instead, I asked him.   "Are you really ready to go?"

"Honestly, no."

"Then don't."

"I wish but it wouldn't be fair to my mother who has been waiting for so long."   He reached into his coat pocket and took out his diary.   "In the end, I still couldn't overcome my fears and open this diary."

"Perhaps the key to open this is not to overcome the fears."   I said and took the diary.   "Perhaps, its key is something entirely else."

Both of us smiled, knowing that we will never be able to overcome our pain and fear but we were okay with it. We don't need to overcome fear to become stronger. We just need to keep fighting.

"Then will you help me?"

I realised that to keep fighting, we need to keep supporting each other. That's the job of a witness. I nodded.

"I will..."

Inside the envelope was a letter with the picture. The letter was colourful, with star and flower stickers. Yoshiki inaudibly awed, touched by the effort put on the paper.   "What is it?"   He asked me, facing me.

"It's a letter from the Riser, bidding farewell and wishing good luck with the undead's journey. It is a requirement for the Undead to pass on."

His eyes became teary but the smile never faded. He sniffed and urged me.

"Well, read it."

I sat on the ground and asked him to sit. Opening the letter, I said.   "Close your eyes and lie down."

He complied. He exhaled and looked at me, taking my hand. With a slight nod he shut his eyes with a smile as I read painfully the words of farewell.

"Dear teacher, how is heaven? Is it pretty? Is it magical? Sadly, it's not the same on earth. A nice lady came to my dreams and told me that you were unhappy because I was not happy. Teacher, are you unhappy? Are you mad at me because I am not happy? Teacher, please don't be sad, please don't be mad. I will be happy and I will do my best in learning music. The nice lady said that you will smile if I write you a letter."   I looked at Yoshiki's sleeping and yet smiling face. Perhaps he was imagining the little girl talking directly to him.

"Do you know that this autumn will be the most colourful autumn? I can't wait to see it, I only wish that you were here to see it with us. To play the piano with us. I loved your piano playing even though I said that I didn't like it. It was only to make you mad so you would never come again."   I chuckled as I read.   

"Teacher, I am sorry for making troubles for you. You were the only one who could teach me and I wouldn't want any other person. Teacher...you are my only inspiration and I love you."   I could feel the lump in my throat as I tried not to break down. It would be inauspicious to cry now.

"I wish...I wish you all the best...in your journey...to the heavens and I hope...I hope that you will remember...our times. I..."

I looked at Yoshiki again. The smile was almost gone...his grip on my hand remained. Bending down to his face I ended.    "I am finally letting you go..."   

I pressed my lips to his lips for the last time, feeling the life slipping away once and for all. I didn't realise that my tears fell on his dead cheeks, looking as if he cried. I couldn’t breathe as I took his face and pulled away to look at it. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I couldn't be strong as the little girl. This seemed like cutting off a limb. It bled so much...

I was going in circles, losing people dear to me repeatedly.

"Y-Yoshiki...Yoshiki..."

The feeling caused me to drown in tears and lose myself in the darkness, in the embrace of the beautiful departed one, as the Negotiation required.

…

# Hidehiko:

Momoe was driving but her focus seemed to be on something else. She looked very different. She wasn’t focused on something she should, rather something that should never be thought of. Acchan’s words ran in my mind again. Have I really felt that for her all this time? Do I love Ai no more? No, I refused to believe that I forgot and replaced her. I pushed the thoughts away.

Other than this, what else bothered me was the letter. When did she get it? I was with her at work all the time and she never took that long of a break to just visit the girl and take the letter. It couldn't be an email because Negotiation letters must be hand-written and making a Riser write a letter was a complicated task. It often came as suspicious to the Riser. What was she hiding?

"Momoe?"   I slowly called her name but she didn't respond. I called again.   "Momoe."

"Huh?"   She glanced at me swiftly and looked back at the road again.   "What is it?"

"When did you get the letter?"

"Why do you ask?"   She asked me instead and very normally. It slightly scared me.

"I just want to know."   I explained.  

"There is no point knowing that. For now, we just have to think about comforting Atsushi."  

Why was she dodging the question? I immediately snapped.  "Stop the car."

"Why? You won't find any buses here."

"Just stop the car."

Momoe sighed and stopped at a side. She looked at me, waiting for an explanation.

"Momoe, how did you get the letter?"   I stood my ground. She exhaled and looked away.

"I got it from the girl."

"Lies."  I muttered.   "You didn't go to the girl. You couldn't have gone to her."   I feared something.    "Momoe...did you write that letter?"

She scoffed.   "Are you serious? That would do nothing. It would be same as reading a bedtime story, he wouldn't pass on. He would just wake up."

"Then tell me the truth."  I insisted making her sigh.

"Fine."   she slapped the steering wheel.   "It came to me."

"When?"

"Yesterday morning. The girl somehow knew my address and...the letter was delivered to me."

"H-how did she know your address?"   It was impossible for them to know a Witness's address because they were not supposed to be given out.

"I don't know."  She was confused just as I was.   "And frankly, I don't want to know."

"Why not?"

Momoe remained silent until I pressured her.   "Why not, Momoe?"

"Because..."   She shut up, unable to find the right words.   "With the letter for Yoshiki, came another letter, for me. It stated why the letter was given to me and how she knew my address."   Momoe licked her lips nervously.   "Hoshino, you won't believe me if I say this...but I think...Ai told her."

I froze. Was she going crazy? Has the job taken a toll on her?  "M-Momoe, this isn't a joke."

She glared at me.   "You think I'd making a fucking joke about Ai?"   She looked away.   "The letter said that a nice lady appeared in her dreams and told her about us. I can't think of anyone else but her."

"Even if it is true, why now? There were two others before Yoshiki, so why now?"

"Simple."  She shrugged.   "Because her brother is in love with an undead. It breaks a lot of protocols and perhaps...some codes of nature."

I tried to figure out her words. When she mentioned 'codes of nature' I could only think of ancient knowledge of the whole system. No way, has she been digging the grave of secrets?

"Momoe...what have you been doing all this time? Ever since you joined?"

She turned to me again, acknowledging that I have realised a portion of her secrets. I asked again.   "Momoe?"

"I..."  Her eyes glittered as if she was caught red-handed.   "I didn't do anything wrong. I have been looking just as anyone would. I'm not the only one who is hunting for the ancient knowledge of this system. Hoshino, we don't know how this...Undead, risers and witnesses system works. Is it magic or science? Guess, if we knew the origins of this thing...we could do a lot."

This side of her scared me. She was not organised. She was not herself. She went on.   "I have looked into our new chief’s details. He wanted to be transferred here. Can you take a guess of his reason?"

I shook my head, wanting to know her point of view.

"It's because he is looking into the same thing and he believes that this thing may have started in Japan because the first records of undead were found here. If that's true and that there is something important about the core, then we should look into it."

"Alright."   I exhaled nervously.  "How will that help Acchan?"

She didn't know the answer. She gulped and took a wild guess.   "Maybe...maybe we can bring some people back."

I almost choked on my breath. She was losing her sanity. I grabbed her shoulder, surprising her and looked into her eyes, trying to find a symptom of her madness. Was she on drugs?

"What?"  she snapped.

"Are you listening to yourself?"   I asked.   "You said...bringing some back from the dead...like not an undead but preventing deaths."

"I know what I said."   she said.   "I know it's unbelievable but the ancient records have mentioned it."

"W-what? What did it mention?"

Her eyes were vacant of reason. Her shaken self was frightening. She mumbled.   "Deja vu."

For some reason, the entire reality seemed non-existent. It seemed that none of this ever existed. We got lost into countless realities.

…

_Atsushi found himself where he least expected. He thought he would never return to this place after his last encounter. However, this was not part of the Negotiation. He should be waking up after a long sleep without any dreams. The Negotiation process took energy from the Keeper Witness, negating him or her from dreaming._

_“Acchan.”_

_He turned around and saw the person he thought he would never see again. He ran to her and pulled her to his chest, almost crying out.  “Ai! Oh, my god, I thought I’d never see you again! I’m not letting you fly away this time.”_

_Ai giggled and hugged him back.   “Silly man. I’m here so you have nothing to worry about.”_

_He didn’t understand, though. He pulled away.   “But, why am I here? Why are you here? We are not supposed to be here in the Negotiation process.”_

_“I am aware of that.”   She said.   “I just couldn’t leave you alone, knowing what you are going through.”_

_He felt a lump in his throat, realising that Yoshiki was no more. Ai caressed his face and said.   “Which is why you are given another chance that you cannot refuse.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_Ai smiled and inserted her hand in Atsushi’s coat. She took out Yoshiki’s diary and explained.   “Know this Acchan, this is a rare gift but not uncommon. You are not the first one who has been offered this and there is no choice. There are certain criteria to fulfil and you both fit the criteria."_

_Atsushi didn't understand anything.   "Ai, I don't understand. What is this about?"_

_"Certain partings can be prevented-suicide and murder but not a disease, natural death or accidents. You have but one chance to make it right, after which everything will change. This will not cause any chaotic paradoxes, so don't worry."_

_"W-what?"   Atsushi still didn't grasp what she said.   "What criteria?"_

_"When an undead and a witness falls in love and when that undead's cause of death is either suicide or murder, they are given another chance."_

_"H-how? W-why?"   Atsushi stammered, unable to handle the information.   "Ai, Yoshiki is already gone. What are you talking about? And what do you mean it happened before?"_

_"Acchan, Yoshiki is still on Earth. His soul has not departed yet. He is not allowed to pass on. The others before you faced the same dilemma. There were two others before you and now they are living happily, without knowing that this ever happened. You might even know them."_

_"But Ai, it's impossible! It defies all logic and science and..."_

_She silenced him with her hand. She understood the frustration but they didn't have time.   "You don't have a choice. To be honest, me appearing in your dream defies all logic and science and yet here I am. The Undead exists despite science says otherwise. My dear brother, don't fret and do what you feel it right. Get him back."_

_Atsushi exhaled, finally able to believe his sister's words. But he had questions.   "What about you?"_

_She weakly smiled.   "What about me? I will pass on."_

_"No, I mean...will I see you in my dreams again? Will I remember you ever appearing in my dreams?"_

_She shook her head disappointingly.   "Sadly, it is a price every lover has to pay."_

_Atsushi couldn't help it. He broke down in his sister's arms, apologising for his selfish feelings. Forgetting Ai would be like losing her again. He didn't want that. She comforted him, assuring him that she will be happy in heaven with their parents. He should not be worried._

_"Go now."  She said.   "It's time."_

_Atsushi sniffed and pulled away, noticing a door. He looked at her once again asking.   "What of Momoe and Hide?"_

_She heaved.   "Well, things will be the same between them, with slight irrelevant changes. They will be fine. You will all be fine. Certain moments will feel familiar but it won't pose any problems."_

_"So...this is the last time I'm seeing you?"   He asked and she nodded, much to his dismay._

_"You can't have both pasta and pie. And you can't choose, so it is chosen for you."   She smirked teasingly but the sadness was apparent on her face. She returned the diary to him, saying.   "Good luck."_

_Atsushi held the knob and felt the wind when he opened the door. The other side was too bright for him to keep his eyes open. So he passed to the other side, hearing his sister's words fade._

_Upon reaching the other side, Atsushi found dawn. He looked around to see where he was and he noticed the small house with the blue roof._

_"This..."   He looked to his side and found a newspaper stuck to the utility pole. He looked closely at the date and was dumbfounded. The date was familiar. It was the year Yoshiki was born but not the month. It was precisely 9 months early._

_He looked at the house again, knowing this was the day when his mother became pregnant with him. This was also the day when his father was diagnosed with cancer. He wondered whether it has happened yet. He approached the house but stopped when he saw a young man in his mid-20s getting out of the house for jogging. He looked similar to Yoshiki but manlier. The man tightened his shoelace and ran off to the park and Atsushi followed him. Once he reached the park, the man suddenly felt fatigued. He felt his upper-lip wet and when he tried to wipe it, he saw blood._

_"W-what?"   He felt dizzy and almost fell but Atsushi caught him._

_"Mister Hayashi!"   He gave away unintentionally and led him to a bench, helping him to stop the bleeding. He lent his handkerchief and the man thanked him. The bleeding stopped but he murmured._

_"I need to go to the hospital. This is getting very frequent."   Then he realised that the man took his surname.  "Hold on a second. Who are you and how do you know my name?"_

_Atsushi didn't know what to say. Any alteration could bring devastating results. However, Ai's words repeated. She said not to worry about chaotic paradoxes and do what he felt was right._

_"Well?"   He waited._

_"Mister Hayashi. I am Atsushi Sakurai and...I'm here to...warn you about...about...your family."_

_"My family?"  He frowned.   "What about my family?"_

_"You must believe me when I say this."   Atsushi hoped he believed him.   "You have leukaemia."_

_The man was astonished, he almost sprang up but the fatigue disallowed him. He grunted.    "What the hell are you talking about?! Who are you?!"_

_Atsushi mustered up his courage and let it all out.   "I am Atsushi Sakurai from 2015. I'm here to help you and your unborn son, Yoshiki Hayashi."_

_"M-my son? But my wife isn't even..."_

_"She is pregnant and today is the day she will know along with your cancer diagnosis."_

_"A-are you crazy?"   he was slightly scared.   "Future and what?"   He was also confused._

_Atsushi didn't wait. He took out the diary and handed it to him. The man looked at it and asked.   "What is it?"_

_"It's your son's diary. If what I said, doesn't turn out to be true, you can do whatever you wish. But if your wife announces her pregnancy and you are diagnosed, you must read this diary and know what happened to your son in the future."_

_"Why? What happens in the future?"   Mister Hayashi sarcastic asked._

_"Your son commits suicide."   Atsushi answered dreadfully._

_The colour faded from his face. This was a joke no more._

_"What the hell is this?"   He clenched._

_"Just read..."   He pushed the diary to him. The man slowly took the diary and opened it much to Atsushi's surprise. This was the purpose of the diary. The man read out loud._

_"Yoshiki Hayashi, the year 2003..."   His eyes widened.    "It...can't be."   He read few paragraphs and looked at Atsushi.   "You must tell me. How is this possible?"_

_"I don't know."   Atsushi didn't have the time to answer with details.   "Just observe today's events and you can decide for yourself."_

_"But you can tell me as to what led to this."_

_That, he could and he did so painfully.   "You left them because you thought that your wife would outlive you and they would be fine without you. However, your wife dies first and he is sent to your brother where your nephew...sexually abuses him."_

_The man shut the diary and caught his breath. He refused to believe it but he couldn't just shove it away because he saw his nephew's name in the diary and his uncle's cruel nature._

_"F-fine."   He just agreed for now.   "Let's say that it's true, what do I need to do?"_

_Atsushi tried not to be furious because of this man's pretences. He muttered.   "You will not leave them, no matter what. No matter what happens, you will not leave them."_

_The man gulped and nervously nodded. However, upon looking at Atsushi, he gasped. The man was fading, right in front of him. He could see right through him.   "Wh-what's wrong with your body?"_

_Atsushi looked at his body and noticed himself fading. He realised that it worked. His work paid off. He smiled at the man and said._

_"Don't leave Yoshiki."_

_"Atsushi!"   He jumped up and tried to catch him but he vanished out of his reach._

_Hayashi remained stunned and he looked down at the diary._

_"Yoshiki..."  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I purposely kept their hands to themselves. I didn't want it to be physical.


	15. Final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a long chapter, summarising the changes in one. You might need to pay attention to the details to understand the changes.

* * *

I drove to the hospital with the windows rolled down. It was 14 degrees in Fujioka and the sky was dark. The absence of sunlight made me shiver and I feared that it would rain. I arrived before my fear manifested into reality and I rushed into the corridor. The atmosphere, however, was colder than outside. I detested the cold.

The sound of the TV caught my attention momentarily, with the news of the murder of a celebrity’s father. I stopped and looked at the TV as I heard the celebrity was in protective custody. There was something amiss about the news. It felt extremely important.

I snapped back to reality and the nurse led me to the deeper and colder part of the hospital-the morgue. He was waiting, my colleague, in his white lab coat amidst of many dead bodies. He noticed my arrival and the nurse left. He smiled at me.

"Acchan, thank you for coming."    My colleague-Yagami Toll-said to me. He hugged me as I greeted him, oddly feeling the déjà vu.

“Anii.”  

"This is the body I want you to look at."     He uncovered the face of the body and revealed a middle aged male, devoid of colour. It felt a little out of place. This moment felt familiar but the body did not.

"His name’s Toru Hayashi, a murder victim and the father of Yoshiki Hayashi."  He said.  

I turned to Anii, almost shocked.  “Yoshiki Hayashi? The Yoshiki Hayashi? What happened?”

“Apparently, he died trying to save his son from a rapist who broke into his room in the middle of the day.”

“Really?”   That came as a shock.   “And the bodyguards didn’t see it?”

“No, the criminal was an expert burglar but the poor bastard died in the hands of this man.”   He pointed at the older body.  

“But turns out he was already suffering from leukaemia for a long time and was very close to death and weirdly enough, the burglar/rapist was also suffering from leukaemia. I had this sick feeling that they were father and son. But, thank god, they are not father and son. It’s just a coincidence. The criminal is just a prostitute’s son who, unluckily, was born with cancer. Well, his body has been sent to Kyoto, where he is actually from while Toru Hayashi has been dumped on us.”

Anii explained and took the blanket further down his body, revealing his chest. The mark was obvious. The petals were engraved on his skin. It was the mark of the undead.

“It's quite obvious who the Riser is.”   He said.  

"But why is he here?" I asked.   "As far as I know, they should be in Kyoto and a celebrity's father’s case should be handled by a bigger branch."

Anii shrugged.   “I heard they came to Gunma on his father's request. The rest, I have no clue. You know what to do. I’ll leave you to do it.”   He walked past me, encouraging me with a pat on the back.   “You can call Hide if you want.”

“I can manage.”   Was my answer. He shrugged and left the morgue.

I looked at the man, having the eerie feeling of knowing this man. But I pushed the thoughts away and covered his body. Now all I needed to wait for was the cold lone night.

When the night fell and the footsteps reduced outside the morgue, I decided to treat myself with some free coffee. Fortunately, most of the staff were gone. My attention turned to the news again which repeated the incidents of the celebrity's father's death along with other news such as his cousin's arrest for an indecent assault on two men and of being stalked by a postman. This man was shrouded with bad fortune.

On my way back, I heard thumping noises from the morgue. It was time. I put my coffee back and returned to the morgue. The body was not on the bed. I took my torch and pointed the light at every corner until I found him cowering in the corner.

I slowly walked to him but with each step, his whimpers loudened. I raised my hand, surrendering myself to his fear.   “It’s okay…”   I whispered and put the torch down and got on my knees.   “I am here to help.”

The man panted, unable to breathe properly.   “I won’t harm you.”   I spoke softly as possible. Undead like him was very sensitive to rebirth.    “I want to help you.”

“Why am I here? Why am I back?”   he stammered.

“Hayashi…”   I called him and he finally looked at me clearly. I continued.   “Hayashi…my name is Atsushi Sakurai and I help people like you. Don’t fear me.”

“At-Atsushi? Atsushi Sakurai?”   It was obvious that he didn’t understand, like many before him.   "Is it really you?"

“Yes?”   I answered questioningly, wondering why he asked so. I sat comfortably and explained.   “You died but you were brought back to life by your son. We need to talk to your son so you can pass peacefully to the afterlife.”

“My son!”   he exclaimed.   “Where is my son?!”

“He is under protective custody.”   I answered which calmed him down.   “Just let me help you.” However, he didn't seem to listen to what I said after mentioning his son. He remained looking at my face. I added.

“I never thought that I'd see you…”   He whispered. I didn’t understand what he meant, though. I took off my coat and slowly went to him. Carefully I put it on him, asking.

“Will you come with me? Will you let me help you?”

Hayashi grabbed the coat and covered himself. He slowly nodded. I picked the old man carefully and walked out of the cold. My coffee remained in the hospital, untouched. It was raining outside in the middle of the night. I quickly went to my car and got him in and I drove back to my home. Hayashi was quiet, something I appreciated, however, his gaze was making me uncomfortable.

I focused on the road, hoping he would be comfortable at my home. He was my third assignment since my job started a year ago. I took him my room and laid out some clothes from my wardrobe despite his stare. I left my room for him to change and returned with a glass of water. I gave him the water which he eagerly received and drank. I sat on the stool beside him, trying to avoid his eyes. I started.  

“I know this is hard for you, Hayashi, but you have to know and understand that you are still dead. The mark on your chest is proof that someone asked you back and we are quite sure that it is your son.”

Hayashi was not shocked. In fact, he was indifferent. He was able to move his legs and said.

“I am aware.”   Exhaling heavily. I became rigid. How was he able to handle this so casually?    "But I need to know few things if you don't mind."

I didn't have to wonder what he wanted to know. Some undead were curious creatures.   "Yes, anything."

"Do you know my son?"

I blinked twice nervously, wondering he would ask me that. I nodded.   "Who doesn't? He is the famous musician."

"Oh..."   He looked a little disappointed. Have I answered his question incorrectly?       "So, you don't remember."   He murmured to himself, much to my curiosity. I added anyway.

"I will meet your son tomorrow, for you to, you know...pass on."

He looked at me with curiosity again.   "Can I come with you?"

"Unfortunately, no. Your son must not see you, otherwise, he might be traumatised."

I expected him to be disappointed, instead, he nodded very understandingly.

“I'll let you sleep for now."

I left the man in my room and passed to the next room. Feeling slightly uncomfortable around the pinkness, I fell on the bed and looked at the pictures of the girl on the wall. I missed her...I missed my sister so much.

…

The next morning Momoe dropped by and helped herself in the kitchen. She inquired about the undead as she cooked for me and I answered.

"I don't know. He seems a little...different."

She looked at me, not understanding what I meant. I cleared.   "Well...he just keeps staring at me and...I can't put my finger on it."

"Maybe he knew you when he was alive."

"But I've never seen him before."   I said.   "How will he know me? To be honest, I don't even know much about his son, Yoshiki Hayashi."

“His life is not much of a mystery. His father was diagnosed with cancer before he was born and his mother died suddenly when he was ten. His father took care of him all his life and supported him throughout his musical career. None of his fans knew that he had other relatives until his cousin was arrested for sexual assault. Stalked by a lunatic and just when he thought he was safe when the postman was arrested, this freak came out of nowhere wanting to rape him and his father dying in the hands of the criminal.”

I kept staring at her until she noticed. She nervously cleared her throat and explained.   "I…I am fond of his music."

"No, I have no doubts. I am only awed that this man has all the bad luck despite having the fame."   I said.   "It's sad."

"You will meet him today, you said?"   she asked and I nodded.

The doorbell rang again which caused me cold feet. I had a hunch about the visitor and didn’t want to open the door. Momoe observed my face went to the door, pulling up her sleeves. However, it was not who I thought.

“Hide.”   I exhaled and went to hug him.   “You look terrible.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”   He smiled.

“You wasted the break then.”

Hide chuckled and greeted Momoe but she ignored and went back to the kitchen.

“How is he?”

I didn’t know how to term his feelings.  “Indifferent.”   It was the best I could come up with.

Momoe quietly served the food and waited till we ate it. Afterwards, she threw the dishes in the washer.

“I’ll check on him.”   I left my seat and went to his door.   “Hayashi?"

He was already sitting on the bed and looked at me. I forced a smile to ease myself.  

“Um...I have some friends who would like to help you. They are both good people and want to meet you.”  And I became nervous with his monotonous expression.   “Would you like to meet them?”

"Of course."

Momoe and Hide made themselves comfortable and Hide explained first.

“Mister Hayashi, I am sure you have a lot of questions but we would like to let you know that your riser, your son, needs to let you go so you can ascend peacefully. Do you understand?"

He blinked few times and nodded.   "I do."

The other two were taken off guard. They never saw an undead who was so okay with his situation. It bothered us all. I added.

"Then we will leave the apartment to you. You can do whatever you want. You can watch tv or use the net but you cannot go outside. Being a celebrity's father, you don't want any media's attention."

He understood and we left the apartment, feeling slightly odd with his reactions.

"Is it me, or is that man too content with his situation?"   Hide asked.

"He is too calm and it makes me very uncomfortable."   Momoe expressed, something she rarely did.

"Try having him to stare at you."  I added and walked to the door but a certain cheery voice startled me. 

“Keiko.”   I bowed curtly to her wide smile.

“Hi, Acchan, where were you last night? I never saw you return.”  She asked almost demandingly. I never liked it when she addressed me with that name. We shared few words with Keiko throwing glares at Momoe while sweetly talking to me. We excused of being late and she returned to her room after leaving a distasteful statement. Hide snickered because he found it amusing and I thanked Momoe.

Anii was waiting for us along with his brother, Yutaka Higuchi and his friend, Hisashi Imai. Hide and I hugged them while Momoe remained afar. Yuta started by putting out a report on the table.

"Well, as we know who this man is, father of an idol. His son is in protective custody but he is demanding to see his father's body. The police managed to tell him that the body is in the morgue for funeral purposes but I don't think we can fool him any longer."

"You’ve met him?”   Hide asked and Yuta shook his head.

“With all the fuss, I thought it was best to stay out. Although I would have liked to.”   He confessed.

“Why are we in charge of this case in the first place?"   I asked.

“Well, procedurally, the Kyoto branch should be in charge of this case and the undead but due to an overload of work, they handed the work down to us, also considering the fact that they were here when the incident happened.”   Imai answered.

“So all we have to do is meet the son for the letter.”   I made sure and they nodded.

"What happened to the criminal's body?"   Momoe asked.

"Kiyoharu."   Yuta mentioned his name which sounded very familiar.   "His body has been sent back to Kyoto. His mother was frantic about it."

"So, how is the undead?"   Anii asked.

"He is...not like anyone I've met before."   I honestly answered.  "He is too calm."

"Should be no problem then."  He laughed.   "They are the best when calm. You should head out now. Yuta already set a meeting."

I nodded and noticed Hide lost in thought at his desk. I knew where his eyes were. It was in the picture of her.

Ai…

Hide was discreet with his emotions because of me. I didn’t want him to feel that way. I wanted him to move on and love again but I doubted that he ever will.

I took the file and left. I had everything I needed to meet him, aware of the tight security around him. The apartment was small, something I did not expect a popular idol to have. I read that the father and son rented this place to avoid public eyes.

The bodyguard let me enter and I helped myself inside the room the idol was in. He was shouting on the phone about his father's body. It was a common sight as many loved ones of the undead often inquired about the bodies. He was no different. I could only see his back. His white blouse fitted him perfectly and his long curly hair fell to his waist. Like an idiot, I stumbled into the room.

"Who is it?"   He turned around, without hanging up. The glare caught my breath. The man was beyond beautiful and more so in reality. I wondered why I never realised this before. However, I stammered like a retard.

"Um...I'm Atsushi Sakurai."   I took out my ID.   "W-we had an appointment."

The idol gaped at me for 10 good seconds, scanning my face. He calmed down and put his phone down. He looked a little embarrassed because of his temperament.   "I...I was expecting a knock."

I flushed, embarrassed by my lack of manners as I bowed.   "I apologise. I didn't want to disturb your conversation. Am I here at an odd time?"

He looked away from me as I noticed the familiar flushing cheeks.   “I’m preparing to move to a new place.”       He met my eyes again as if he realised something.   "You said that you are Atsushi Sakurai?"

"Yes."

"Did you know my father?"

Why would he think that I would know his father?   "No, Mr. Hayashi."

"Yoshiki."   He corrected and it took me a while to understand.

"Sorry?"

"Call me...call me Yoshiki."   He licked his lips nervously and gestured me to sit. I obliged and nodded.

"Of course, Yoshiki. I never knew your father."  It was worrying because his father was acting similarly strange.

"It's...it's fine then."   He went to the open plan kitchen, helping himself some drink.   "I'll make you some coffee. Two spoons of sugar and no milk, right?"

I was slightly taken aback that he knew how I liked it. It was scary because it was too specific.  "Y-yes."   I nodded and he went on. I had to muster up my courage and ask him for the letter.   "Mister...I mean Yoshiki...I know that this is a troubling time for you but I've been sent on behalf of the police to analyse your..."   I rephrased.   "I've been sent here for your psychological screening."

He looked at me, almost dreadfully.   "So, they think I need a shrink."

"Don't take it the wrong way, I'm here to..."

"Of course, I'm taking it the wrong way."  He muttered angrily.   "I saw my father die before me in this very room in the hands of a man who tried to rape me!”

“They are only concerned about your health.”   I explained despite sharing his view.   “They want to make sure that you cope with this in a healthy way.”

"Cope in a healthy way? Tell me, Mr. Sakurai how would you cope in a healthy way knowing your life is constantly under threat from stalkers and crazy people, one of who is still alive in the asylum and another is the cause of your father’s death because he was trying to save your life?!”   His eyes watered and he angrily sniffed.

“My life may seem easy on the outside because I’m oh-so-famous. It’s been nothing but a disaster since I ventured into this world! First, my mother and now my father...my life is nothing without them."   He wiped the tears, not caring of my presence.  

"My cousin didn't help either. He turned out to be a freaking sex-offender, as father suspected. How am I supposed to be okay after all of this?! I don't need any shrink, I need to know where my father is!"

He slammed on the cabin, scaring the life out of me. Before he injured his hand from the stove, I grabbed his wrists, exclaiming.

"Stop hurting yourself!"

He looked at me, teary eyed, almost desperately. The sparkling orbs stopped my breath, overflowing with emotions. Those eyes said so much. Those eyes saw too much. My blood pressure rose with my heartbeat. I shivered all of a sudden and whimpered.

"It's not your fault..."   I had no idea why I said that. I was not supposed to comfort a Riser. I had no business in his life. Why was I, then, holding his wrists, trying to stop him from hurting and blaming himself? Why was I so close to him?

He kept staring at me, like looking through me. I quickly freed him and moved away, apologising.   "I'm sorry for...I was just..."   I quickly composed myself.

Yoshiki stepped back too, as much as it bothered me. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. He walked to his wardrobe and took out something. He held it out to me. It was a diary and I looked at him questioningly.

"Father mentioned your name often when I was young. He said that I should give you this diary. Which was why I asked you whether you knew him."

"No..."   I took the diary and opened it. I flipped the paged and was surprised.   "It's empty. I don't understand."

"Neither do I."   He composed himself.    "My father was quite the man. He someone knew a lot of stuff. He made sure that I always stayed out of trouble. He even told me to stay away from my cousin. When I asked him for the reason, he said that he will...he will hurt me and I didn't believe him but after Sugizo was arrested, I understood what he meant. He made some very good decisions in my life. I am sure this has some meaning too if only I could ask him."

I understood the impact his father had on him. The man was a mystery to me too. However, I wondered why he told me all of this. Half of me knew that his life was not private, therefore repeating them was obvious but the other half expected them to be the intimate details of his life and he trusted me enough to share them.

"Yoshiki, as much as it is not my business and I know that it will be very difficult for you to do so...I will ask anyway...can you move on?"

I expected him to glare at me but instead, he gave me a defeated look. He honestly answered me.

"No..."

I nodded.   "I understand but if you can...please ask of me. I'll come and help you."

He looked at me as I went to the door to leave. But he called.   "Wait."

He took a pen and a paper. He wrote something on it and gave it to me. I was curious but saw an address on the paper. He explained.   "It's my new address in Fujioka. When I call you, please visit me at this address."

I was awed by his level of trust in me. I was merely a shrink to him. He thanked me and I left hastily. My breath broke out once I stepped outside. The meeting was small but smothering. I never knew that an idol would weight on me this much. I could imagine the criminal’s compulsions, however, I could not share them. My feelings were different. I could only think of soothing the man, instead of hurting him.

“What’s wrong with me?”   I looked at the address and the diary. I had a feeling that this diary had something significant. I put the diary and the address in my coat pocket and returned to the office.

It started raining when I returned home and found the undead watching TV. He was looking at the news of his son and didn’t notice my presence. This felt very weird that I was uncomfortable in my own house.

“Mr. Hayashi?”   I called and he turned to me.

“Yes.”   He muted the TV and I took a seat. I took out the diary and showed it to him. He looked at the empty paged and smiled.   “It’s empty.”

“Is it supposed to mean something?”   I asked.

He looked at me.   “Only to be rewritten. Nothing more. How is he?”

“He is desperate to see you but not let you go.”   I answered heavily.   “He is losing himself. He is too alone.”   I was surprised at my own voice.

“That is life.”   He sighed.   “He needs to venture out on his own now.”

“He doesn’t need to be alone.”   I defended Yoshiki.   “No one deserves to be alone.”

He eyed me teasingly and said.   “Well, then you can accompany him.”

I blushed and left my seat.   “Y-you are not being honest here. How do you know my name?”   I quickly changed the subject.

He leant back.   “I don’t know. It just came to me.”

“Lies.”

“Will you believe me if I told you that you came to me in the past?”  he raised an eyebrow.

“Of course, not. It’s not possible.”   This man was crazy.

“Then it doesn’t matter.”   He left the sofa and yawned.   “All that matters is the future. God, why am I so sleepy? Well, I shall hit for the night. Goodnight.”   he walked to my room shamelessly and shut the door. I stood there stunned by his straightforwardness. I huffed and turned the TV off, stomping to my sister’s room for a good night sleep.

However, something didn’t seem right when I entered the room. Unlike the previous times, destitution crept in. The emptiness was too deep and unbearable. I felt that someone else was supposed to be in this room. The existence of this unknown being lingered. I tried to sleep despite the creeping vacuum and I miserably failed.

…

Never before has an undead managed to annoy me as much as this one did. He was prancing around the house as he wished and helped himself with everything. Although I did allow him to do whatever he wished, I was expecting a little un-presuming behaviour. I went to the office early but I wasn’t the only early bird. I heard two people sneezing. Momoe and Hide were both surrounded by tissues. Turns out, they were out in the rain last night, for reasons I didn’t ask. I assumed they were either out for a drink or to visit my sister.

Imai and Yuta and arrived at the office and was startled by the sound of sneezes and blowing noses. Anii arrived at last.

“This is why I prefer dead people. They aren’t contagious.”   Anii snickered.

I quickly got to work with documents from other branches. All of us lost time due to heavy loads and none of us could take any breaks except bathroom and lunch breaks. However, were able to finish during sunset when Imai returned from a break and said.

"Acchan, the undead's son has left a message for you at the station. Says it's urgent."

I felt the eyes on me immediately. Of course, it was a little peculiar that the Riser would be ready so quickly. Hide and Momoe urged that I leave before it rained and I complied.

The cloud grumbled, warning me of the oncoming rain. I drove to the address which was situated in a quiet area. The rain was not too far behind. I knocked on the door hastily fearing that it would rain on me. Fortunately, the door opened and our eyes met. It was apparent that he hadn't slept a wink. The dullness of his eyes, however, didn't demote the overall handsomeness. He allowed me to enter and asked me for a drink.

"Just coffee, thank you."   I nervously smiled and took a seat while he made coffee for us. I glanced at his outlines, realising the slimness despite being a man.  I averted my eyes, feeling slightly guilty for memorising his features so shamelessly. He didn't notice, though. He brought us the coffee and took a seat opposite me.

"I..."   he breathed out which stopped my breath.   "I am sorry for calling you like this."

I looked at him and noticed the weariness in his eyes. I leant forward.   "Haven't you slept at all?"

"I couldn't."   he was shaken.   "I was...I was occupied."

"Yoshiki, you look sick."   I got worried the way he blinked. He looked as if he would break.   "Let me take you to the hospital."   I suggested but he refused and chuckled.

"No, that's kind of you, something I expected from you...or almost knew about you. You...you are a very impressionable being."   He looked at me which was upsetting. I felt guilty for making him feel this way and I had no clue why.

"Y-you can tell me if something is bothering you."   I tried to disregard the previous statement.   "I might be able to help."

He chuckled again, which irked me. He was mocking and hurting himself, something I didn't want for him.   "Yes...something is bothering me but can you help?"   He asked sluggishly.   "Can you help me if I tell you that the problem is...you?"

"M-me?"   I didn't understand why the idol blamed me for his suffering.   "Am I causing problems for you?"

He refused.   "It's me...it's all me. I am to blame for feeling this way."   He left the couch and almost fell over when I held him. I suddenly felt the warm temperature on his skin. He was feverish.

"Yoshiki, you have a fever."   I whimpered but he kept smiling like a drunkard and mumbled.

"You...you are special. You can…never hurt me."   And he almost fainted in my arms.

“Yoshiki!”    I panicked, quickly picking him up and taking him to his room. I took my phone to call the doctor but he mumbled weakly.

“Please…don’t call anyone…please…”

I sat beside him and grabbed his hand.   “It’s okay. I’m here. Just let me call the doctor.”

“No…”   he stubbornly refused and gripped my hand.   “Just stay with me…please…please.”

Even though the logical solution was to refuse him and call the doctor, I found myself giving into his request. Something inside pushed me to care for this man alone. I put the phone away and soaked a towel in the sink. Coming back to him, I dabbed it on his forehead. He was burning up.

“Yoshiki, you need a doctor.”   I worried.   “Please, let me call one for you.”

However, he was adamant. He refused to let go of my hand while I tried reducing the temperature. I didn’t know what else to do. It brought bad memories of the times when I was helpless during my sister’s sickness. I couldn’t control my eyes which poured down and unfortunately, the idol noticed.

“A-Atsushi?”   He took my first name for the first time and he touched the tears with his delicate fingers.  “You…you are crying?”

“I’m sorry.”   I sniffed and wiped the tears.   “I’m just worried.”

“It’s just a fever, nothing much.”   He weakly said.   “I won’t die, Acchan.”

“W-what did you call me?”   I froze which confused him. He realised, too, a moment later and he clutched his head.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I don’t know why I called you that.”   He hastily apologised.   “It just came to me, I am so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”   He whimpered and covered his eyes, feeling embarrassed.

“There is nothing wrong with you.”  I defended him, despite worrying that he knew my pet name.  

“There is. You don’t understand.”  He broke down.   “It’s so complicated that it hurts my head. I am feeling these…these things that I don’t understand and I know that I need to let go of my father but I can't do it. It’s scary that I think I know what will happen if I do let go. But…”   he cried and turned to his side.

I held his shoulder lightly.   “You don’t have to force yourself. Your decision matters.”

Yoshiki turned to me, surprised by my statement. I felt that he would say something, at least, that’s what I was expecting. Instead, he asked.   “Who are you? Really?”

“I’m just a psychologist.”   I lied and weakly smiled. But he looked disappointed as if he didn’t expect that answer. What did he expect, then? I was so confused by his behaviour but at the same time, I had a feeling that I knew what he wanted. It muddled me more.

He looked away and muttered.   “You can go home. I’ll be okay.”

Feeling a pang of disappointment, I blurted.   “B-but you don’t want to call the doctors. How will you be okay alone?”

“That’s my problem.”   He refused to look at me.   “Go back.”   He left the bed before I could hold him back and rushed to the bathroom. I remained sitting there idle, feeling stupid. Have I disappointed him somehow? I couldn’t figure this man out at all.

But at the same time, I sort of knew what he wanted and yet I refused to believe that he would want it. I couldn’t term what it is. It was feelings for longing and of course, I’d have trouble believing that an idol would want my presence. I was nothing but a shrink to him. The logical side of me advised me to leave and not to delve into this matter. The more irrational side told me to stay with him. I was torn…

As if I already decided, I left the bed and walked to the bathroom door. it wasn’t locked and I could hear the shower running. I thought to leave him to his shower when I heard a thump. Instinctively I barged inside and saw him on the floor of his shower-stand. He was still clothed but soaked heavily. He wasn’t taking a shower, he was merely getting drenched to get sicker. This crazy man…

“Yoshiki!”   I rushed to his body, uncaring of the shower sopping me. I tried to get him up but he pushed me away, shouting.

“Don’t touch me! I don’t need your help!”

“Don’t be a fool! You’ll get sicker if you don’t get out of this shower!”   I tried to turn the water off but he slapped my hands away.

“I don’t need you to care for me! I don’t need anyone! Just leave me alone!”

“No!”   I finally had the courage to shout back and he glared at me.   “I can't stop caring about you, so stop asking me so.”

His eyes burned under the water and I turned it off. Against his stubborn wish, I picked him up and exited the bathroom. He shivered terribly and I quickly took out some clothes without asking for his permission. I took a towel and sat beside him to dry his hair while he gaped at me. The silence stretched until I broke it.  “I’ll leave you to change and make you something warm to drink.”

I was about to leave but he grabbed my hand. He silently said.   “Take some clothes for you too…otherwise, you’ll catch a cold.”

It wasn’t surprising that he thought of me. I couldn’t help but give him a smile and borrow some clothes, hoping that they would fit me. I left him and quickly changed and realised that I was right. It was a little tight. I permitted myself in the kitchen and made us some fresh coffee and took it to his room. He was already dressed but he didn’t look any better.

He tried not to snigger that I struggled with his shirt, specially under the arms. He looked away and thanked me for the coffee.   “I’m sorry for getting you in this mess.”

I simply did not understand this man. One moment he is angry and the next he is fine. It did not bother me, though, it just…amused me. I sat beside him and checked his temperature. I asked him again.

“You sure that you don’t want a doctor?”   I asked and he refused.

“I’ll be okay. You can go and thank you for coming.”

Honestly, I didn’t want to leave but I didn’t express that. I asked him something more important.   “You know…you never really told me why you called me here.”

He stammered.   “I…I just…I don’t know how to say this and it will sound weird to you because this has nothing to do with my psychological screening. It has to do with my father.”

I waited for him to continue, an opportunity he gladly took.

“I don’t think I am ready to write the letter.”

For a whole minute we stared at each other, obviously baffled. Of course, he nervously laughed and said.   “I don’t even know what it means. It just came to me, for no reason and I felt that I should tell you. I don’t know why…I’m going crazy over my father.”

He wasn’t going crazy. He was making me crazy. I couldn’t guess how he could come by the random and yet correct thought of the Negotiation process. Who was he? What shocked me more was myself when I took his face and looked him in the eye, assuring him.  

“You are not crazy and you don’t have to do what you don’t want to.”

“But I feel that I must, otherwise he will never be in peace.”  He whimpered.   “I can't deny him the heavens. I can't be that selfish.”

A sense of déjà vu hit me again. What was going on with me? I, nevertheless, said.   “I’ll stay for the time being.”

He looked at me widely but didn’t argue. I assumed the medicines were in the drawer of the nightstand and took out one. He put one in his mouth and gulped it down.   “Lie down, I’ll keep watch.”

He obeyed and lay down as I put the quilt on him and turned the lights off. I texted Momoe and Hide that I won’t return and they replied assuring that it was fine. I even took my precious time to call my apartment to check on his father. Surprisingly, he was enjoying the solitude, watching TV and using the web.

I allowed myself to use the dryer in the kitchen for my clothes and looked around the house. The pictures were mostly of him with his father. His mother had few pictures. She was a beautiful woman and Yoshiki mostly looked like her. I could understand the troubles he was having because of his dysfunctional life. However, I had a feeling that he was no ordinary Riser.

When I returned to the room, Yoshiki was fast asleep. The fever must have tired him out. I took a spare blanket and helped myself on the couch, however, he gripped my sleeve. He looked at me weakly, pleading like a kid.    “I’m too cold…please stay with me.”

“I’m here.”   I assured him.

He gulped and cleared.   “Please, hold me...stay the night.”

My mind screamed out. I was shocked that the idol asked me to stayover and moreover, he asked me to share the bed. I didn’t know what to do until he revoked his statement, which was what made me confident of my decision.

I complied and lay under the quilt with him. He, immediately snuggled up to my chest, shivering. His body was warmer than mine and something I couldn’t feel familiar with. He breathed on my collarbone and shivered often from the fever. I hoped that my body temperature would reduce the fever. His hair covered half of his face and I slowly removed it, holding him closer to let him sleep.

Yoshiki’s whimper woke me up and what seemed like minutes were actually an hour. He mumbled in his sleep, clutching my shoulders. He was having a nightmare, I assumed. I tried to calm him down.

“It’s okay, shhh…It’s fine.”   I could not pity the man having to see his father die in blood. Rather, I shared his feelings of losing someone in front of his eyes. A sudden urge sparked in me to kiss him but the other me reprimanded that I should not do so. I listened to the ‘other me’ and calmed him down. However, he ended up crying on my chest, calling for his father. Oh, it was a tragic sight. My eyes burned, unable to help my emotions. I hugged him and assured him that everything was okay.

“Don’t leave me…please don’t leave me, Acchan.”

I don’t know how he knew my pet name but I didn’t care. He needed help and I was more than happy to help him.

“I won’t leave you.”  I was honest with him. I didn’t want to leave him.   “I promise.”

Few minutes passed till my eyes finally squinted sleepily. I gave into the slumber happily.

…

My sleep broke with the smell of coffee and pancakes. I sat up and realised Yoshiki’s absence. I quickly rushed to the kitchen, seeing him making breakfast. He noticed my presence and greeted me warmly.

“Morning, I made breakfast.”

“I’m so sorry for imposing on you but thank you.”   I grinned.

“It’s no imposition. You stayed with me last night and a breakfast is the least I could do.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better.”  He smiled.   “Your body temperature helped.”

I blushed and looked away and scurried to him, trying to change the subject.   “Let me help you. You might still be weak after the fever.”

“I assure you, I’m okay.”   He said.   “Please, let me make you something to eat. I’m not a bad cook.”

“N-no, of course not.”   I had no intention to insult him like that but my flustered-self, made him laugh. I assumed that he was thinking me as a poor old man who was blushing like a maiden. I was awed how he cut so swiftly.

“Who taught you to cook?”   I asked without feeling nervous.

“My father.”   He replied softly.   “He…taught me most of the house works.”

It brought some memories to him. I tried to cheer him up.

“You learned well.”   I said.  

“He was a good teacher.”   Yoshiki said and put the chopped vegetables in the pan.

“I never learned to cook despite living with a woman most of my life.”   I chuckled.   “I can cook but it’s horrible. She could never eat it.”

“She?”   He asked me.

“My sister, Ai.”   I replied. I saw him repeating her name silently. He must have liked the name.

 “Your sister. How old is she?”

I felt my heart drop, not knowing how to answer that. I nevertheless smiled.   “She was 23 when died of cancer.”

Yoshiki looked at me wide eyed. He felt guilty asking me about this but he decided not to say sorry. I guess he knew that there was no point. I chuckled and said.   “Ai wasn’t sad, though. She lived her life happily as best as she could. She had Hide, Momoe and me so…I hope that she left without regrets.”

“Your friends, I presume.”   Yoshiki licked his lips nervously, wanting to know more.   “Can I…can I ask about your parents?”

“You can.”  I nodded.   “They passed away when I was 18, leaving my sister to me. It was tough but I managed to raise her with Hide’s and Momoe’s help.”

Yoshiki looked down and hummed. He said.   “I’d like to meet them.”

I was glad that he wanted to meet them. I wanted him to get acquainted with them, specially Momoe. I added.    “You would like Momoe, she is scary. Hide is the only one who seems to like her temper.”

He chuckled and assumed.   “Sounds like Mister Hide is in love with Miss Momoe.”

That, sort of, made me realise that his assumption might be right. I had a feeling for a long time that he had hidden feelings for her but he never realised them. I had no clue as to how or when I realised this.    “Perhaps…”

Yoshiki served our breakfast and we took our seats. It was a simple breakfast and we had a simple conversation.   “So, you’ll return to the office?”  he asked me and I nodded.

He nervously smiled and added.   “I must be a burden on you, calling you for no reason and making you stay the night.”

I encouraged him.  “Of course, not. I’m glad to help you. It’s the least I can do.”

He refused to believe me.    “Oh, please. I am sure you are thinking of me as a feeble person because I cried like a girl. It’s embarrassing for men to depend on others.”

“Being a man does not mean that you can't lean on others.”  I cut him, almost feeling the familiarity.   “You can lean on me.”

My heart sped up when I said that. Yoshiki became nervous too. I quickly changed the subject.   “So…you said you are not ready to write the letter.”

“I only meant it as a metaphor to say goodbye.”   He said with a smile.

“Then you write it when you are ready.”

He looked at me and his smile died down.   “So this is your process of psychological screening?”

I blushed again and chuckled nervously.   “I want to help you. My job requirements are just a coincidence, so please, don’t think of it any less.”

He smiled again.   “I’m not. If it wasn’t your job, we wouldn’t have met and I’m glad to meet you.”

I wanted to ask whether it was true like the little kids after hearing a promise to go to Disney land. However, such expression would be funny and embarrassing. Yoshiki suddenly left the table and returned with my clothes.

“I noticed them and ironed them. I assume you cannot go to your work wearing my seemingly smaller clothes.”

I didn’t know how many shades I blushed but I received the clothes, grateful that he ironed them. We finished breakfast and I quickly changed.

“I shall leave then.”  I stated.   “Goodbye.”

Yoshiki smiled at me, thanking me again and asked nervously.   “Can I…Can I see you again?”

I blinked, despite knowing that I would have to meet him anyway. However, as per rules of not giving out our contacts, I had to refrain myself from giving him my contacts.   “Of course, you can. You know how to contact me.”

For some reason, he didn’t ask for my personal contacts, seemingly understanding within his mind. Anyone else in his place would ask for my personal contacts. With exchanges of smiles, we bid each other farewell.

Even after I returned to the office, I couldn’t stop thinking about Yoshiki. During lunch, Momoe shared her box with me, because I didn’t bring my lunch. Even then, I was lost in thoughts until Hide called me.

“You okay?”

Was I okay? No, not at all…

“Acchan…what’s the matter?”   Hide asked me and I shook my head indicating that I was fine.

The day was spent finely on work and everything else. I was in a good mood but that all went to ruin when I returned home. Toru was watching TV. Him watching TV did not bother me, what bothered me was the contents in the TV. Toru was crying because of the dying hero.

“Hardly a sight.”   I snapped and he muted.

“I can't help if you have an emotional range of a tea-spoon.”   He shrugged. When did he get so comfortable in my house? I don’t remember feeling this irritated.   “How’s my son doing?”

 “Yoshiki is having a hard time letting you go and you are watching this stupid soap opera without a care.”   I took the remote, changing to my show.

“Yoshiki was always a little sensitive, ever since his mother died. I had to make sure I protect him at all times.”   He tried to get the remote from me but I put it under my butt where he didn’t want to reach.

“Now, he blames himself for your death and I don’t know how to get him out of that guilt.”   I sighed.

“Well, it’s your job to get him out of that guilt and make him write that letter. That should be no problem, the problem arises after I leave.”

I looked at him.   “How so?”

“Yoshiki is emotionally weak. He cannot stand losing people around him. I have a feeling that the only reason he hasn’t broken down is because he still feels my presence. After I leave, he will completely break down and he had no one to take care of him.”

I was struck realising how alone he was. I was in that phase after Ai’s passing and I had two most wonderful people taking care of me. Yoshiki had no one. Toru continued.   “I don’t want my brother to go near him. They’ll ruin him. He doesn’t have any friends either. The last time he considered to have a friend, she blamed him for her boyfriend cheating…he is alone. With that tension, I don’t think I can leave him.”

Being lonely was scary but having the wrong people around was scarier. Yoshiki wasn’t lucky with the people around him. His relatives were prime examples. I understood Toru’s worries. They were indeed too harsh. I looked at my fists, clenching, blaming his bad luck. I wondered why a person like Yoshiki should suffer so much. It wasn’t fair. It didn’t take me long to say it.

“I’ll take care of him.”

Toru looked at me, without surprise and almost something as if he knew. The wise expression almost made me realise that he wasn’t as annoying as I thought until he scoffed.   “You, babysitting my son. Sure. Be his agent.”   And he snorted. I left the sofa and the TV to him to my room, knowing that he would take the remote when I added.

“I gassed on it.”

“Oh, freaking Jesus! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

 With a satisfied smile, I retired to bed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I woke up with a familiar smell of spaghetti and coffee. When I stepped outside my room, I saw Toru cooking. He quickly served me and I thanked him. His cooking was good, I had to admit and I finished everything, however, I did not tell him that. I refused to satisfy him with compliments. He rested on the table and asked.   “How are you convincing my son about my body?”

"I am not the one with that task. The police are dealing with it. But I have a feeling that he is not falling for it."   I answered with a sigh.

"So, what are you doing?"

"I'm a psychologist."

"A shrink."   he termed it otherwise.

"Psychologist."  I corrected.   "Yoshiki is demanding your body and if he doesn't get it soon, he might end up suing someone."

"Then you must get him to write it soon. Otherwise, we will be going round in circles."

I sighed, realising the truth in his voice. However, for now, I left the issue and left the apartment. When I arrived at the office I noticed Hide trying to talk to Momoe who ignored him. She often snapped with her blunt comments which amused the man further. He did it on purpose. Perhaps, Yoshiki was right. The rest arrived and we received some investigative work for other assignments. Anii asked.

“How are you getting along with the undead?”

“He is a pain in the butt.”   I muttered which made him snigger.

"You are getting along with him then."

“What about Mr. Hayashi?”   Momoe was interested in Yoshiki, no doubt, being a fan of his music.

“He is having troubles letting go.”   I answered her.   "He was sick yesterday."

“That's why he asked you to stay?”   Hide asked.

“Yes.”   I nodded, wondering again why he would ask me so.  "I'm quite surprised that he is trusting me so easily."

Momoe said.   “Why wouldn't he? The whole world finds him unfortunate. His relatives are no better. I'm sure that he has no friends. You are the only one who can get through him now.”

Momoe somehow got it correct. Yoshiki and Momoe read each other correctly. We left the topic there and returned to work. Noon passed to evening when we were finally able to finish our tasks. I was about to suggest some drinks but Hide, Yuta and Imai left their seats.

“What is it?"   Anii asked.

"A Riser outside."   Hide spoke.

Imai and Yuta frowned.   "Can't be. We are sensing a witness, and a keeper witness on that matter."

"Well, don't stand here. See who it is."   Anii snapped and the three rushed out. Momoe turned to her screen and started researching into something.

"Could it be possible for a riser to be a witness as well?"   I asked.

"It is."   Momoe said.   "There have been two recorded cases in Romania and Kenya but they were decades ago."

Before I could ask further, the three returned with someone.

"Y-Yoshiki!"   I exclaimed, shocked to see the man here. His mask hung on his chin and he nervously smiled.   "H-how did you find this place?"

"I don't know. I felt like I knew this place."   he answered and looked at the bewildered faces.   "Is this a bad time?"

"Of course, not."   Anii lied the best he could.   "You are most welcome in our...psychology chamber."

"Your bodyguards."   Momoe asked softly.   "Are they with you?"

He suddenly smiled at her.   "Yes, I don't travel without them. You must be Miss Momoe. Atsushi told me about you. Nice to meet you."   He walked to her to shake her hand. Momoe took his hand nervously and threw me a glance.

"Pleasure."   She stiffened and let go. Anii cleared his throat and looked at me.

"Well, if you are here for our Acchan, then you are very welcome to borrow him. We can allow him a day."

"Will you?"   Yoshiki brightened up and turned to me.   "Are you all sure, though?"

Everyone lightened up and agreed. Yoshiki finally exhaled and took my hand, much to my surprise.   "Thank you, everyone. I will not keep him for long."

"Oh no, you can if you want to."   Anii snickered making me redder. Yoshiki greeted everyone, specially Hide and Momoe before taking me with him. He put his mask back on and the bodyguards opened the car for us.  Yoshiki asked the driver to drive home.

On the way, Yoshiki looked at me, looking slightly guilty.   "I'm sorry for taking you out like this. It was highly...odd of me."

"It's okay."   I looked at my fists and asked him.   "How did you find the place? I never gave you the address."

"As I said, I don't know."  He answered and I could hear the honesty.   "I know the place for some reason. It is familiar somehow. I don't know why. Haven't you felt like this about some places before?"

"Like déjà vu? Yes."   I answered and tried not to overthink.   "So, anything you need?"

He looked out the window, seeing the scenery passing away.  "I thought I'd be able to sleep last night but...my mind was clouded more than ever. I don't know what to do anymore. I just wanted your company."

My heart fluttered hearing his need for me. I almost joyed but quickly buried the feeling.   "What can I do for you?"

"Can you stay with me? Just talk to me? I don't have people to talk to."

I was struck hearing that an idol like him had no one to talk to. He quickly blushed and corrected.

"I mean, I have people to talk to from the same agency, other musicians and agents and...fans but...they are busy with tours and whatnot."

"I...I understand."   I blushed anyway.   "What would you like to talk about?"

He exhaled and smiled.   "Anything."

We finally relaxed and I suggested.  "Let's talk about your childhood."

Yoshiki agreed and shared his childhood with me. He started with the death of his mother at the age of ten and the hardships he and his father had to face. His father refused to get any treatment because of the costs and refused to get help from his brother. He and his uncle never got along which Yoshiki never understood before. He understood when his cousin was arrested and he saw his uncle and aunt's true nature.

"They were really rude to my mother before I was born which forced him to severe contacts with him. Good thing that father did that, otherwise I would be in a mess."

He continued with the support his father gave him as he grew up, even with his sickness. He made sure that Yoshiki got all the aid he needed for his musical career. He shared some funny stories with his father and the agents he had. Seeing him talk like that almost made me smile. His father was a funny man and he made sure to make his son smile every day.

We forgot when we reached his place. Yoshiki and I entered the house and he quickly served some snacks, continuing the story. At a point, I realised that he never dated.

"You seriously never dated?"  I asked.

"I'm serious. Whatever you saw on the TV was all for publicity. They are secretly married to someone else."

"Wow...I never knew."   I sniggered.   "An idol like you is still single."

"Hey, I'm not that old. I'm 24."   he defended.   "And you are...?"

"Oh, 27."   I shared.   "But you must have liked someone."

"No. I never found anyone attractive. I was far too busy. What about you?"

"Me too..."   I said.   "Far too busy."

Young men our age should be out there, mingling with others and having the particular other one and yet, here we were, sharing cups of coffee and childhood stories. The feeling was nostalgic and yet novel. The silence curtained us and painfully lingered for a minute or so until he spoke up.

"The reason I couldn’t sleep was because of my father..."   He licked his lips.   "He often spoke about you when I was a kid and I never understood what he meant. Not even now."

I looked at him and asked.   "What did he say?"

"He said that, if I ever met you, I had to give you the diary and..."   He tried to find the right words but he blushed terribly.   "He told me...that I have to hold onto you."

I blushed again, feeling the adrenaline rush. He cleared his throat and tried to rebut what he said. 

"I don't know why he said that. I mean; we don't even know each other but yet...I feel like..."

"Like we've known each other for a long time."   I finished it for him, looking at him, sharing the same familiarity.

“Exactly…”   he whispered, blurring our senses.   "You...you feel like someone close to me. Someone I've known for a long time. And yet I don't know you."  

Yoshiki raised his fingers to my cheek, caressing it lightly, trying to figure me out.  His voice sainted in my ears as I found myself giving into his touches. His hands held my face, particularly my cheekbones and brushed it as if making a clay model.   "Why do you feel so familiar to me?"

I couldn't answer. My breath hitched and I shivered, feeling him closing onto me, reducing the distance. I couldn't deny that I wanted this. I wanted this intimacy between us. Twice I blinked and shut my eyes finally when I felt his breath on my lips.

A part of me wanted him to take my lips but another part wanted to tease. I listened to the other part and clutched his shoulders, moving my lips to the side of his lips and chin, brushing it breathlessly, purposely missing his lips to agonise him. The more he tried to capture my lips, the more I tortured him.

He grunted and tried to make his way to my lips but I stubbornly trailed to his throat and Adam's apple, pulling his body closer to mine. My kisses moved down to his collarbone while I tried to pull down his white blouse. Something told me that down that garment, retained something wonderful. Assuming permission from him, I removed the garment and was welcomed by a tattoo on his chest. The skin was engraved with lotus petal, gorgeously designed. What struck me was not the details, but the similarity with the mark of the undead.

He noticed my eyes on it. He whispered breathlessly.   "I don't know why I got it. It made me feel...reborn."

"Reborn..."   I found myself repeating his words. I had the sudden urge to kiss it and I pleasured myself by doing so. I pressed my lips on the tattoo and embraced him while he buried his lips on my head.

I felt like I knew his body. I knew these touches and the kisses. And he knew me. The kisses stopped there and we remained in each other's arms, knowing that none of us wanted to go beyond this. We found comfort in each other and this was the farthest we were ready for.

"I don’t understand."   Yoshiki murmured on my head and rested his chin.   "I barely even know you. It doesn't make sense."

"No."   I agreed.  "But I love it."

"Can you...can you stay with me for the night?"   He nervously asked.

And this time, I answered confidently.   "Yes."

Yoshiki and I pulled away and he fixed his clothes. Blushing madly for minutes, we made way to the bed. We rested together, beside each other, under the quilt. Our eyes were on each other, reading each other, trying to solve the mysteries within each other. His fingers would graze my face and mine would graze the tattoo and throat. Scooting closer to each other, letting our noses brush against each other, our eyes dropped and drove us into our dreams.

…

I never thought waking up beside an idol. I noticed his porcelain features which tempted me to kiss him with passion. However, I daren’t do it. He stirred and opened his eyes, slightly surprised by my gaze. We remained staring at each other and I had to be the one to start.

“I never did things like this before.”   I admitted.   “This is too new to me.”

He was silent for few seconds before saying.   “Me too…”

“Do you do you regret it?”

“Surprisingly, no.”   he said.   “You?”

“I should be feeling embarrassed for having these feelings for a patient but I don’t.”   I bit my lips, not afraid of sharing my feelings.   “Does this mean anything?”

“I don’t know.”   He sighed.   “This feels too normal and I know that it shouldn’t. But I want this…”

“Me too…”   I confessed and looked at him.

He smiled which boosted some confidence in me. We left the bed, having a short and silent breakfast later. He kindly sent me off to work afterwards, wishing me a safe journey. I expected their eyes on me, however, I was staring at their lack of acknowledgement of my arrival. I looked at Hide who looked terrible.

“Why do you look so awful?”

Hide spared a second glance at me and murmured.   “Didn’t get enough sleep.”

Before I could say anything, Anii spoke up. He said something about our incoming new chief who will be coming from England and Anii will return to his dead bodies. His name was Raymond Watts.

“We’ll miss you, Anii.”

“Aw, you’ll see me anyway. I will call you to identify more undead.”   He laughed, however, the moment seemed like a déjà vu. I went through this moment before but I brushed it off and returned to work. But my eyes fell on Hide who was lost in his thoughts. He was not his usual jolly self. He wasn’t even looking at Ai’s picture on his table. His eyes fell on Momoe…

Momoe noticed my eyes on her and I quickly averted however, nothing escaped her. She looked back at her screen and Anii called me.

“Acchan.”   He startled me.

“Yes, Anii.”

“Since Mister Hayashi has turned out to be a witness and a keeper one, we have consulted with the head branch and we came to a conclusion that we should let him know about his father.”

I choked on my saliva.   “You can’t be serious.”

“We are.”   He shrugged.   “It seems like the best option and not uncommon.”

“It’s not about uncommon or common matter, it’s Yoshiki. He is not ready for it.”

“Well, we are permitted to do it and the idol is desperate for his father’s body. Once he knows, he might consider writing the letter and freeing his father. I think it’s an excellent idea, saves us all the trouble and the secrecy.”

I was not comfortable with Yoshiki knowing about us, yet. He was going through too much and this would be dropping the bomb on him.

“Will you do it, Acchan? If you can't, I’ll ask Momoe.”   Anii said and I quickly retorted.

“No, she doesn’t have to. I can do it.”

I returned to work but my mind lingered on Yoshiki. I still haven’t shared about our relationship to the office. Right now, Hide’s glumness worried me. I needed to confirm whether he was okay. Momoe was the first one to leave this time and she said goodbye to everyone except Hide. When she left, Hide startled when he noticed me looking at him. I frowned.  

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”   He looked elsewhere but I grabbed his face, shocking him. He flustered.     “A-Acchan?”

“Hide, I can see the restlessness on your face. You must tell me.”

He reluctantly answered. He confessed about knowing Momoe’s feelings towards my sister which should have shocked me, but it didn’t. I felt like I knew this already. Now, he felt that Momoe hated him for mocking her feelings, which I disagreed. He was in his own bubble of guilt. He wished to care for her.

“I feel that I shouldn’t burden you with these feelings. You have too much on your hands.”   He confessed and I smacked his shoulder.

“Nonsense. You are my friend, my brother and a part of my life. I love you, Hide and I am here for you. Now go home and let the night pass.”

Even though I asked him to relax for the night, I was unable to take my own advice. When I returned home, I found Toru watching TV. This man was nothing like my previous assignments. The previous ones never stayed up late.

“You’re back. Nice, I made you dinner.”  He casually said and returned to his ridiculous soap opera.

“Thanks.”   I put my coat away and got my food to the couch. I couldn’t enjoy the food alone on the table so I thought of having it while watching whatever he was watching.

“Did you meet Yoshiki today?”

“Umm…”   I blushed, recalling the moments between us.   “Yes and turns out, Yoshiki possesses the same abilities as me.”

“Which is?”   he raised an eyebrow.

“He can meet you.”

“No way.”  He muted the series and looked at me.   “Does it mean that we can…”

“Yes.”   I nodded.   “In fact, my chief is asking me to do it.”

“Then why haven’t you called me?”   he asked.   “We could have ended it.”

“Because Yoshiki is far too alone.”   I tried not to snap.   “He has no one with him. The man is sad and lonely. He will not take it well.”

“Why do you care? He is just a job.”

Instinctively, I snapped.   “What the hell if wrong with you? You are talking about your son.”

“I know what I need to do for my son. He needs to let me go for his own good. But what I don’t understand is why you care.”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I couldn’t tell him and I didn’t have to. His expression turned to a surprised one. He smirked and then started laughing.   “No, seriously! You’ve got to be kidding me.”

I blushed and looked away, putting the sound back on but he kept staring at me funnily.   “You are in love.”

“Screw this!”  I left the couch and stomped to my bed. I shut the door to Ai’s room and paced around. The man was getting on my nerves. Even though we were clear with our feelings, I couldn’t bear to see him hurt. I was not brave enough to let him lose his father.

…

The morning was not any better with Toru’s casual attitude. This man never took anything seriously. Even now, he was calm and collected. He smiled as if nothing happened and offered me breakfast. the smile reminded me of Yoshiki. I was sure that smile made his day. I felt guilty for a moment for not being nice to him.

Feeling grateful for his help around the house, I handed him a cell phone. Instead of thanking me, the ungrateful undead frowned, complaining that the phone was pink. Of course, it was. It was my sister’s phone and he should be grateful that I even considered giving him a phone should he felt like going outside.

He took the phone and thanked me without meaning it.   “By the way, I keep hearing someone outside. Should I be worried?”

I grunted.   “Must be Keiko again.”   This woman was a nightmare.

“A scorned lover?”   he guessed.

“More like a stalker. I made it clear that I’m not interested but she can't take a hint.”

He snickered.   “Yoshiki goes through the same problems. I hope you get his hints.”

I did not tell him about us, or whatever we had. I thanked for the food and left my apartment when I, unfortunately, met Keiko on the way. She stopped me to invite me for a party this weekend, which I had to refuse politely. However, she didn’t take the rejection well. But this time, I told her off unable to take her overbearing attitude anymore.

Everyone was present at work when I arrived, except Hide. I found out from Momoe that he was in the hospital because of anaemia. I didn’t push further, knowing that she missed some information on purpose. I noted to visit him after work and started working. The task of informing Yoshiki remained in my mind and I knew that I had to do it soon. However, for now, I focused on work.

At night I asked Momoe to accompany me to the hospital. After much persuasion she agreed and we visited Hide. While she waited outside, refusing to see him, I knew something had gone wrong. So I asked him after knowing that she brought him to the hospital.

“What did you say to her?”

“I called her a cold hearted woman. I know that it is not true. She is not a cold hearted woman. But I was so frustrated over her lack of communication with me. She thinks that I am only doing this for Ai. I am not only doing this for Ai, I am also doing this for her.”

I took his face which surprised him.   “Acchan, what are you doing?”

Yes, he was definitely in love with Momoe and I didn’t mind.   “Nothing. Just checking for bumps.”

He freed himself.  “But I can't seem to get that through her thick skull.”

I shrugged.   “Just give her time. She is different from us. a woman is more complicated than you think.”

He chuckled and asked us to go home. although I was hesitant, I agreed. Outside, Momoe waited and I asked her to go home too however she refused.

“Yeah, someone needs to stay. You have Toru to worry about. I’ll bring him to work tomorrow.”

I agreed and left the hospital only to see the person I least expected. I looked around to see any stalkers and walked to him.    “Yoshiki? H-how?”

“I don’t know…”  He answered, almost confused himself.   “I…just had a feeling. I swear, I’m not stalking you if that’s what you are thinking. You must believe me…I thought that you were for some reason.”

“Yes.”   I believed him, for some reason. I couldn’t find lies in his voice.    “Hide is sick but nothing serious. Momoe is with him for the night. Let’s go to the car.”

He agreed and entered his Lamborghini. He looked a little worried.   “Atsushi, I’m sorry for my unannounced visit but I really wanted to see you. It’s my father…I can't get my hands on his body. The authorities are denying me even to visit his body in the morgue. They keep saying that it’s contaminated but of what, they’re not saying. I…I can't take this anymore.” 

I took his shoulder, almost thinking of telling him the truth. But I couldn’t.   “I’m sure there is a good reason for the authorities. I can tell that you will get him soon.”

“I’m sorry.”   He apologised again.   “I shouldn’t be bothering you with this.”

“Nonsense.”  I scoffed.   “What am I here for?”

He reddened and looked at me, which in turn made me blush, realising the poise in my voice. He added.  “Thank you. How about I give you a ride home?”

I should have had second thoughts knowing that his father’s presence might tick his senses but I agreed anyway. He didn’t let my hand go the whole way and spoke about his upcoming tour outside Japan. He wished for us to go but I had to refuse because of my work, which he understood. Despite the often distances, we were still sure of what we had. When he dropped me, he looked at the building. I got nervous and asked him.  

“Something wrong?”

“No…but it seems so familiar. I have this tingling feeling…”   he looked at me.   “Perhaps it’s nothing. I’ll see you soon.”   He smiled.    “Night…”

“Goodnight.”   I smiled.

He bit his lips and kicked the stone, waiting for something, something I anticipated. He scurried and pecked my cheek suddenly. He didn’t spare me any look and ran back to his car. They went off while I remained standing like an idiot. I touched my cheek, feeling the warmth. I felt like a teenager again. The smirk did not leave me even when I entered the apartment and saw Toru. He noticed and poked me.

“What’s with the stupid smile?”

“Yoshiki…”   I blurted out and leant on the door.

“Was he here?”

I nodded sluggishly.

“T-then why didn’t you bring him in?”   he snapped, finally bringing me out of my daze.

“What?”   I looked at him.

“Why didn’t you bring him in? Why didn’t you tell him about me?”

Not this again.   “I told you, he isn’t ready.”

“He isn’t? Or you aren’t?”   he scolded.   “Atsushi, you can't cushion him all his life. You have to tell him before it’s too late”

“Not now, Toru. I just came back from work.”   I left the undead with his TV and shut the door without having dinner. I wasn’t in the mood for his lectures. I knew what I was doing. This was my job, after all. Why will I be not ready? He was just crazy.

…

I did not see him cooking for me in the morning, not that I assumed that he should. However, I missed the presence. I was getting used to having someone. Hide returned from the hospital and looked better. Momoe looked calm. I was about to ask Hide about staying another night at the hospital but refrained, feeling oddly déjà vu. Anii, however, asked me.

“Have you told the riser/witness yet?”

“Oh.”   I stammered.   “No, not yet. I will, just give him a little time. He has much to sort out.”

I looked away but felt eyes on me, from Hide and Momoe. They scrutinised me closely but kept their mouth shut, warning me of my actions. For now, we returned to work and continued until lunchtime. Imai, Yuta and Anii went ahead of us first but the rest two waited till the office was empty. They were looking at me, trying to get me to confess.

“Don’t look at me like that.”   I snapped.   “You know what I will say.”

“I know.”   Hide said.   “You think that you are protecting him but it’s not what you are doing.”

“And, what do you think I’m doing?”   I annoyingly said.

“Smothering him.”   Momoe muttered.

“Excuse me?”   I scoffed hearing this from the woman who smothered us after Ai’s passing.   “Weren’t you the one who made sure we were fed after Ai was gone?”

“You are exaggerating, Atsushi.”   Momoe argued.

“You protected us like cubs.”   I retorted.   “You made sure we didn’t get hurt over Ai’s passing.”

“I didn’t make sure of anything.”   She sighed.   “I helped you to get over that painful experience, which is what your task is to do with Mister Hayashi. You are not his mother, you are his negotiator.”

“The point is…”   Hide interfered.   “Even though you are in love with him, that shouldn’t deter you from…”

I reddened.  “W-what?”   My reaction made Momoe sigh and explain.

“Well done, Hoshino.”   She muttered which caused Hide to rub his neck. He muttered a short apology. She continued.    “Even as a lover, you should help him fight the pain, not shelter him like a duckling.”

I grunted, knowing that she was right. However, I couldn’t help but keep the man hidden from the worldly pain. He was too innocent to know about this.

“I’m off to lunch.”   Momoe took her leave. Hide grabbed my shoulder and pulled me along. The rest of the day passed and I wanted to check on Yoshiki. However, due to the overload of work we both had, none of us could make any time. We exchanged short texts and I saw the news which broadcasted his busy schedule. I was shocked to hear that he threatened to sue the hospital. At the end of the day, after everyone left, I could finally call him.

 _“Atsushi…”_    he sounded tired.   _“I finally threatened the hospital to sue them if they don’t hand my father over.”_

I stiffened over the serious tone in his voice.   “I heard. What is the hospital saying?”

 _“They are on about their lame excuse. I don’t know what they are thinking. Sometimes I have this feeling that he is alive and they are keeping him away.”_    His broken voice churned me. He needed someone at this moment. I didn’t know what to say over his wild, yet dangerous assumption.  

“It’s been a busy day for you, so you should rest.”

 _“I can't…”_   he sighed.   _“I mean this and the stupid prank call.”_    He chuckled but it caught my attention.

“What prank call?”   I asked.

_“It’s nothing. Just some idiot who said that he was my father. It wasn’t funny but my number had been hacked by crazy fans before, so I wouldn’t worry about it.”_

I knew who it was and asked him, trying not to sound angry.  “Can you text me the number?”

 _“Sure, are you going to psychoanalyse him?”_    He chuckled and just to prevent him from worrying, I joked along.

“Psychological screening…”   I laughed.   “But don’t think about this for now. As you said, it’s a prank call.”

We both laughed until it died down. Few seconds passed silently until he asked.   _“I was thinking…will you…would you like to go with me somewhere tomorrow?”_

I tried not to scream excitedly. A day out with Yoshiki was something beyond my dreams. I stammered.   “Y-yes.”

 _“Great.”_    He butted me.     _“Meet me at my place?”_

“Uh-huh.”   I nodded like an idiot which made him giggle.

_“Okay…in the morning…see you then.”_

“B-bye…”

We hung up and I remained in my daze but I snapped back to reality when he texted me the number. Not surprisingly, it was Ai’s number. That man, how dare he? I returned home to find him in bed already but that didn’t stop me from waking him up.

“W-what the hell?”   he rubbed his eyes and was startled.   “What are you doing?”

“What the hell were you thinking?”

“Thinking what?”   this man…

“Don’t play dumb with me. You called Yoshiki!”

He silenced for a moment, stalking for me to calm down but I didn’t. I asked him again.   “Well!”

“Yes, I did…”   he exhaled.   “I saw the news today. He is going to sue the hospital for no reason and it’s because of you. So I thought…”

“You…”   I almost hit him but stopped, thinking about Yoshiki. Unable to say anything, I left the undead alone in the room and retired for the night, hoping not to see him in the morning.

…

I remember working on Sundays to busy myself from the reality of loneliness. However, today was not one of those days. I was ready to take the whole day off. Toru was watching the TV and refused to look at me. He was angry as I was. I sighed and left the room without saying goodbye.

Yoshiki was already waiting for me in his white blouse and extravagant over coat. Compared to him, I felt like an assassin in my black attire but he blushed stammering.   “H-hey.”

“Hi.”   I mentally slapped myself for my short greeting.   “So, where do you want to go?”

He suddenly smiled and said.   “Everywhere.”

His bright smiled excited me. Our day started with the amusement park where we tried every single ride. He was boisterous and loud which was a pretty sight. I never knew he could be this childish. He pulled me to the movies next where my expectation was a romantic movie but somehow I figured that it would be horror. During the entire movie, my heartbeat skipped due to the jump scares and he laughed at me.

“I’m not coming with you to the cinema again.”   I exhaled while he patted my back. Walking side by side, our hands touched and we didn’t hesitate taking it. I asked casually.   “So, want to do anything else?”

“You have anything in mind?”

I did but I needed to know whether he would like it or not. Surprisingly, we answered in the same time.   “Sakurayama park.”

We both started laughing and headed off to the colourful grove park. The reds, yellows and greens made a beautiful picture on earth. Yoshiki was the first one to get out of the car and slowly walk to the corner.

“Atsushi, it’s gorgeous!”  His eyes glistened which gave me a familiar feeling. Observing that no one was there, I walked to him, as the sun set.

“You like it?”   I knew he did. He nodded and turned to me but I found myself taking his shoulders, suddenly feeling aware. It didn’t surprise him though; it was as if he knew this moment.

“Does this moment feel familiar to you?”   I asked.   “Like, too familiar?”

“To be honest, yes.”   He looked down.   “I am so sure of this that it scares me.”

My hands moved to cup his face and I asked him lowly.   “Do I scare you?”

He confessed lightly.   “No. It’s more like…you make me feel at home and I feel content with you.”   He gulped and soaked his lips.   “When I first saw you, I don’t know why but I thought I’ve seen you before and knew you closely. I had a feeling of…caring and understanding you…I felt something strong for you.”  

His eyes glittered and he finally said.   “I am in love you.”

I didn’t know how long I was staring at him after hearing the words. My mind was repeating them. Did I do something good in my past life to deserve this? If so, then thank you so much for this precious gift. I would care for this man for eternity. I loved this man desperately. I was willing to do everything for him. I found myself embracing him closely and buried myself in his neck.  

“You beat me.”   I muffled.   “I wanted to say it first.”

He hugged me back and chuckled on my shoulder. We remained like that for minutes, memorising the feelings. Never before have I felt so sure of anything. We were confident that us were meant to be and we were not going to linger on the confusion. Night fell soon and I dropped him first. His bodyguards received him and Yoshiki just waved me farewell without further words.

I returned home, feeling fluttered and in daze. I didn’t even get annoyed by the crying noises from the TV. I made my way to Ai’s room when I received a text from Momoe. She asked me to bring Toru to toe office tomorrow. I merely shrugged and retired to bed.

…

Toru was annoyed when I woke him up, without any explanation whatsoever. Although I could have told him that my office said so, I decided to let him suffer in his mental misery. I assumed nothing when I was asked to bring him, however, I simply did not expect the silence when we arrived at work. I somehow hoped Anii to ask me how my break was.

“What’s going on?”   I whispered to Hide who remained silent. I looked at Anii.   “Anii, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, Acchan.”   He scratched his eyebrow and asked me to sit. I complied and Toru sat beside me, similarly clueless as me. The clock ticked seconds and the rest were waiting for something.

Anii looked up and his face brightened.   “You are here. Thank you for coming.”

I looked at the gate and saw the last person I thought to see. Toru’e eyes bulged out and he tried to hide himself behind my shoulder.

“Y-Yoshiki?”   I stammered and looked at the rest. Their faces were unapologetic and cold. Toru clutched my shoulder and Yoshiki’s face faded. He didn’t respond and remained looking at the person behind me. Toru finally looked at his son dreadfully.

“M-my father…m-my father’s alive? H-how?”   He was shaken, which was normal, even for a witness. Were he not a witness, he would have a fit and faint. His witness abilities prevented him from having a trauma.

I glared at the rest, wanting to scream at them. Hide was the first one to approach Yoshiki. He put his hand on his shoulder, bringing Yoshiki out of a daze.   “I know this is not supposed to be. But you have to listen carefully. This is what we do. This is our job and you are one of us.”

Yoshiki glanced at Hide, not understanding his words. Hide continued.   “You can have a moment with your father and he will explain everything.”

“N-no, Hide…”   I tried to argue but Anii shut me up.

“Don’t be in the way, Acchan. This is for his own good.”   Anii asked Toru to follow him and asked Hide to bring Yoshiki to another chamber. Imai and Yuta sought their moment to escape and left me alone with Momoe.

I glared at her, waiting for an explanation. She sighed and I snapped.     “Did you know about this? Was this your idea?”

Momoe didn’t answer, seemingly not trying to point anyone out. She avoided looking at me which irritated me. I tried not to break anything and scurried inside but Hide stopped me. I wanted to push him over but I looked through the glass of the door and saw Yoshiki desperately hugging his father while Anii remained distant. My eyes blurred and I rubbed them, not wanting Hide to see it but it didn’t escape his notice.

Minutes felt like hours and they finally came out of the room. Yoshiki held on Toru for dear life, but he looked calmer than before. He spared me a glance and surprisingly gave me a weak smile. However, I couldn’t smile back, feeling guilty for hiding this from him. Yoshiki cleared his throat and turned to Anii.

“Mister Hayashi, you know what to do.”   Anii said, obviously not liking this moment. He preferred being with the dead than the undead. Yoshiki nodded but requested.

“Can’t I have some time to spend with him, before I send him away? Please?”

Those eyes would persuade anyone, even Anii. He sighed and nodded, much to his content. Yoshiki hugged his father, thanking him for the permission. Toru, however, wasn’t sure whether his son would ever let him go. He feared, as I expected, that Yoshiki would run away with him. But at the same time, I trusted him with the right decision.

Toru put his mask on, and followed his son whole held him closely. Yoshiki left with a light goodbye and I didn’t follow him, knowing he wanted to be with his father. I watched him leave and the rest returned to their work. I didn’t worry for him, I worried about myself. I worried how I will face him after Toru’s final passing.

The day passed slowly and terribly. I couldn’t focus on work and the silence didn’t help. Imai and Yuta gave me the space I didn’t require and Anii returned to the dead bodies. Hide and Momoe weren’t helping with their silence. I felt like everyone was pitying me for falling in love.

We were finally ready to leave but Yuta and Imai invited us for a drink. Not having anything else to do, I and Hide agreed. Surprisingly, Momoe agreed too. Hide and I were both surprised. I turned to Imai and saw the same expression. She quickly patched up her work and went with us. Everyone was engrossed in their conversation except Hide who kept ogling at Momoe because she was actively participating in the conversation. My mind drifted off to Yoshiki, wondering how he was doing. I knew that they had a lot of catching up to do and yet I felt like tonight was supposed to be different. For now, I buried the tension.

By the time I came home, my phone rang. It was, surprisingly, Yoshiki.   “Yoshiki.”    I tried not to panic but I was sure that he heard the tone.

“ _Atsushi.”_    He sounded fine.   _“Father is sleeping now. I never knew him as an early sleeper.”_

“It’s the effects of being an…”   I hesitated mentioning the term. He weakly laughed and assured me.

 _“It’s okay. You can call him what you usually do.”_    He paused.   _“I never knew you had to deal with people like him…but at the same time…I felt it all along that you were not a psychologist. I somehow knew.”_

I couldn’t respond to his calmness. My insides churned due to the anxiety. I was slightly shaking. He continued.   _“Atsushi, you have nothing to worry about. I have decided…”_

“Yoshiki, you don’t have to rush…”

 _“No.”_    he refused.   _“I have to let go.”_

I rubbed my eyes, knowing how he felt. the same feelings of losing Ai returned. He chuckled on the phone.   _“He told me how you two got along. He said that you were his pain in the butt.”_

I snorted, unable to help myself and he added.   _“I’m glad that he had you. I really am, so don’t beat yourself. Please…”_

I sniffed and slumped on my bed, finally having it back.

_“I’ll bring him tomorrow. Sleep well.”_

“Yes…”

Shoving the phone away, I curled up in a ball, unable to bear the loneliness. I didn’t want the man to go through the pain as I did with Ai. Was it wrong to ask for his happiness?

The next morning, I arrived at work rather groggily. Neither Momoe nor Hide uttered a word to me. The rest were busy and Anii didn’t mention Yoshiki or Toru, trusting that they would return. The news broadcasted that Yoshiki revoked his statement to sue the hospital, which was a relief to all. I tried to focus on work and dragged on till nightfall when everyone was leaving and I received a call from Yoshiki.

“Yoshiki?”

Everyone stopped, wanting to know which I didn’t mind. It was very normal that they were worried. Yoshiki greeted and I could imagine him smiling as he said.   _“Sorry for being late. I took the entire day and…well, I called you to tell you that I am ready. I wrote the letter but I…don’t want to do it alone. Can you help me?”_

I could hear his broken voice as he tried to be normal. I agreed and he gave me the address. Surprisingly, he asked to bring Momoe and Hide to receive something. We put the phone down and I announced.   “He is ready but he wants us to be there-me, Hide and Momoe.”

Anii didn’t stop us, of course. He was more than happy to share us with the riser. Hide and Momoe were unsure of coming along. They were probably thinking whether it was their place to be. They came anyway but they were silent in the car. The place where Yoshiki called us, was familiar to me, not in the sense that I knew this place existed, but because I felt like we were meant to be here.

Toru and Yoshiki were waiting for us and they had another company.   “Is that a…?”

Momoe and Hide were shocked to see the little squirming Bengal cat in Yoshiki’s arm. However, it didn’t come as a surprise to me. I merely wondered what made them buy it now.

“Father wanted to assign you some more pain.”   Yoshiki chuckled and handed the little thing to me. It was so small and beautiful. It made me smile. Toru snorted, saying.

“My intention was to make you cry, not smile.”   He sighed.   “My efforts went down to drain.”

I laughed, feeling the eyes tearing up. I retorted with a smile.   “There, I cried. Happy now, you old man?”

Yoshiki turned to Momoe and Hide.   “I’m sorry for calling you two here. I just wanted someone to take the kitten home. Would it be a problem?”

Hide glanced at Momoe who spoke up.   “Of course, not. I’ll take it with me for the night.”   She took the kitten from me.   “I’ll wait for you.”  

And she meant Hide as she knew that this was only purpose for being here. She wished Toru luck and glanced at Yoshiki for few seconds. Their gazes told each other many things which was a secret between them. Breaking the eye contact, she finally went ahead. Hide looked at me, rather painfully because he felt the suffering. However, he didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t worry about us.”   Yoshiki said.    “We’ll be fine. Please take care of Miss Momoe. She is a lovely woman.”

Hide gulped, not understanding why Yoshiki said that. I looked at Yoshiki, smiling that he had assumed right. I patted Hide, startling him.

“She is waiting.”   I gave him an affirmative nod, knowing he would get the message. He stepped back and went back to the car.

Toru sniggered as a pathetic attempt to prevent himself from crying. The stupid man took this as a plaything, not seeing how much this hurt Yoshiki. He looked at his father, eyes glistening, telling him silently and desperately that he loved him and didn’t want to let go of him. Toru smiled and ruffled his hair.

“Silly boy…you have much ahead, so many friends and people to love. You will be okay.”   He glanced at me.   “And you have this mole to bother you.”

I felt the lump in my throat, finally feeling the emotions of losing this man. He was not just Yoshiki’s father, he became my friend too. I felt like I knew this man closely. Toru said, gulping painfully.   “Let’s start.”

Yoshiki’s breath broke but he tried to stay strong. He slowly and shakily took out the letter he wrote to bid his father farewell. I clutched his arm, trying to support him but even I failed. The pain seeped in my mind but Toru gave me a strong look. He firmly said.

“I fulfilled my part of the promise. I didn’t leave him. Now, you must do the rest.”

 I didn’t know what he meant but I took it as a way to tell me to help him. I heaved and nodded, ready to help him pass. I was not going to regret it.

...

 

Toru’s funeral was held privately, within a small friend circle. His uncle and aunt were not invited for obvious reasons. Hide, Momoe and I were there, observing the little friends he had. They even volunteered to stay with him however he asked them to focus on their work, therefore leaving me to stay with him. I was given that day off as I guessed that the entire office knew about us. We didn’t have to announce anything, they knew anyway and it was not uncommon.

Yoshiki was smiling as much as he could because he felt that his father passed happily and peacefully. However, I knew just how much it hurt inside because I lost Ai the same way. At least, I had Momoe and Hide. This man was alone…

Making him a cup of coffee, I sat beside him and handed it to him. He took a sip and sighed, asking me all of a sudden.   “Have you thought of a name for the kitten?”

Oh, I completely forgot about the kitten. It was still with Momoe.   “I haven’t yet, but I think Momoe has already started calling it Kurumi.”

“It’s a pretty name, just like Miss Momoe.”   he smiled.   “You think Mister Hide will ever realise it?”

I tried to think whether he ever will. Knowing Hide, he never did. Ai was the one who made him confess by confessing first. Unless Momoe does something, he will never know. I answered with a light smile.

“Hide is an idiot. Someone will have to make him realise and Momoe hasn’t gotten over Ai yet.”

He was not surprised to know that Momoe was in love with my sister. He nodded understandingly.   “She will know about him and she will make a decision but you will have to bless them because they wouldn’t want to do it without you.”

“They have my blessings.”   I nodded and looked at him.   “They deserve to find happiness and they are better for each other than anyone else. They share the same foundation of pain and experience. They are the only ones to comfort each other.”

He understood and remained silent. In this stage anyone would question themselves but we didn’t need to. We didn’t need to ask where we were or how we will work it out. We had a feeling that we will be able to do it. We had this very supernatural like feeling that this moment existed for us two.

“In the end, I still couldn’t figure out the purpose of the empty diary or how father knew you.”   Yoshiki said.   “He left them a mystery.”

He did, indeed. Even I couldn’t figure out the empty diary. Was it meant as a joke? I took a wild guess.   “Maybe he wishes us to fill with something new. But knowing your father, he probably didn’t leave it for a deep philosophical reason.”   I ended up laughing and he smacked my arm, for joking. But he laughed too knowing that I was right. His father was an idiot.

He bit his lips and said.   “So, I was thinking of doing somethings. I was thinking of visiting a school I saw here. It looked small and underfunded. Maybe I should donate to it and I was thinking of helping you guys out whenever you require my help as a witness. What do you think?”

“You can do whatever you want. You have the freedom to make a choice.”   Which was something I knew he deserved. He nodded and exhaled.

"Do you know that this autumn will be the most colourful autumn? I can't wait to see it.”   he nodded feeling satisfied.    “I'm finally okay with this.”

So was I. I felt like that I accomplished something difficult to achieve this prize. Yet I doubted. Did I deserve this? Did I deserve him? He noticed my stare and asked.   “What is it?”

“I know that I shouldn’t question ourselves but I can't help but think whether I really deserve you.”

Yoshiki stared at me, piercing his eyes into mine. He surprised me by cupping my face, caressing my features. My cheekbones, jaw and chin, he memorised all with his fingers. His thumb moved to my lips as I gasped. His voice lowered and husked.    “Do you really want to know?”

I blinked countless times trying to figure out his simple question and yet I couldn’t. Musing and untainted, those eyes were. One could easily get lost in them. I could die in those eyes. My hands slowly and gently wrapped around his windpipe, without pressure. It put a surge of fear in me. I was so afraid of hurting this creature. This beautiful creature...

“I do…but I’m afraid of hurting you.”    I gulped as I said hazily.

While I trailed to his cheek and jaw, his hand slid between our chests, grasping my collar. Our eyes fell on each other one last time. Those eyes...I could slip in them, into that ocean, like the glass marbles...laughing at me. I knew this moment…I knew that it happened before but I couldn’t figure out when.

“You can never hurt me.”   He said and closed our distance, whispering.   "I love you."

And our lips finally met.

Our voices splintered between our kiss, embracing each other closer than before, intimately but dangerously. Yearning for more, we lay on the bed and let our hands move on our bodies. I desperately clutched onto the white collar and removed the garment slightly off his shoulders, revealing the paleness of his skin. He gripped my shoulders and my hair, silently allowing me to whatever I wished with him.

However, this was where I stopped realising what I was doing. I slowly pulled away meeting his questioning gaze. He was breathless which tempted me to ravish him but I knew that this was not the right moment. We had a lot of waiting to do for our own sakes. He knew when he looked at me. He knew what I believed and he shared the similar thought. This was not the time.

He smiled back at me, slowly stroking my chin, silently telling me that it was alright. I gently grabbed the delicate finger and kissed it, assuring him that it was. Entwining our fingers, I went down to his chest where the tattoo was and pressed my lips on it, earning a long satisfying pant from Yoshiki. We remained like that, just in each other’s arms, deeply satisfied with the simple acts of kindness and comfort. Our future was already decided and we were content with it.

We were okay…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is officially where it ends for Acchan and Yoshiki but Momoe and Hide's story is still pending. So I made a series where Momoe and Hide's relationship will grow. Dont worry, it will be a one shot.


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